Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

[itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes]

I’m not talking ‘fails to do any housework’ or ‘won’t parent his own kids’ but minor irritations that make you want to scream but you can’t because its so petty. For me

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

Unloads the dishwasher but leaves select things stacked up ‘near’ the cupboard or drawer they live in rather than putting them away. Apparently they are left there to ‘thoroughly dry’.

Rage!!!

I'm the husband, but can answer this one on DPs behalf.

I don't shut the wardrobe door properly a lot of the time, and it drives her absolutely spare.

20 years I have been trying and failing to reliably achieve this simple task. Nope, still got complained at last night.

I'm going to admit it... I do ENORMOUS sneezes. Really dramatic ones. I get bad hayfever so it's really horrible but may as well have some fun with them.

My dh does small lady-sized ones but millions in a row.... which is obviously far worse ...

My ex wife, at the age of 45, still did not know how to stack nor empty a dishwasher

Puts a washing load on at 9pm at night where he had all day to do it. Turning every thing into some kind of rocket science. We need to find a carpenter for some work. He’s taken months sourcing someone. I found someone in 10 minutes. While I’m making dinner he will come along at the last few minutes to help, getting in the way and putting food on the plates when it isn’t finished. He cleans the downstairs every weekend and tells our friends that I don’t do any house work!!

Decides he needs. to go for a poo just as I am about to serve dinner up.

My now ex had a habit of never closing closet doors or shutting drawers. At the time we finally separated, we were expats in a country where it's customary to have home help. One day, shortly before we split, I rebuked him for leaving a drawer open (I'd just walked into it) and he said, "I pay people to shut drawers for me.")

It was a factor in the split for sure.

Puts items in the recycling that I have told him a 1000 times do not get recycled, like a random used tissue or chewing gum wrapper, but then bins glass bottles. It's like he cannot understand it. My bin for rubbish and recycling box are not next to each other so it isn't like he has pressed the wrong pedal on the bin, he has made a conscious effort to sort rubbish this way.

Unhelpful tydying up after me while I'm cooking. So I'll be focusing on one element and setting up the next. Think making lasagna as an example. I'll be doing the meat element but have say the grater out and pull out flour etc ready to move to the next stage and he will come in and put the grater away and the flour etc. Just get out you pain in my arse!

@TantrumsAndBalloons He also cannot differentiate between clean and dirty in the dishwasher- every day after breakfast he will open the dishwasher and say "is this clean?"

Yes, yes, YES! I also get this. DH, what is it about the smell of stale fish coming from the dishwasher makes you think it is clean?

Mines well annoying
Constantly breathing
Really pisses me of

I keep coming back to this to add more.

It's me, not him. I love him. I'm perimenopausal and tired, and his very EXISTENCE moves me to rage. But this is cathartic.

Leaves the greasy, bitty, dirty water in the washing up bowl after he's washed the non-dishwasher stuff. All night, with the cloth in. So I get to deal with cold greasy soup in the morning. (No, he gets no credit for doing the dishes. This is not the place).

Uses food bags to keep things fresh in the fridge (ie, opens a pack of sandwich chicken, uses half, puts it in a food bag). We have a drawer full of plastic takeaway tubs accumulated over the years for exactly for this purpose. I can't bear the casual use of single use plastic, environmentally OR financially. USE A FUCKING TUB.

Sleeps on his back with his arms by his side and the duvet tucked primly under his chin, like a corpse or a sci-fi robot, and doesn't move all night. It creeps me out.

Exactly the same here! My husband is very capable at washing up but for some strange reason my reusable coffee cup just doesn’t seem to register with him as something that requires washing.

So despite the cup being in the exact same place as everything else to be washed - right next to the sink - he studiously ignores it every single time. Bizarre.

