AIBU - Refusing to hand over documentation?

[FunnyBeaker]

OP has approached me asking to hand over our child’s passport to allow them to use it for cinema trips, as they haven’t got any other form of ID. There is a CO in place which states it’s to be used for holiday purposes only by each parent, nothing of the requested nature. The OP has previously been provided with several copies of multiple passport details, but looses them each time, now they are requesting these yet again as they can’t find them and suddenly want to apply for a driving licence, despite being handed the last copy by a barrister and signing to say they’ve received them! What would you do in this situation? We are 6 weeks out from summer and don’t feel it’s appropriate a child walking round with a passport, which could get lost and I’d be the one left to pay out for it again or having to change any holiday plans. What would you do in this situation?

Take a photo on their phone-that’s what i do

Surely there are many other forms of ID for cinema? A travel card? A student card? Or just a copy of the passport on his phone?

You are being vague but I assume his other parent has a history of manipulation and abuse which is why you are resistant? I think you should remain the holder of the passport but just ensure yoru child has some other way to prove his age. It doesn't need to be this complicated.

Re drivers licence, if passport details are required, again, a photo of the passport would provide all relevant details and, if necessary, can be uploaded to any website. The only time you need the physical passport is when renewing it (or, obviously, travelling).

Agreed.

Do not give them the passport, the intention will be to "lose" it to scupper your holiday plans. Spiteful but that is how some folk are.

You can just get the Yoti app for this. I think most of the cinemas accept this as a form of ID.

Ahh ok. Our local cinema is self service so you usually buy online or on the terminals there with no staff involvement. The staff on the screens entry point (teenagers themselves in our one) just zap you in and barely look up 😂

Not a tactic seems cinemas are going hard lately my son got asked for Id at odeon last week as pure luck would have it I actually had his passport in my car because he had been away just a few days previously and chucked it into the glove box

Provisional driving license, they will use the photo off the passport so very easy to apply online. This is exactly what we did for Ds.

The driving license is the only ID a lot of clubs will accept where I live, they won't take a citizen card. The provisional license lasts 10 years and at some point hopefully they will be learning to drive so two birds, one stone.

My son needs ID for going to concerts without an adult (age 16). I didn't want him taking his passport as we have a holiday coming up and it would be a nightmare if it was lost. We applied for a provisional driving license on the Friday and it arrived on the Tuesday. We did need to use passport info on the application.

We would be applying for his provisional in 10 months anyway....so we haven't paid for anything we wouldn't be paying for in 10 months anyway

Because in my opinion sometimes choosing the 5 minute option to sort a situation is more beneficial for your own sake than months of endless back and forth about a nothing topic like going to the cinema in the name of being right.

Abide by the care order. It is made by the Court. Notify your solicitor of this request.

I would be happy to provide a copy or help them obtain a wide variety of other id forms which would be acceptable to get a child into a cinema. Yoti for example. I would be very reluctant to hand over the passport as a) it might get lost b) they might be planning to use the passport for something else entirely.

Get the teen to apply for a provisional driving licence. Let teen have a photo of their passport on their phone.

Ignore the ex.

For the cinema a phone photo of the passport page is accepted. We’ve had to do this for dc. They don’t expect you to bring your passport with you.

Don't even entertain them, just tell them to contact the barrister again. They cannot have the passport and that's the end of the matter. The 16 year old is old enough to apply for a provisional licence themselves or some other form of ID if they require it. No parent needs to be involved. I would also be concerned that they want the passport to either "lose" it and therefore cause problems for your holiday plans, or they wish to take their child abroad for nefarious reasons.

You don't go to get a provisional (or other) licence - you apply online.

Just get your child to photograph their own passport and keep the photo on their phone. Thats what my children do for the cinema.

They do. I was at the cinema last week and witnessed people getting asked for ID as it was an 18 film

DD found that clubs and anywhere that sells alcohol won't accept anything other than driving licence or passport. Citizen cards are a waste of money apparently.

I don't know why but the same here, we are in a city. The door staff are really strict on it, I think maybe there is something about being able to check a driving license number on something that would say if it is legit. There is no way to do that with a Citizen card.

I didn't want mine carrying a passport out with them. This is what I had to do as I had a baby face and even at 23 would get asked for ID on the door. No photo ID driving license back then.

I guess you have children that look old enough then. My DD looks young for her age and is often ID'd for films. We had to rush ID to her one time as she wasn't allowed into a 12 film with friends - she was 15 and it hadn't crossed our minds she would need any. After that she made a point of taking some every time.

Yes, you can order tickets online, but you still have to go past a person at the door who checks.

Give your child a photocopy of their own passport to keep in their wallet (since OP is such a moron they apparently keep losing it).
Or a photo of passport on their phone saved under faves.

Under no circs would I supply the actual passport in the situation you describe.

If that (somehow) fails and they apparently cant get into the cinema... explain its OPs issue to mamage as they keep losing copies of passport. So the options are to watch a movie at home or go bowling / ice skating / watch a PG or 12 rated movie.
Theres a million choices.

Separately you probably need an open conversation with your child about the OP and the past / risks / dangers of going on an overseas "adventure"

Does the child suffer by missing out if you don't give it off so I'd just do it.
I get it's a pain in the arse but child first.
Otherwise can they have picture of it on their phone or carry a photocopy in their wallet themselves?

Porvisonal driving license - you can get one from 15 years and 9 months old - and last 10 years - £34 if apply on-line.

Just applied supposed to take about a week - DD2 needed it in shop when her friend was buying a redbull but they wouldn't sell it due to under 25 rule and her being with friend and DD2 had no ID.

Yes they do. My son and his friends went to see backrooms and they were asked for ID