I’ve been accused of stealing £20

[letmeletgo]

I babysat for a family member at the weekend. One of the kids had to go to an extracurricular and there was £100 on the side for tickets to a show - I was asked to hand it over to the child’s lift.

I did, went about my day. The tickets weren’t available for purchase and I was handed back the cash. I put it back on the side for said family member and that was the end of it.

It’s now come about that £20 of the cash is missing. I’ve received a message to ask if I know anything about it because they think it’s quite suspicious that I got a takeaway while babysitting and now £20 is missing. I paid for the takeaway by card and showed them that, it seems to have quieted them down a little but it’s really annoyed me. I’m not a thief. Never have been, never would be.

AIBU to say if they have that little trust in me, I’ll not babysit again?

I would speak to the family members and tell them you are disappointed that they think so little of you that they are accusing you of either theft or using the money to buy food when you have babysat for them (presumably more than once) for free for thirteen hours including cooking and childcare. I would express my disappointment and say that in light of how this has made you feel that trust is now gone on both sides and going forward you will not be babysitting again. Anything could have happened to that money and they were stupid to leave a wad of cash and not put it in an envelope. The poor harassed mum who took it from you may well have dropped it in the car gathered up what she saw and assumed it was all of it. You should not have been treated like this when doing then such a huge favour.

I can categorically say I did not drop any cash when picking it up from the side board, taking ten steps, and handing it to the mother.

@letmeletgo - what will you do if they ask you to babysit again?

That's awful. Presumably you'll never help them out again.

Handling someone else's cash that's being left in communal areas in other people's houses and being expected to ferry said cash from one person to another and then take it back again and leave it out...yeah, what could possibly go wrong?

Have these people not heard of bank transfers?

They asked you about the £20 because they now can confidently presume it’s one of their children.

Although now for the drip about how this person is generally horrendous and has treated you like crap all your life?

But this isn't an accusation, it's a question. They could have also asked if you'd counted the money when it was given back to you.

Goodness knows they should have paid for a takeaway though if they weren't paying you.

You’ve done nothing wrong. Why some posters think you need to have handled this money in a safer or more responsible way than the people now claiming it is missing is beyond me.

You're like a dog with a bone...

I would have read it as a question not an accusation too. Although this is a general life lesson, whenever anyone gives you cash you count it. This is not generally seen as rude, it just means that you can resolve any thing that's gone wrong as soon as possible.

I bet they find it and I bloody hope they apologise profusely for accusing you of using their money for your takeaway.
They should have offered you money regardless, a 13 hour babysitting stint would have cost them ££££££ if they had used an agency.

Why are you being such an arse?

Yeah I truly don’t understand why I should’ve counted it? I trust the person handing it to me!

Eugh it's the rudeness of it that is the real frustration isn't it? I once had an argument (many years ago before shoplifting was as rife as it is now) with a shop assistant in a supermarket who accused me of shoplifting a 15p loaf of bread which I paid for separately due to it being a personal purchase versus a work one for the rest of the shopping. She stood behind me and watched me scan the bread and pay, then scan the other shopping and pay. Yet she still came over, snatched the bag from my hands and said 'you've stolen that bread!' Had she asked politely - excuse me, I didn't see you scan the bread, can I just check you've paid for it? - fine. Same in your example, if they'd said sorry OP but we've misplaced £20 of the £100, any chance you picked it up or borrowed it for your takeaway? You'd probably feel very differently.

Everyone fixating on you counting the money or not, it’s not up to OP to do that! Maybe some people would’ve done that naturally, but that’s absolutely not her responsibility to take on board. Also, they could’ve asked the question a lot more politely than accusing you of using it for a takeaway!

When you count money, it's for your own peace of mind, not someone else's.

When I pay someone in cash, I ask them to count it themselves so that there's no misunderstanding later.

Id probably message them……but then I’m a petty bitch

Dear CFs
As I have said repeatedly, I did not steal your money. I hope it turns up at some point.
However, your free babysitter will not be turning up again

Should they ask you to babysit again, OP, just tell them to go fuck themselves. They treated you abysmally.

“Repeatedly”?

once

Yeah so they should have bought you the takeaway anyway as you were doing them a favour. I definitely wouldn’t be babysitting for them again after that!!

Anyone saying you should have counted it are reaching! I am late 30s and wouldn't have counted it either.

Your family member should have said 'hi letmeletgo, thanks again for minding the kids on Saturday you are a star! There is £20 missing from the show money, before I search the whole house just checking if you think it could have fallen anywhere?'

Also they absolutely should have left you money for a take away. I have very rarely had need of a baby sitter but always leave money for a take away and lots of nice things to nibble on.

Good for you, but that doesn't change what happened in OP's situation.

You did nothing wrong! Never babysit for these cheeky fuckers again

Why would it change what happened to OP? No one can turn back time.

I don't think you should have counted it, but saying you trust the person that gave it you back is just ridiculous.. that £20 has gone somewhere, and unless it wasn't £100 when you gave it out (possible), the money has gone missing on her watch.. so you are wrong to have trusted her.

Many things could have happened, I assume the mum took it to the activity, couldn't use it to buy tickets so then bought it back, but was it dropped somewhere in between, was it chucked in the car then mislaid, left somewhere unattended during the activity, where there were other parents, other adults and other kids around, or she could have took it herself.

They asked you if you used it for a takeaway as the money has gone while you were responsible for it, were you supposed to use it to buy the tickets yourself?.. you've given the job to someone else and now £20 has gone?

Did they know you got someone else to get the tickets?

YANBU - you were doing them a huge favour for free! They could get to fuck with me after that.