Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

[itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes]

I’m not talking ‘fails to do any housework’ or ‘won’t parent his own kids’ but minor irritations that make you want to scream but you can’t because its so petty. For me

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

Unloads the dishwasher but leaves select things stacked up ‘near’ the cupboard or drawer they live in rather than putting them away. Apparently they are left there to ‘thoroughly dry’.

Rage!!!

Omg the crumbs 😂😂😱😱 why is it so irritating 😂

My husband does the windscreen wiper thing too. It drives me mad . . . Ffs just put the things on auto!

Uses a massive frying pan then fills with water to ‘soak’ but leaves the pan balancing on the middle of the sink ad infinitum rendering the whole unit unusable. Every time I see it balancing there I pour out the water and stick it in the dishwasher, whilst silently calling him a knobhead

Mine takes the full bin bag out (good, well done!) but never puts a new bag in. In my mind, he's done half the job.

Puts used teabags in the sink not the bin and he won’t bin them until they are dry. Apparently they cannot be put in bins straight from the cup because it ‘hots up the bin and makes it steamy’.
Hes wrong because I put the fuckers in the bin and thee has been no dire steamy bin consequences.

I am married to your Husbands twin😤

You are married to my husband. I came on here to say this. We had a birthday party for my 4 year old at the weekend. I'm desperately making sandwiches whilst finishing the cake icing, getting the kids suncream on etc and he's busy putting away the clean washing. Argh! You can do that after the blinking party!

Yep we have that one too. It’s apparently because he might want to drink out of it again and doesn’t want to dirty another glass. If I put it in the dishwasher he goes insane and the implication is that I’m an extravagant spendthrift with dishwasher space.

It is very weird! I don't know if it's a way to bite his tongue to avoid saying something he might regret since it only happens when we disagree. But I would much prefer him to say what's on his mind, rather than hum at me. Infuriating!

Would you be able to explain why you do these things in the first place? I just dont get where it comes from? Thanks.

Just remembered something else, having read through these. DP is obsessed with filling every square inch of the kitchen bin bag. When it’s full (as far as I’m concerned) he takes it out of the pedal bin (one of those tall ones) and squishes everything down, then leaves it lying against the bin it just came out of, like a giant rubbish filled slug. It is then filled and squished several times before it’s finally tied and taken out to the wheelie bin. It has fallen over a few times scattering rubbish everywhere. If I tie it up and throw it out myself, I get the Spanish Inquisition about whether it was completely full and letting me know that he had more stuff earmarked to go in. It’s a strange obsession and extends to the recycling. I can’t even be bothered explaining that one😅

Omg - my husband used to do this - I thought it was bizarre and I’d always go behind him and open the other one.im amazed someone else does this.

We bow have shutters and no curtains however he still only lifts the slats on one side 🙄

Make one loop, wrap the other lace around it, and pull the second loop through. Voila!

Ex-DP, obviously had very damming qualities, as he is now ex but on the inconsequential front, was the excessive pronunciation of the word "clean". He used to say "Kerleeeeeeeeeen" and really pull his lips back for the "eeeeeen" bit. It was as thought by really emphasising the word he was emphasising the cleanness. Even when I first met him and thought he was fabulous, it used to irritate me. By the end, I'd try to avoid topics that could possibly result in the use of the word clean, otherwise I'd want to bludgeon him.

Mine can sit in the house and not say a word for hours but the minute i get up to do something he follows me from room to room and chats about fuck all,he will stand outside the bathroom door and keep chatting, he also makes sure he is standing in the next place i need to get too. It is like having a bloody toddler attached to my leg.
And for all of you that have Husbands under 55, my god you have such a treat in store. Once they head towards 60 they start making noises, constantly, no matter what they are doing 24 hours a bloody day😡I have resorted to ear buds as i just want to commit murder.

Yes to performance yawns, it drives me mad. He sounds like a bear and it echos through the house.

For some unknown reason he likes to roll one sock up his foot and sits there relaxing with the sock on his toes like a little hat. On or off make your mind up.

Despite having, at great expense installed bespoke under stairs storage for coats shoes and bags and requesting I put hooks up for keys. He enters the house, walks straight past all storage, puts keys on the kitchen island, shoes near the kitchen stools, bag in the doorway between the kitchen and dining room and his pièce de résistance is to chuck his coat in the middle of the dining table. Then when he heads upstairs to get changed, ignoring all his belongings on the way bellows at the kids to put their bags away.

When he runs upstairs he makes an ‘eh’ noise on every step.

If we’re in bed and I am asleep and he is not he will snuggle up to me and either stroke my face or give me loads of kisses then be surprised when I wake up pissed off that he’s woken me up.

Makes such a meal out of cutting the grass I don’t need to cook on those days.

Yes! Why do they do that? And if you send them to the clothesline to take it in they just dump stuff in the basket. No folding to minimize the creases 🫣.

Although because my DH retired before me, he took over the laundry, and it's rarely been an issue since then 🙃. (A trick my late DM showed me - when they retire, give them charge of the job where their input has caused the most gritted teeth from you in the past. You will have to thank and/or praise them on a semi regular basis and listen to a bit of mansplaining as they make wise pronouncements about the parts of the process that have to be done "right" but it worked for her with the washing up and is working for me with the laundry.

I’m going to have to defend the Rain-X. Even using wipers, visibility can be really bad, particularly if there is a lot of surface water spray. Rain-X really does make a difference. Still need the wipers though.

LTB!

Will not close cupboard doors, and very loud sneezes

And for all of you that have Husbands under 55, my god you have such a treat in store
THIS

Omg, mine does this and actually comes out with a performative "Aahhchoo!" at the end!

Leaves half a cm of tea in the mug every single time. Doesn’t matter if a tiny mug or a huge one. The amount of times I’ve picked up a mug that seemed empty for its contents to spill everywhere. Just fucking finish a drink.

Hangs washing up inside out and folded over so it takes ages to dry. Puts clean pots and pans on the hob instead of in the cupboard. Hangs his towel over the wet shower screen to “dry”. Moans at the kids for leaving shit lying around the house when he does exactly the same thing! He really is a good egg though, and I’m certain there’s a long list of things I do that irritate him 😂

Oh god mine does this too, never one sneeze its a whole series of them…. For ages! I know he cant help it but it’s so embarrassing.