I’ve been accused of stealing £20

[letmeletgo]

I babysat for a family member at the weekend. One of the kids had to go to an extracurricular and there was £100 on the side for tickets to a show - I was asked to hand it over to the child’s lift.

I did, went about my day. The tickets weren’t available for purchase and I was handed back the cash. I put it back on the side for said family member and that was the end of it.

It’s now come about that £20 of the cash is missing. I’ve received a message to ask if I know anything about it because they think it’s quite suspicious that I got a takeaway while babysitting and now £20 is missing. I paid for the takeaway by card and showed them that, it seems to have quieted them down a little but it’s really annoyed me. I’m not a thief. Never have been, never would be.

AIBU to say if they have that little trust in me, I’ll not babysit again?

This - they sound like they were checking rather than accusing but should have at least bought you a takeaway for babysitting!

They absolutely could have. My DP had a 6 year old that takes cash from his room if they see it lying about.

“I’ve received a message to ask if I know anything about it because they think it’s quite suspicious that I got a takeaway while babysitting and now £20 is missing. ”

How is this not an accusation? Pray tell.

Exactly. If they don’t trust the OP not to steal them they need to look for another babysitter.

Gosh that’s a horrible thing to be asked. Supposed they had to check with you before asking the other person. I certainly wouldn’t babysit for them again. They don’t think much of you do they?

I don’t think they accused you as such. From the words they used, they just asked you. They might have been thinking “if she used it for her takeaway, then fair enough, but if she didn’t, then we need to find out where it’s gone”.

Buy mainly, why aren’t they paying you to babysit?

You were entrusted to hand over the money and to take it back again when it was returned. YABU not to check the returned money and so have proved yourself not to be very responsible. I think it would have been fair enough for them to ask about the money eg if they had said 'there's only £80 did x definitely return it all' but to ask if you spent it on takeaway is pretty rude and I would be pissed off about that.

How did she do you a massive favour?

And why would you count the cash before handing it over but not count it when you get it back?

Because your quote is the ops summary of what was said with her belief of the intent behind it.

in a later post she gives the exact wording. Where they literally ask her if she used £20 for a takeaway.
That's what I based my response on.

This. It's common practise to count cash when someone's asked you to buy somthing. I always double check it's the right amount they said ( infront of them ) and I'd oglf given the cash directly back to someone or put it in a draw / counted it before I left it

They haven't accused you. They are ascertaining the facts before speaking to other parent. No where did they say you should not have used 20 for take away.

Maybe they are questioning their 5 year old too. However, I would not be baby sitting for free people who did not feed me.

I would’ve had to take the child to the club if she didn’t, with the two year old in tow

I didn’t count it at all! I was told it was £100 so I assumed it was, I never thought to count it

*They haven't accused you of stealing it.“

'Did you use it for your takeaway?'

How else would you read that?

Occam's Razor says the family member is mistaken and it was £80 to begin with.
If I were them I'd assume that, rather than ask family doing some free babysitting about it.

I just know I’d never babysit, housesit, petsit for them again.

I think they mean they would let it slide if their own kids had been looked after for free but somehow £20 had gone missing - essentially an evening's babysitting would have cost £20. Weighing up on the one hand, they hadn't agreed it in advance and aren't sure the babysitter had the benefit of the money, on the other hand they may have miscounted right at the start so there isn't even any money missing and they are going to offend their free babysitter by asking if they took the money.

i wasn’t asked to buy anything. Just to take the cash from the side and hand it over.

You’re not in the least unreasonable. I would lose my shit at the parents and make it very clear I would not be providing free babysitting again for people who think I’m a thief.

Are they accusing you or just asking you, as I think there’s a big difference.

If you didn’t use it then they’d obviously need to ask the DCs about it.

Bearing in mind the circumstance you describe you seem to be the only one who could’ve stolen it so I don’t blame them asking.

imagine the reverse my friend was babysitting now £20 has gone missing- everyone would be telling you to aak her

Also TBH if you were babysitting for free, they should have offered you a takeaway

Def accusation!
@letmeletgo It's disgusting to accuse you. And they are CF not even offering to pay for your dinner when you are babysitting for FREE. I would never ever do it again and I would let them know why. Next time when they have to pay a baby-sitter they will regret being so rude.

This is exactly how I read it.

They know OP had the money and was responsible for handing it over to the other parent etc and she would obviously be the first person to ask about it.

If they had accused her, they would have asked her if she used it on takeaway they would just assume she did and tell her she must have stolen it.

The poster means the parents of the children should have let this slide given that the OP has babysat for free and the other parent has given a lift - I would definitely have let this slide because the downside of investigating is worth less (particularly with a free babysitter/family member) than £20 to me.

Yeah not all the other people who could’ve handled it?!

It doesn’t sound like they are accusing you to me, more that they’re trying to find where it’s disappeared to. Maybe the parent only gave you £80 back but they don't want to ask her first without checking with you. Don’t be quick to take offence - they’ve really not said “Oi letmeletgo what have you done with £20” they’re just checking that it didn’t get used and forgotten about, unless of course there’s a history of you being accused of all sorts by them, in which case never darken their door again!
Agree it’s a bit mean to expect you to give up your evening and pay for your own takeaway.