AIBU to find a girl's comment about social media quite sad

[FelicityShagsWell]

I just heard the story on the radio about Kier Starmer wanting to tighten up access to social media for under 16s. A few sound bites from some children followed. One girl said it's unfair because there's nothing else to do. Am I unreasonable to find that utterly sad?

I agree with you OP.

It definitely reinforces the argument for banning social media for the under 16s.

Personally I find the number of people - I'm talking adults here -walking down the street looking at their phones really disturbing. And seeing even young children doing the same is horrible.

I was charged into yesterday by a phone zombie.

Phone zombie is a brilliant description OP.
I hope you weren't hurt.

Agree completely. I think there are some concerns with the ban but this is the biggest issue of all for me with kids and social media, more important even than the risks of sexual abuse, grooming and bullying.

Its the fact that social media is breeding a nation of zombies who can’t use their brains anymore.

It’s just the way they’ll feel for now.
My then teen dc said the same when their school banned the use of phones during lunch/break times. Within about 2 weeks they were sitting playing card games etc with their friends instead of sat side by side noses in phones.
they’ll get used to it and find there’s LOADS to do!

My kids are younger but one of them is already saying their friends are going to find a way round it… utterly bizarre. My kids are not allowed on SM.

Thanks! No, just annoyed!

Probably the best thing this governments ever done

Possibly a daft question - but can't anyone get round this using a VPN?

It is really sad.

My DS, aged nearly 12, was at a school event recently where they needed to be signed in and out by an adult. So many kids had brought smartphones with them - why?! Many ended up using them for a good chunk of the event because "it was so boring - what else were we supposed to do?" (my kid did not bring a phone but of course was watching some other boy play a game 🙄). When I suggested that they could have talked to one another instead, he said "It's not the 1960s mum"!!

I'm hoping that a ban will instigate a cultural shift, leading to us not being afraid to say that phones are not permitted at parties, sleepovers, events etc (and even make it less acceptable for adults to mindlessly scroll when they're in company). Currently, it can feel like overstepping when you think about imposing that kind of rule.

One downside though is that children who are excluded by others for being 'different' might have a much harder time finding community, if they are reliant on online communities.

I'm not sure they've realised details of how the ban will be implemented, have they? There will probably always be some technological loophole though. It will probably still rely, in part, on parents actually looking out for and educating their children.

I watched the BBC 1 news coverage and the silly girl who when asked what she could do with the 9 hours that she had been on SM replied "Stare at a wall" 🙄

It is so sad OP. When I was a kid - 1980's, I played on computer games when I was stuck indoors due to the weather. Most of the time I was out playing with friends. I know which generation had it better.

Essentially the government have, quite rightly, pushed responsibility on to parents. If a child is getting round the ban and looking at social media now, the 'well all my friends do' argument no longer washes. A parent can categorically state that it's banned. So if a child continues to access it, the only people to blame are the parents for not putting sufficient controls in place.

It's a win/win for the government. They can't lose.

I'd imagine there's ways and means yes. One of the kids on the interview said they'd just set up an account with a fake date of birth.

I think social media and smart phones need banning in a lot more places and to a lot more people personally. Was at the airport yesterday, I haven’t flown since before Covid (yes I know!!!!) and was quite shocked at the number of air side staff on phones. Doom scrolling and looking bored. One young man sitting in his truck which moves the plane back from the terminal, sat oblivious to everything around him, scrolling on his phone. I mean yes, he didn’t need to be doing anything at that moment, but surely air side with lots of people and stuff going on, just having an awareness of his surroundings and being alert would make everywhere safer? If was the same at my destination (within UK), could see staff on phones air side.
I think the whole social media, smart phone thing does need looking at and boundaries being put in place, it’s just getting ridiculous that people can’t cope without them, and can’t entertain themselves. No wonder we have had an explosion of ADHD, I mean we are ALL addicted to phones and the hit we get from them!!!!!
I hate to see where we’ll be in 10 years time to be honest.

I find this a pain with my staff. Being in phones when there is "downtime".

They are overall good DND diligent, but don't remember, that before phones, when there was downtime they typically would find little jobs that needed going, or improved things in the work as pace.

It's frustrating. Ok hate nag go ing.li JJ Ed I'm their mother.

Indeed. Only last week I saw a woman walking along the road, staring at her mobile - whilst her child (a girl of around 7) struggled to keep up with her, 20m behind. I wanted to say "You've just picked your child up from school - TALK to her."

I do feel for the kids stuck in that age group who have already discovered social media and will then have it taken away but it’s definitely a case of being cruel to be kind.

This is the best thing in a long time to help our children but the key thing is that parents have to back up the ban. They can’t help or let kids skirt around it and they have to reiterate how important it is.

Children don’t need smart phones and if more parents stood firm and went back to non tech phones for kids we would have a generation of happier children.

She’s not wrong though is she what else is there for them to do? There is a real danger of the under 16s now finding unsafe ways around the use of SM. My dds are 15 and 14 excelling at school, have hobbies outside of school and go on tik tok, IG and Snapchat when they have free time. Their accounts are all private and linked to my phone. I do have a little look every now and then at what they are up to but on the whole they’re sensible girls. Surely more onus should be on parents?

I mean they really want this to go through and are in full public manipulation mode, so they won't have chosen soundbites where the kids are joyful and living fulfilling lives, will they?

Sad and also not true - there’s plenty of things to do.

Sport, gaming, socialising, cinema, reading, arts and crafts, etc etc etc.

I came on to mention this as well. I shouted at the TV "use your imagination". How do they think people managed before mobiles? I despair.☹️

And doing what for U16s instead? When I was young, there were youth clubs, and sports clubs and affordable things to do. What do we have for young girls these days?

There are probably a generation, perhaps 2 generations of people who haven’t learnt to play as they have had too much technology.

When I was a kid in the 80s/90s we had tonnes of imagination for play. We built dens, used random objects to create things (we used to collect buckets and use them to
store conkers at primary school, then trade conkers with other kids’ dens for a bucket or bit of wood that we wanted). We used the buckets as makeshift drums and all sorts. We pretended to be animals, made up fun stories, explored inside and outside. Used toys as part of our stories, made games with them. Played (kindly) with pets. Used cardboard boxes as forts or as stables for model horses. There was always tonnes to do. My parents didn’t let us watch much tv or play computer games much.

Have these children who have had phones and social media for years been able to develop these skills? And for some kids their parents probably didn’t develop these skills either so can’t teach them.