Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

[itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes]

I’m not talking ‘fails to do any housework’ or ‘won’t parent his own kids’ but minor irritations that make you want to scream but you can’t because its so petty. For me

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

Unloads the dishwasher but leaves select things stacked up ‘near’ the cupboard or drawer they live in rather than putting them away. Apparently they are left there to ‘thoroughly dry’.

Rage!!!

oh, nests bowls inside each other in dishwasher then wonders why they didn't get clean.

This! Plus my DH hangs crumpled shirts up by the shoulders instead of the tail, so peg marks sticking out when they're dry. I've told him and the fact that he continues suggests it's his way of flexing his right to decide. BUT he doesn't iron anything.

OMG all of this too! Why are all these men so similar! 😆

Apart from the theatrical sneezes, I also get him saying 'oh dear...' or 'ha ha ha' when he's looking at his phone (or even when he's just sitting there doing nothing.) He wants me to say 'oh what is it, PLEASE do tell me!' I have stopped asking because I get so annoyed by it. ALSO, he asks me 'are you going out up town tomorrow?' I say 'not sure, why...?' 'Oh, no reason' he says. Why the fuck did you ask me then?!

The length of time he spends in the fucking bathroom. Literally, when he goes in there for a shower and to wash his hair (and sometimes a shit before he does this,) he is there for nearly an HOUR some days. Most days it's at least 40 minutes. He says to me 'do you need the bathroom?' (like for a wee) before he goes in, and I say 'no.' 45-50 minutes later I need a wee and knock on the door and say 'have you finished in there yet!?' He says 'I thought you didn't need the bathroom!' I said, I didn't need it nearly an HOUR ago when you first came in here. What the fuck are these men doing in there?

Also, yes, chatting shit about stuff I am not interested in. And it's particularly annoying when HE is watching one of HIS (shitty) programmes and I am trying to read or look at the internet, and he gives me a running commentary! I have said 'I AM NOT WATCHING IT, I AM NOT INTERESTED!' a number of times, and he still does it. He says with a forlorn look 'well I am interested!' I am like 'so?' It's like he expects me to stop everything I'm doing to listen to his drivel. So I just 100% flat out ignore him now and carry on with what I'm doing. He still mutters away about what he's watching though, and laughs out loud at stuff that isn't even funny and so on, so sometimes I have taken to sticking my headphones on/in my ears and putting music on so I don't have to listen to him...

And the hanging around in the kitchen when I am busy/washing up/cleaning/preparing dinner etc etc! He often just stands there at the door watching me! I'm like 'yeah?' and I look at him with a 'whaddya want?' look on my face. 'I've just come for a chat' he says, and he starts wandering around our (fairly small) kitchen. I say 'we can CHAT over dinner, right now I'm busy and you're in the way - (10 X 12 foot kitchen so not huge!) He says 'oh, I didn't know that I was SO FAT, and SOOOO HUGE that I can't fit in the kitchen at the same time as you!'

He can't seem to comprehend that it's not his 'size' it's the fact that he is there, hanging around like a fart, and if he stands ANYwhere in the kitchen, he is in my way for at least half the bloody time he's in there. I am at the sink, at the fridge, at the wall cupboards, at the floor cupboards, at the cooker, at the worktop, and then back again and again for the 30 minutes or so I am doing dinner. He is just a bloody nuisance when he's in there. Last time he did it (he does it about once a week!) I said 'if you wanna be in the kitchen, knock yourself out! Stay in here and cook dinner, and I will sit in front of the TV!' He sloped off in a sulk. Pillock! 😆

my DH is a SPOONY FUCKER.

He'll wander over to hob, have a look and then stirs stuff I've just stirred a moment ago - drives me bonkers

I’m single but 1 thing that annoys me when a male relative visits he hangs a carrier bag on the handle of the back door. Even though we have a bin because that’s what they do at home. I point it out to him it’s always oh I forgot I don’t notice it there blah blah. 🙄Yeah it’s there so we’re not tripping over the damm thing.

If ever we we’re off out somewhere and just about to go out the door, he takes himself off for 15 minute poo

My DH does not do this but my DM does, only she would never use a GLASS how wasteful when you could use a MUG and then have your coffee/tea out of it. Dirty looks if I dare to take away her mug and put it in the dishwasher and serve her water out of a glass.