Licks the yoghurt lid. It’s not exactly what he does but how he does it

Over the top sneezing
eating loudly
Holding cutlery in the “wrong” hands
putting salt and pepper on meal before tasting it
sitting watching while I get baby ready for bed; and moving creams etc when he thinks I’m finished with them…not putting away, just moved to a different place

Oh yes this. My mother is one for these. They sit somewhere between incredibly annoying and utterly terrifying! (They’ve nearly caused traffic accidents a couple of times!) And it’s the weirdest thing isn’t it?! 40 odd years of experiencing her do these and I still can’t quite believe they’re wholly natural, it feels performative. And the sound, it’s like a bear has just been hit in the stomach by a wreaking ball and had all the air knocked out of it. Constantly amazed half her inners don’t come flying out.

The other sneeze that I find hard to witness is the one that sounds like the person is doing their very best not to let it out and instead there’s a sort of small echoing explosion in their head, like a bomb being set off in a controlled explosion. It sort of hits the closed mouth and then ricochets about trying to get out of any possible head based orifice.

Sorry, this made me laugh so hard 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣.

Same!!! Love the bones of him but he's woken me up doing it before, he's lucky he wasn't smothered with a pillow!

Envious of the never procrastinates. We still don't have skirting boards in the kitchen after redecorating nearly 3 years ago! The wood is bought and sitting there ( in the way) . It will be time to redecorate before the skirting boards are in place. Inexplicably tore off the stair carpet, because he thought wooden stairs would look more aesthetically pleasing, but hasn't filled and sanded the woodworm marks yet, so not only no carpet on stairs, but stairs that look riddled with wood worm, this was 5 years ago! I could go on.......

Mine is really unreasonable but I feel like he saves the hoovering for when I am around and I hate the noise. I am in the office all day 4 days a week (and shut away in the home office on the 5th day) but he always seems to do it during the actually quite rare times I am relaxing. He does basically all the housework (he doesn't have a job) and can obviously set his own timetable for this.

Oh another one! He always leans over me when I am cooking and turns the extractor fan on full and I hate it. I can't think when it's that loud.

Mine are all noise related!

If he sneezes (and I mean once, not a massive fit of it), cries, 'God! What's that about?' like it means he's coming down with some Victorian death bug. Mate, people just sneeze sometimes.

Empties the dishwasher but then leaves new dirty stuff on the side.

Mine actually hangs things on top of each other on the line, as well as not shaking them smooth.

Uses a paper towel to do the drying up instead of a tea towel. Such a waste and bad from the environment!

Doesn't use bins. Litter and recycling all over the place, often piled up next to the sink, directly above our bins.

Clothes and shoes abandoned in places where they shouldn't be.

Requires chasing about 80 times before doing a task. Doesn't update me when it's done. Then looks annoyed that I am harassing him.

Has ridiculous processes and procedures which - if not complied with - everything just falls apart. Example: baked cookies but because I did not weigh out all the ingredients from the start (just why?), he forgot to add ALL of the dry ingredients including flour. I then had to save the cookies. If I remind him about this in the future he will probably get really cross with me. Apparently it's my fault.

Restacks the dishwasher when it's perfectly fine.

If he doesn't have time to do a thorough job, he won't do it at all. Whereas I'm like "well I only have 10 minutes today, let's see what I can do and I'll continue with the rest another day". Example: every so often our larder cupboard needs reorganising. I would do a shelf at a time if pressed for time but he has to take it ALL out (big cupboard, holds nearly all our dry food) and take several hours doing the whole thing. Obviously this happens very rarely.

Arghghhh.

My DH did this once, without pulling my padded bras into shape! I had to re-wash them.

The amount of toilet paper he uses. I don't live with my partner and I buy posh Andrex puppy toilet roll because it makes me happy. But whenever he comes over and has a wee when I'm in the same room (say I'm brushing my teeth, having a shower etc) I'm gobsmacked by the amount of loo roll he needs to use.

He gets a massive wad to dab the end of his willy. Then he gets another massive wad to wipe around the loo rim, in case of any splashes. He must use 12 squares per pee, and I use 2.