Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

[itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes]

I’m not talking ‘fails to do any housework’ or ‘won’t parent his own kids’ but minor irritations that make you want to scream but you can’t because its so petty. For me

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

Unloads the dishwasher but leaves select things stacked up ‘near’ the cupboard or drawer they live in rather than putting them away. Apparently they are left there to ‘thoroughly dry’.

Rage!!!

A complete inability to empty a bag of shopping - be it food or non food - coupled with a talent for leaving the full bags all over the place. If anyone ever reads of a bizarre murder where someone has had carrier bags shoved into every orifice, it’s because I’ve finally cracked!

Try rolling them like at the hairdressers. It's been a game changer for me. Bath sheets folded in 4 and rolled, hand towels folded in three and rolled. Use a divider between sizes along the shelf. When they spot their favoured towel in the stack, they have to push against the ones above while pulling it out. This solution actually works for us and only took 10 years to find.

Although DH still needs me to do the rolling and stacking of laundered towels as I'm "so much better than him at it" 🙄.

You have my sympathies, annoying! I used to work with someone like that. It got to the stage I just walked away before they'd finished because it was dull and irritating.

Leaves his clothes all over the floor then gets irritated if a dog chews something..
Sneezes so bloody loudly.
Insists he’s never wrong, while in the same breathe insisting he is not one of those people who are never wrong - that one drives me demented!
Uses words like thingummy in sentences and expects me to know what he’s on about. Aaaaagh

Relays information in 1000 words when 20 will do.

Sneezing like a bomb going off.

Not reading labels properly when food shopping, so, not for the first time, buying peeled plum tomatoes instead of just chopped.
But he has never repeated the ‘star turn’ of coming home with a joint of pork instead of gammon’ - ‘I thought it WAS gammon,’ he said, all injured…. Ditto pork mince instead of beef….

Apart from that, no complaints, he’s not a bad old bugger really - I do count myself lucky,

Ooh, that's me. It's a throwback from childhood and tea always being made with loose tea. Ooops. Ah well, I do the cleaning up so at least am not irritating anyone else :-)

Puts everything in the sink after eating despite being able to very easily rinse and put in the dishwasher directly next to the sink. So I usually end up moving it all straight after from the sink to the dishwasher and the worst part… I don’t say anything!!!

My DH is wonderful, helpful, caring, would do anything for me - BUT:

He insists on doing things for me that I don't actually want done, then gets hurt when I'm not grateful/cross
He does a lot of washing up, badly, so I have to do it again, and has absolutely NO idea of the concept of doing the washing up in such an order to ensure the most logical/space saving use of the drainer. For instance - he will wash up a big saucepan first and then try to pile the plastic takeaway containers on top of it. Then I annoy him by refusing to empty the drained because everything falls off it.
He leaves the dirty washing up water in the bowl
We do have a dishwasher - he is good at filling it and emptying it but putting things away seems beyond him
He is excellent at stopping in the narrowest place in the room so that it is impossible to get past him without asking him to move.
He insists on telling me what I think and how I feel. In fact he doesn't mean to do this at all, it is just a manner of speaking and I should know that, but it gets my goat every time!
He comes from a different area of the country from me and there are some expressions that absolutely drive me up the wall! For instance, when doing a task, usually a minor bit of DIY, about maybe a screwdriver... 'it doesn't want to do it like that'. A screwdriver is not sentient - it doesn't have wants or needs! I'm sure those of you from that part of the country will recognise that phrase!
He is weird about eating things he thinks are leftovers - which are usually things I have made and put into the freezer on purpose. For instance - chicken fricasee which is, indeed, made with leftover chicken but it is chicken I have cooked purposefully to have some leftover. (Cooked chicken, bacon (or leftover gammon if I happen to have some) and onion in a tasty white sauce). Every time he will make a face and mumble about 'leftovers'. Every time he polishes the plate and tells me how delicious it is.

That is a LOT of things but we have been together for 20 years and I absolutely adore him.

Me too! I think I can explain this one. I was brought up with loose leaf tea and you had to leave a bit in the end of your cup to avoid getting a mouth full of tea leaves. I've been using teabags for over 30 years but I still can't bring myself to finish the last bit in the cup.

We used leaf tea - and a tea strainer....

Mine is amazing in so many ways so I bite my tongue hard, but…

Can’t wash glasses properly - always, always smeary. I’ve sort of fixed this by saying I’ll wash them, but he still sometimes does (tbf some people would complain if he left them, so…) but then I have the irritation of taking a ‘clean’ glass out of the cupboard and having to wash it before I can use it. I don’t know what he does wrong - I’ve watched him and we’ve done it together to find out why! He does the exact same as me, except his are smeary and sometimes greasy, and mine are crystal clear… same washing up order, same sponge…

Drawers are never shut. It’s like a phobia. We joke about it except on the odd occasion where I turn around and catch myself on an open drawer, then I swear a lot.

