I’ve been accused of stealing £20

[letmeletgo]

I babysat for a family member at the weekend. One of the kids had to go to an extracurricular and there was £100 on the side for tickets to a show - I was asked to hand it over to the child’s lift.

I did, went about my day. The tickets weren’t available for purchase and I was handed back the cash. I put it back on the side for said family member and that was the end of it.

It’s now come about that £20 of the cash is missing. I’ve received a message to ask if I know anything about it because they think it’s quite suspicious that I got a takeaway while babysitting and now £20 is missing. I paid for the takeaway by card and showed them that, it seems to have quieted them down a little but it’s really annoyed me. I’m not a thief. Never have been, never would be.

AIBU to say if they have that little trust in me, I’ll not babysit again?

They haven't accused you of stealing. Your update with exact wording suggests they are just trying to work out where it's gone. It's not an accusation. No hint that they would even mind if you did use it to buy a takeaway. They are probably wondering about the person who gave the lift but hoping there's a simple/less awkward answer.

Why do you think the OP was the "only one" who could have stolen it?
It could have been the person who she handed it over to and who brought it back.
It could have been a mistake in their counting ,it could have been lost or stolen enroute and handled by others after it had been handed over by the OP.

😂😂
I've received my 1st 'give your head a wobble'

Ffs... Only on MN is it considered rude to count cash when handing it over/ receiving it!!

OP's inability to negotiate faur payment for her babysitting or a takeaway is neither here nor there!

OP accepted the additional task of passing the cash on so it isn't unreasonable she would check the amount she agreed to be responsible for.

Presumabky the £100 was in notes and it would take a few seconds to check it was all there?! Fully expecting to be told it was £100 in bags of mixed coins next!

So 13 hours of free babysitting and you had to get your own food!!! Sod that for a game of soldiers!!

they sent a one liner. just clarifying, presumably before interrogating their kids. Nothing more nothing less

They're not people I would want anything further to do with.

Strange carry on.
Money left on the side for the person providing a lift. They take the child off.
Money then left on the side. As no tickets available ? Did nobody check before. How odd. Hopefully there were other children you were babysitting for, given this one had left the house.
Why on earth did you not give it directly to the parents when they turned up ? Which would have been the obvious thing to do.

They are disgusting.
Not sure what relationship they are to you but make sure other people get to know about this so they can avoid helping them too and protect themselves.

i understand why you feel upset and that its a liability for you to babysit for them.
I understand why you feel accused and not trusted .
If i had been in your family members position,i would have chalked this discrepancy down to experience because there are many reasons why the £20 was missing, human error, loss in transit or stolen by multiple people .
I wouldn't have acussed you ,i disagree with those saying it wasnt as they asked you about your takeaway purchase.
It up to you if you want to help out by free babysitting for family who dont trust you over £20.I wouldnt.
You could discuss it with them and say you feel upset they doubted you.
You could say you dont feel able to babysit for fear of further acussations and because they clearly dont trust you.
You could just be unavailable and let them work out why....

I think I agree with this.

But if I were the family, I would have picked up the phone and had the conversation with OP as well, if I really felt I must. And I would have led with a question about the other family, not the person who'd been babysitting for me for 13 hours unpaid.

I mean - I think you'd have to just write it off and make a mental note only to agree to transfer funds.

Well that's slightly different than accusing you of stealing it.

they asked, you says no, end of story.

Did you count it before handing it over or when you were given it back? I'd naturally do both. .

If Op had taken £20 for a takeaway isn't it likely that she would have said straight away when the parents returned?

I think they are a pair of fuckers, but I didn't read their actual message as an accusation.

The OP has drip fed a lot of additional information.

I would never have a babysitter that I paid there over that period without having left dinner and treats, imagine treating an UNPAID babysitter like this.

Years ago in the 50s my Mother used to clean for a family. The family had older children and money was stolen from my Mother's purse, she was sure the children/children had taken it. Mum left the job immediately without notice and wisely so in my opinion as Mum felt that if the children were light fingered they would soon be stealing from their own parents and she'd get the blame. Never ever babysit for them again.

This. What a load of CFs

Because she's written it like tgst, but it's not what they actually said.

I think saying £20 gone missing have you used it asking if you have stolen it.
Because if you had taken it for your takeaway that would be theft.
If someone asks if you have stolen something even in a "one liner" that feels acussatory to me and clearly to the OP.
i think when you do a kindness eg: free babysitting and you are asked if youve taken money thats bound to sting. Its a repudiation of trust.

OP they are taking the piss that they didn’t pay you? Thinking you will do all of that for free, until 1am!! Then had the audacity to accuse of taking £20!

I bet it’s a miscount when the money was first left. Wild they’d accuse you.

At the very minimum they should have paid for your takeaway … what a piss take! I would never babysit for them again!
Likely the person you gave it to lost it … they should have put it in an envelope!

Just because she did, doesn't mean she was asked to/had to.

You honestly think there’s zero responsibility on the two parents in all of this? 😳
The parents who have enjoyed 13hrs of zero responsibility for their own children.

Was their night out free? Did they consume food and drink on their night out for free too?

It’s pretty obvious that OP is unfortunately related to these odious freeloaders. Probably a sibling.
If it was a normal babysitting service, the parents would have factored in her fee before choosing to have a night out.

What sort of person expects their own family to give up hours of their time to babysit their kids and then accuses them of stealing money to feed themselves because they’re too tight to pay them.

I tell you who does that…a pair of freeloading entitled Cheeky Fuckers!

Hmm. Let me guess. 🤔 Are you one of those mnetters who uses grandparents to do unpaid childcare too?

They aren’t outright accusing her, but they are certainly insinuating something by mentioning the takeaway!

Oh please … who doesn’t use grandparents for unpaid childcare, get a grip!