AIBU to find a girl's comment about social media quite sad

[FelicityShagsWell]

I just heard the story on the radio about Kier Starmer wanting to tighten up access to social media for under 16s. A few sound bites from some children followed. One girl said it's unfair because there's nothing else to do. Am I unreasonable to find that utterly sad?

They have banned youths from lots of shopping centres etc though, so she has a point. Unless the opening youth clubs, skater parks etc and putting stuff on in parallel, she does have quite an important point. Also more after school sports for all kids. The Government constantly underfunds schools, so where are these kids going to go and what are they going to do instead.

I know. I'm 57, not getting any younger, but a child of the 70's/teenager in the 80's not that long ago really. Even my mum was only a very small child in the 1940's

🤣🤣.

If parents had parented properly, much of this would never have been an issue in the first place.

So many parents are wailing about how addicted their kids are to their phones and how they're on them for 10 hours a day, and there's nothing rhey can do unless the government start banning things... what a shame that none of these young people have responsible adults living with them who could maybe guide them, supervised them and set firm boundaries for them to follow for their own good, eh?

I agree with this. Encouraging hobbies and keeping kids busy is the easiest way to keep them off social media. If they are busy at school, with homework, sport, music, dance, etc then they don’t have time for much social media. They are with friends doing those activities who also don’t then have much time for social media, which means that social media doesn’t really become a thing in their peer group.

There are absolutely loads of things for young people to do.

What i think is tricky though is if you do sod all when kids are younger, let them drop everything they try, or quit the moment there's an exam or competition to work for.... and then magically want them to be able to join a sports team or music hobby at 14.

Most groups are keen to take new participants but a teenager who wants to take up a sport, dance or music late isn't going to be able to slot in with peers the same age because they will be miles behind skills wise.

I agree with this. You have to form good habits when they are younger. It makes the teen years much easier!

It'll be like that photo that keeps doing the rounds, of the random gate standing in a field with clear open grass all around it - and the comparisons with it asking you to confirm that you have a TV licence before you can access iPlayer!

It is sad. But it also shows that there can't just be a ban. An entire generation literally need to be taught how to socialise, how to be bored, how to combat boredom through creativity. I hope this leads to the creation of lots of local groups that prompt children and teens to become engaged with nature, craft, reading, skill-building, sports, arts, music, drama.

People are talking about all these activities that teens can do instead yet there are threads on here most days about how people can’t trust their teens to catch a bus or even cook pasta or go on a bike ride without adult supervision or being tracked - so really, if social media is banned, are these kids actually going to do any of this stuff or are they just going to sit at home and text and watch TV?

To be fair, you don't know the reason people are on their phones, considering how many things are online now emails etc.

For instance I was reading a message the other day from my Mum to say that my Dad who was on end of life care, was nearing the end. I wouldn't appreciate being judged in that situation.

In Australia VPN usage sky rocketed in the immediate few weeks after the ban. But then… declined. Too much hassle, peers no longer as engaged etc.

Well time for her to learn how to amuse herself. Books still exist, paper and pencils exist, dancing exists.

Yes but it gives parents a good reason to be able to say no. ‘I don’t care if little Laura uses a VPN for TikTok it’s illegal so you can’t.’

Kids can’t really argue with that.

There’s more to do even at home than screens fgs.

She’s not wrong though is she what else is there for them to do?

Social media has existed for a nano second in the context of all human life. They'll get over it and find sources of other entertainment just like everyone else for the entire history of humanity has.

Our kids are a different breed but that's our fault and it's up to us to get off our lazy backsides put our own phones down and go through the pain & frustration of teaching these poor kids how to exist outside of the digital world.

Sure but how many teens are actually going to do those things?

Exactly, wish it was around when my late teen was nagging my head off wanting FB etc!

I agree. DS2 is autistic and struggled socially. he hated all forms of clubs and societies, and just went to one music group which he frequently asked to not go to, even though he loved playing his instrument. He just hated having to leave the house. I refused and said he had to do this or something else once a week so he stuck with it. He's now a really excellent musician and plays in a big band which is the basis of his very lively social life as an adult.

As parents, we have to be willing to say 'No, you have to stick at this – I know you'll be glad later on,' while maintaining a balance so we don't push them too hard or over-schedule them.

I read - my teens read and have othe hobbies but I do think you have a point.

I remember some program I think it was some surbubs of London the richer more affluent family with teens were like there is loads to do - few miles low income family similar aged kids complaining there was nothing to do. I supect the barriers were money. Showed same area different resources very different experiences.

I also think world is more hostile to teens just hanging out. We used to live centrally in a city in our 20s and there was an orsctestra and private school and teen kids midday saturday would be in plazza just hanging out after activities Every time my FIL saw them he's insist something was kicking off and trouble was brewing - there was never any bother but we were never listen to.

Our own teens decades later have sometimes enocunted hostility when a larger group was just hanging out - not causing trouble - just meeting up some where they don't have to spend money -and it's made very hard.

Yep - take them out for hikes, cycle rides. Teach them to cook, knit, sew, whittle wood, build stuff, mend bikes and other mechanical things, play instruments, sing, write songs, poems, stories, paint and draw, make cartoon strips, put on plays. Show them safe routes to walk or use public transport to reach the swimming baths or cinema, library or skating rink, and how to get back safely (if they are within reachable distance.) A whole generation - maybe two, have been taught they cannot cope with discomfort, boredom, mild danger, insecurity, brief spells of anxiety, problems that need solving. We need to remedy that. I was guilty of it in some ways and when I realised, I had to backtrack, hard.

Load of nonsense, as well - there are more things to do than when we were kids!

All of them when they’re not allowed to be online zombies and have to amuse themselves.God some people really have 0 belief in young people.

Do parents nowadays really find themselves unable to make and enforce rules and restrictions for their kids without the government actually making it illegal?

Is it like the old trick that some parents play with their little kids in 'calling the policeman to tell you off for being naughty' - when the 'policeman' on the other end of the phone just happens to sound uncannily like Uncle Kevin?

Is "I am your parent and I say No" not a thing anymore?

Shes right and it is sad. I had a job at that age, most of my friends did, so we went shopping, cinema, out for food, just out walking/chatting etc.

Now when teens congregate a busy body puts a post on FB, they are followed around, barely any jobs for them so less chances to do things as parents are struggling to pay for them to go out.....

Of course I don't know why people are on their phones.

But it doesn't explain the necessity for walking down the street focused on the phone. It's a danger to the phone user and a danger to other people.