Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

[itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes]

I’m not talking ‘fails to do any housework’ or ‘won’t parent his own kids’ but minor irritations that make you want to scream but you can’t because its so petty. For me

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

Unloads the dishwasher but leaves select things stacked up ‘near’ the cupboard or drawer they live in rather than putting them away. Apparently they are left there to ‘thoroughly dry’.

Rage!!!

He decides to do a big diy job just before we have guests e.g paint the doors out to the garden or fix something

I’ll start by saying I love his bones. He’s amazing and should we ever split or he die, I wouldn’t look at another man again, as they’ll just be let downs, but …
He will wash his hands at the sink, and then with his dripping wet hands walk across the kitchen for a tea towel dripping water all over my floor! ALL OVER IT.
Also he can’t make soup or beans or something wet without also getting loads on the counter which he doesn’t clean up! Water dripping soup spreading shit bag 😡
He’ll also say “I’ve cleaned the house from top to bottom” and I say .. windows and window sills, skirtings? He’ll say no, and I check and they’re manky and I said well you haven’t cleaned from top to bottom then have you!
I love him though, and he’s definitely got a list of things that I do that piss him off as well 🤷🏻‍♀️

So many relatable things here. Didn’t realise everyone else’s husbands did the windscreen wiper thing! Just bloody wipe the rain off the screen!!

Does the washing up, but once finished leaves the gross water in the bowl every time.

Insists taking the kitchen bins out is “his” job but won’t do it until the recycling is overflowing all over the place.

Makes a lot of noise generally. Humming, do-de-do-ing. Can’t walk past me without asking if I’m ok, yeah I’m fine you’ve asked 8 times today just take the bloody bins out.

Wow 😳! I can't imagine how anyone irons knickers .Is it nice to have properly flat undies ? I can't picture it.

I think I'm married to his brother 😁. Cured his laundry habit by making him totally responsible for the whole process but the rest, yeah.

He regularly complains about the mess on the kitchen table and demands that I clear my stuff off it. I pick up my two items and smile as he realizes that the rest is his. Every f...ing time.

Opens the windows too wide that i cannot reach them to close.

He is really long and i really short

Finishing things and then putting the empty boxes/bottles back in the fridge/cupboard so I don’t know they’re empty. Drives me mad. Sadly my adult children have started to do this too. Might need to have an intervention!

Similar, but replace windscreen wiper for high-beam switch on country lanes in pitch-black darkness...😨

Cant make the bed properly, no matter how many times i say it…. Plump the pillows and pull the duvet taught and neatly folded over at the top, not just pulled up with dented pillow's ffs.
close the toilet door so the automatic air freshener has a chance of making it smell nice and the noise of it going off doesn't ricochet around the house giving me a shock.
and please please move the cushions on the sofa back to the corner with a little plump at bedtime instead of leaving them side by side where you moved them. Drives me mad coming down every morning and having to do it.

You are not alone.

Brain fog from a disability, and autism, and sometimes I just run out of energy before I can clean up after a task. Sometimes I am so focused on my next task that the previous one goes unfinished.

The kitchen cupboard thing is because I really just want to chat with him because I missed him when he was out, and we have a small kitchen.

Can't explain the toothpaste one. I suppose I must have been dragged up

The irony is I'm actually really clean and tidy overall. I just flit around a lot.

Posted twice, sorry

Oh I’d forgotten that one. Yes, awful at choosing a parking space. Drives past lots of perfectly good spaces and ends up parking in a really weird/awkward/stupid one.

Mine is 52 but has been a curmudgeonly old man since we met in our late 20s. 😂

Me too, I was cringing reading that one! 😂

I think mine must perform some kind of windmill action in our screen less shower (installed by previous owners and worst design decision of all time).

He sprays water across the walls, soaks the bath mat, just water EVERYWHERE.

was going to say the same. Some of my china comes out still wet because it has an indentation in the pattern or deep foot (Emma Bridgewater bowls looking at YOU) so I leave them out to finish drying.

Yes, this too.

Worst was when he put top soil down, the morning of a big summer bbq at ours where everyone brought their kids. Cue muddy footprints fucking everywhere.

Or when we were in a rush to go out to lunch and he decided to scotch guard the lounge. I get the thinking it could dry while we were gone, but why start it 5 minutes before we left the house? He had hurty feelings about my irritation.

At least with the dishwasher you can open it to add things. Which is something I learned on here-I always assumed it was like a washing machine, that you couldn't open mid-cycle.

Another weird far, far away parker!!!!

Ex-DP would drive past all those empty nearby spaces, keep on going and going and going until we were in the furthest possible spot, sometimes in a part of the car park I didn't even know existed and then park. (In his fancy pants car with all the sensors, cameras and beepers and it would still take a million years - but he was a very good parker apparently, it was always the space that was the issue!)

turns off the automatic headlights EVERY time he drives the car...

I will never live with a man again
The NOISE
Drove me to distraction
The LOUD AF yawning, sneezing, throat clearing
Banging about
Can't stand it

Actually, ironed cotton knickers do feel lovely. I don't iron underwear but my mam used to. I think it flattens the fibres or something but it felt almost like new underwear every time.

DH declares he's having a shower about 10 minutes before we're due to leave - gives me the rage.

One time we left without him to his parents place - we live a 10 minute walk away, they all asked where he was. And i said "he wasn't even dressed when we left and said he wanted a shower..." - he turned up around 45 minutes later.

He insists on brushing with his electric toothbrush as if it's a manual one, scrubbing away and destroying the brush heads long before they need replacing.