Drives all around the fucking car park playing parking space roulette to get a space “near the door” driving passed multiple empty spaces.
Then when he’s pushed it too far and there aren’t any closer than the one he’s just passed …. Repeat 😵‍💫

I just thought of another one. When he needs to make a minor decision about something, e.g. where to park, he gives a running commentary complete with questions, "I could park here, but maybe we should wait, there might be a closer place, what do you think, oh there's another place, maybe I should park there?" And on and on. I used to respond to everything, but now I just say, "It's up to you, whatever is fine with me." These are such minor decisions, he really doesn't need my input. Nor does he need to narrate the whole procedure, but I haven't yet found a way to adequately communicate this simple fact. 😅

Is this a thing? because mine does it too. Complete and utter inability to fold things like flat sheets/duvet covers in a neat (ish) shape. He ends up with a kind of rolled sausage. I have to take everything out and re-fold it properly. I've demonstrated a thousand times: just hold the corners together and give a good, smart shake. But no 😭

Ah I got round this by keeping an old one which is no longer in circulation so cannot be spent!

Too late for you but have you considered perhaps a trolley token instead?

I would just sit on it until he asks for it. Petty I know.🤣🤣🤣

@JBFletchersJoggingSuit the sock hat is bizarre!

Offers me a cup of tea and then needs reminding 3 hours later when I am nearly dying of dehydration.

A true spoony fucker doesn't just stir, they add salt /herbs /garlic/soy sauce when it doesn't need it.

Mine does this! Omg

His jaw clicking whe he eats. I want to actually behead him with a karate kick

That's so weird. Does he bring his own bag or find one of yours?

omg the running commentary! My DP does it with packing...
" 7 pairs of pants, nice, got them, yup, ok, 2 smart shirts, yup, good, jeans, one pair of jeans, hmnnnn, 7 pairs of socks, oh no maybe 8 pairs of socks just in case..."
ARGH

Walks past the recycling bin to leave an empty drinks can on the side.

Doesn't tuck his chair in after sitting at the dining table, even though at a pub/restaurant he ALWAYS makes sure all chairs are tucked in on leaving.

Leaves mugs/glasses where he last used them, even though he ALWAYS takes glasses back to the bar in pubs.

Every weekend, tells me all the jobs he needs to do that weekend, then never does them.

Only ever has a shave when I've just cleaned the bathroom.

Leaves the TV on when he leaves the house, even if nobody else is watching it/there.

Tells me about things he's going to buy me, that I'll love or need. I tell him I do not need or already have said item. He buys them anyway, and they sit there unused. Waste of money.

Explains diy jobs he's doing at length, as if I'm interested in rawlplugs, flanges or drill bits. Stands in doorways, especially at inconvenient moments. Wipes his face with clean tea towel. Puts unwashed knives back in knife block. Rearranges kitchen cupboards, ostensibly in a more logical fashion, so that I don't know where anything is. Aargh!

Leaves the sodden dish sponges in the bottom of the sink rather than squeezing them out and putting them on the draining board. He then does things like tip old cups of tea down the sink so that the sponges become biohazards. We go through a lot.

Takes his clothes out of the dryer and puts them on top of it. I'm not going to move the clothes, so he then adds to the pile until we have a clothes mountain. He used to say this was because of chest of drawers was too small, we now have a bigger one and the clothes mountain is intact.

Not only sneezes at ear-splitting volume but also says 'esh' when he does it. So I have to put up with 'ESH! ESH!ESH!' in my earhole.

I think I've cracked this one with repetition, but he used to take the wet toilet wipes out of the packet and not reseal it so the rest would dry out. Every time.

When he buys stuff I put it away in the cupboard and then he thinks we don't have any and buys more. We have enough washing detergent and dishwasher tablets to last a year now and he's under strict instructions not to get more. I'm sure he'll forget.

Opens suitcase the second we get back from holiday to wash his stuff - no worries there, but then leaves the open suitcase in the middle of the hall/living room. One time I didn't mention it to see how long it would take before he moved it - I cracked after five days.

He is a wonderful man in many respects though, so I kind of put up with the above. I'm sure I have annoying habits also!

This thread is timely for me as I've been driven to tears over the last few weeks with pretty much all the stuff mentioned! It's been going on for years of course but for some reason I've just reached my tipping point.
I will add: never closing the wardrobe door, leaving lights on, placing things on things without any thought, thus breaking the thing underneath and/or the top thing balancing precariously; leaving plates/mugs on the floor, if mug left on table then it's next to the friggin' coaster, not putting lids back on properly.
And breathe!
It's weird because he really is a good guy and my absolute rock in so many ways. I thought this was a him thing so it does really help to hear that other men are like this (sorry!).
He is now genuinely trying and I give credit for that.

HOW COULD I FORGET THE MOST ENRAGING ONE?!

Makes cups of tea, and leaves the teaspoon on the white worktop, leaving little moon shaped tea stains on it. Then doesn't even reuse that spoon. JUST THROW IT IN THE SINK, MATE!! 🤬

Oh yes! The loonnggggg chats about jobs to be done “at the weekend”…
Even if we’ve got something else to do or the forecast is for a monsoon, these will be done this weekend…
Very rare anything does get done “this weekend” or bloody ever!🤨