I’ve been accused of stealing £20

[letmeletgo]

I babysat for a family member at the weekend. One of the kids had to go to an extracurricular and there was £100 on the side for tickets to a show - I was asked to hand it over to the child’s lift.

I did, went about my day. The tickets weren’t available for purchase and I was handed back the cash. I put it back on the side for said family member and that was the end of it.

It’s now come about that £20 of the cash is missing. I’ve received a message to ask if I know anything about it because they think it’s quite suspicious that I got a takeaway while babysitting and now £20 is missing. I paid for the takeaway by card and showed them that, it seems to have quieted them down a little but it’s really annoyed me. I’m not a thief. Never have been, never would be.

AIBU to say if they have that little trust in me, I’ll not babysit again?

It is money. And someone leaves cash, it gets returned, but needs returning to the person who left it. I would return to them directly. If not sealed in an envelope I would have counted it.

And like I’ve said it would’ve never occurred to me. I’m late 20s and genuinely the last time I handled cash was my 11th birthday.

I cannot help you there.

Did you check the full amount was given back to you. I wouldn't babysit again or even go in their house.

Did they not leave you food or anything? I’d be at the very least leaving money for a takeaway and nice nibbles if someone was looking after my kids for 13 hours. Anyway if someone had texted me that I’d have said no I didn’t , are you actually accusing me of taking it or have you just worded this badly? It’s the problem with texting things were sometimes clearer and easier when people actually spoke on the phone .

The 5 year old might well have taken it. I babysat for a family years ago and their 6 year old was in trouble for doing something similar.

She was babysitting two little kids for 13 hours and on top of that should have been counting money that she was made responsible for? It’s 20 quid not 2000 I’d have just left it if I’d have been the kids’ parents

Yeah, that's not an accusation, that's a question.

They obviously don't think you would take it otherwise they would have put it in a sealed envelope.

True I took s tenner my mum had left out when I was little. I was playing with it and put it in dressing gown pocket .

Food was left for the kids, which I had to cook.

You never use cash so it doesn't occur to you to count it?

I would have thought that would have made you more careful about counting it.

I mean they might not have actually been accusing you but I wouldn’t be doing babysitting again. They didn’t even leave you food

Honestly they sound like massive piss takers. That’s a long time to babysit two small children and they didn’t even think to leave you something to eat. It’s their problem now as I doubt there will be many people willing to babysit for free for that length of time
when they have a track record of accusing people of taking money.

I think you should say something to clear the air.

I'd probably write them a message saying:

Did you resolve the missing £20? I didn't count the money when handing it over, or when getting it back. It never occurred to me to, as this was an agreement between you and your friend.

But I am very upset that you could accuse me of helping myself to it, to buy my takeaway, and that I had to show you my card transaction to prove my innocence. I babysat for you - for free. A professional babysitter would have charged you around £150 to care for two pre-school children for 13 hours, until after midnight. It shocks me that you could even for a moment think that I am the kind of person who would help herself to someone else's cash.

I'd leave it at that. If they are half decent people, they will apologise and send you a generous gift to thank you for your time.

But never - ever - babysit for them again. If they have the cheek to ask, say you are not available.

I genuinely have not used it in near on two decades. It would never occur to me to second guess someone who’s handing me money, or to assume that the person handing it back is lying!

Up to you. It doesn’t take long to check £100 is what is there.

The problem is though you have no way knowing that you didn't drop the £20 note somewhere.

It is. You would phrase it "we hope you used it for a takeaway" to avoid any inference it was taken without permission. Then the reply is no i didn't and I didn't use it at all and then they have the answer without offence. OP is showing an Amish level of self sacrifice tbh, and the parents' entitlement is off the wall.

Firstly, it was £10 notes.

Secondly, it went like this, seeing as people are so determined to paint me as a thief:

I was told to hand the £100 over. At that point it was on the side in a pile.

I picked it up and handed it over to the mother who was expecting it.

Activity happens.

She came back, handed me the pile of cash, which I then placed back on the side. I then took the children out into the pool for the rest of the afternoon, before dinner and bath time.

So you babysat from midday till 1am for free with no money offered even for food?
Never baby sit for the free loading piss takers ever again.

What I think people aren’t grasping is that I had literally no reason to question it? She said it was £100, so I believed it was £100

Whether it's £10 or £20 notes, if you don't count them, you can't definitively say you didn't lose a note or two.

And saying you may have dropped a note is not painting you as a thief. I've dropped cash a few times, it didn't make me a thief.

I can’t believe they asked you tbh, unless it was a “Did you use some of the cash to pay for the takeaway”, you say no they reply “how much do we owe you for it”.

🤬

@letmeletgo - I think these people are arseholes for expecting you to babysit for 2 young DCs from noon to 1 am (13 hours!!!) for free (pretty shocking in itself) and not even providing you with food and refreshments. And I agree the reference to you buying a takeaway does sound accusatory. They sound quite unpleasant - selfish, stingey and entitled. If the notes were left in a pile and you just picked them up, for all you know it was never £100 but was only ever £80. I think it was natural for you not to count the money when it was returned to you because that looks like you disbelieve the person who has returned the money to you. I think you're being reasonable and they have behaved really badly.

I think we all agree that the OP should have counted the cash. She didn't and unless she has a time machine that is not going to change. So I don't think we need another 100 people telling her. Even if she had dropped two notes (unlikely) they would have been found. The point is that the OP babysat all day for nothing and paid for her own takeaway. They are actually bloody rude to accuse her of stealing from them OP I would not be babysitting for them any more as they clearly don't trust you.