AIBU to find a girl's comment about social media quite sad

[FelicityShagsWell]

I just heard the story on the radio about Kier Starmer wanting to tighten up access to social media for under 16s. A few sound bites from some children followed. One girl said it's unfair because there's nothing else to do. Am I unreasonable to find that utterly sad?

I would definitely suggest sports. Relatively cheap and there are clubs everywhere.

It’s the need for constant stimulation that’s the issue.

@BoredZelda
Well when I was young yes there was a local youth club but that was only one day a week.
I only had a small group of friends and we used to make our own entertainment. We would meet up and listen to music, play cards and board games, go to local cafes for coffee, in summer play tennis in the park or even hire a rowing boat. We used to skate. Even as teenagers we did these things. I can't remember that we were bored very often.

Pre phones I had my head stuck in a book at all times while listening to music. So not hugely different in some ways…

What else is there for them to do? Are you serious? Literally anything else. Read a book, play an instrument, hang out with friends in real life, ride a bike, even sulk in their bedrooms istening to music bemoaning the state of the world and the unfairness of life like teenagers have done for decades. All of those are preferable to the 9 hours (per day?!) that kid is apparently spending on social media. The point is, if they're not constantly glued to their phones they will, eventually, find other things to do.

The fact that some under 16s will find ways around the ban does not mean it's not worth trying. The current batch of 12-15 year olds will kick and scream and find it tough (or they'll get around it), but for younger children it will be much more normalised not to have access to SM as they enter their teens, and I think that's a good thing.

It’s not sad. It’s not true.

Not quite the same though, as I think it's the algorithms that are dangerous for kids.
How if you watch one thing, it will automatically push and play you more of the same, or stuff it "thinks" you'll like. None of which might be suitable for kids, or even harmful.
You don't get that with your head in a book.

Well it isn’t sad, it’s just true. The Tories closed down a lot of youth clubs, some libraries, community centres etc. Lots of hobbies and activities are too expensive. Some kids grow up in towns or villages with nothing around for miles. This isn’t the 1940s, they’re not going to suddenly revert to skipping around in fields making daisy chains for fun. It is going to be sad and downright difficult for them.

Don’t laugh but we used to read books or go out to play with our friends. I know!!

Yeah, teens around here loved hanging out at the library. Damn Tories.

No your not unreasonable.

I do hope that people won't be complaining about 'feral' teenagers 'hanging about' in the park or wherever - if they end up having their current major pastime taken away from them.

I certainly did (and still do!).

Why the need to ‘do’ anything? They can chat to each other, watch telly (way more channels than when I was a teen), listen to music, read a book or trashy magazine, go to the park, hang around with friends, skateboard, do homework, surf the internet…

Oh you know all the things us dinosaurs had to do at their age.

Walking, we used to walk for miles
Riding our bikes
roller skates
Bouncing on the trampoline

no winded we were slim & fit!! 🤣

sunbathing on the trampoline 🤣
reading
listening to music
baking
actuslky spending time with friends cards/other games.

i wont mention boyfriends & less wholesome distractions 🤣

I think some people are a bit blinkered about the good old days. We used to know the TV schedule almost off by heart as teens because that's what we would do in the evenings as school as someone who grew up rurally with no friends nearby and judging by the talk about the Simpsons or whatever was on TV the night before at school the next day so did everyone else.

Indeed - and teenagers are traditionally not amongst the tech-savviest group in society, are they......?!

One thing I don't understand, though, is that, when we got our DS his first phone, we paid for it (and do for his monthly plan). It asked for an email address and other details that he didn't yet have, so I just treated it that - not unreasonably imho - it was my phone, albeit one that I let him use; thus I set it up with my details.

I don't know if this can be changed once you've set it up and confirmed your birth date (I don't think you can with WhatsApp) - so if it just rolls over and he's still using that number and everything connected when he's 80, it will think that he's 115!!

It could be like the case of Jeanne Calment - the French woman who famously lived into her 120s - and there were allegations that her DD may have assumed her mother's identity to keep cashing in on her pension indefinitely!

You do realise SM has only been a thing for 20 ish years. Not since the 1940s

Not daft at all. The liklihood is yes. As theres talk of it being similar to age verification for adult content, which is stupidly easy to get past with a free vpn on your phone. So not sure it's going to change all that much tbh.

There are lots of things for young girls to do. I think parents and teens often find it too easy to say “there’s nothing to do”. It’s simply not true.

There a lots of sports clubs around; there are many more girls teams now than when I was a teen. Take cricket and football for example. There is a huge push to get more girls involved. We have several local teams who do girls only sessions, or girls are welcome to join with the boys. The cost is often zero, or minimal. It’s often hard to persuade them to get involved though because they are allowed to become obsessed with their phones instead.

There are church youth groups.

We still have libraries where books can be borrowed for free.

There is the option of meeting up with friends to walk around and talk, go to a park, or go to a local shopping area. All things we did as teens.

There are cadets and Duke of Edinburgh programmes. Through this, they get ideas of learning new skills and volunteering. Music lessons are available; there are plenty of programmes offered at minimal or no cost.

Parents and teens who claim there is nothing to do haven’t looked hard enough. They’ve taken the easiest route of giving into phones and social media.

The teens in my family have been supported & encouraged in hobbies and it makes a massive difference to their screen use. They aren't on their phones all the time as they are too busy playing sport, doing music & dance etc. And they have friends through this so enjoy meeting friends etc.

The teens I know who spend most time on screens don't seem to have any developed hobbies and count "gaming" as a hobby.

DH and I also try and model doing other stuff, the kids see us out doing sport/music/meeting friends and we don't allow phones at meal times etc.

As a teen I never went to a library (to spend time, just choose a few books), community centre or youth clubs.

We had houses. Parks in the summer (no not to drink cider & lurk on the little kids equipment) we went bike riding, walking...

My DS's secondary school doesn't even have a library. I get the impression that so many schools and facilities for young people have been based around the assumption of them having ready access to phones and the Internet... and now they're trying to take them away without maybe considering all of the ramifications.

Even before the government-level ban, the school had decided to ban all mobiles on the premises - and apparently hadn't even stopped to realise that they are an essential lifeline for kids with diabetes and other disabilities and serious health conditions.

I do think that, if this is enforced strictly and young people are effectively severed from modern technology, in a few years, there will be alarm and cries about a widespread lack of technical skills amongst young adults - especially compared with people of the same generation in China and other countries.

The addiction of both adults and children to their phones makes me feel like a carnivore in a land where gruel is he native dish.

There is plenty to do, and plenty of minimal or low cost activities if people would only look for those opportunities. The “but there’s nothing to do” excuse is a lazy one.