Fridge (and to a lesser extent, freezer) door is also to remain open while in use. This could be for as long as it takes him to cook (yes I’m happy that he’s cooking dinner). The fridge beeps after a while to remind you… he shuts it to stop the beep then opens it again. It’s a very basic fridge and can’t cope with this so it ends up with regular overheating/frost issues and I end up with rage issues!

Puts fruit in the bowl still in nets and plastic packaging.

Leaves the dishwasher open. In fact doesn’t close drawers or the bin etc.

Blows his nose incredibly loudly. Terrifies the cat.

Pointlessly rearranges the dishwasher.

Leaves all manner of random items by doors and the bottom of the stairs “to go out/up” but doesn’t take them…

Love these.. all of them.... I think there are things I do that infuriate my husband!!

Passive aggressive chopping.. I like my vegetables in chilli, curry, etc in small similarly sized shapes.. he prefers large chunks.. I slice mushrooms including the stem.. he removes the stem and cooks it whole.. I prefer a high mayonnaise to tuna ratio smoothly mixed, he prefers chunks... and mince.. he prefers the mince to clump together... I prefer my bolognese to be very fine.

We do love each other!! But it is minor silent battle field in the kitchen.. he ignores the kids preferences and is then confused why they don't eat his food... this is getting better now there has been a shift in our working hours and he is around more for dinner and lunch making!

Leaves the washing up water in the sink so next time I come to it it's cold and smelly. Why!

Always leaves cupboard doors open - just why?
Pours dregs of tea into the sink but never rinses it away so there is a permanent brown stain on the stainless steel drain - until I clean it of course!
Mumbles terribly - he says there is something wrong with my hearing, but how come I can hear everybody/everything else?
Never uses the bath mat so there is always water all over the floor - I have pointed out this is dangerous too, but to no avail.
Never rinses the bath after use.
Crumbs everywhere after making toast - and the knife he has used to spread butter is left standing up in the jam jar!

Literally screams if he gets a calf muscle cramp in the middle of the night. A proper bellowing "Aaaaarghhh!" I sometimes get the same thing and I just suck air through my teeth and massage my muscle until it goes. I don't wake the house up!! 😆 Luckily it's not frequent.

Sounds like he’s trying to protect the wiper motor mechanism! No bloody good if you’re all dead though…

The chewing noise when eating gummy sweets 😡

I feel ungenerous even typing this, but the way he eats crisps. He's got lovely manners in general, but Oh. My. God. The crunching and lip smacking and the sheer quantity of crisps he can put away when he gets his hands on a sharing bag. I get angry just thinking about it.

Used to say he was going to run the bath 'off' and cubbot instead of cupboard and dressing gownd with the d on the end ick ick ick

Mine is usually last to pass the back door before bed. Every night in bed, me: "did you check if the back door was locked". DH: "oh I'm probably but I can't quite remember". Cue me getting out of bed, going downstairs, finding the door is actually locked then going back to bed. AARGH please just commit to remembering! We've discussed it, no change.

My one does the windscreen thing too! Highly annoying and most of his driving is actually annoying. He's a good driver but so over cautious. Getting into a car park with plenty available parking spaces, he drives past lots of suitable ones and chooses one furthest away always

It can also be from growing up (or even currently living) somewhere with very hard water. You only need one mouthful of limescale before you never, EVER drink right to the bottom of the cup again.

My kids complain about me doing it (I don't have a DH) because they say there's a filter on the kettle, but this doesn't always work and a mouthful of cool tea full of little bits (and sometimes large ones) is revolting.

I have solved one thing that drove me insane for literally years and that was DHs absolute obsession with the Sky recordings. Every time we used over 30% of space he used to go on a rampage and sit there saying to me- who recorded this?, are you going to watch it? when are you going to watch it? to the point I wanted to throw the remote out of the window. Every single time I would point out that 1- I could have watched at least one thing I had recorded in the time it took him to complete the bloody Spanish inquisition and 2- the majority of space was taken up by HIS recording the entire practice sessions, qualifying, race, post race on an F1 weekend
We now have sky glass with our own playlists so thankfully this is now a thing of the past but dear god almightly it was annoying

He also cannot differentiate between clean and dirty in the dishwasher- every day after breakfast he will open the dishwasher and say "is this clean?"
Bearing in mind he gets up first so every day my reply is- "did you empty the dishwasher when you got up? No? Then unless the fairies came and did it I think we can assume its clean and needs emptying"

He also wants to keep EVERYTHING "just in case" I would love to know what event would necessitate us having an iphone from 2009 that no charger even fits anymore and the cable for his speakers that do not work and were thrown out years ago but he is just waiting for the moment he can jump up and say SEE I TOLD YOU WE NEEDED THIS