To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

Not as rude as stealing snacks from their kitchen and earing it in secret. Just ask. If you're good enough friends to give a shit about seeing their house (driving hours with snacks to do so), you should be able to ask for a biscuit or crisps.

I would normally offer a cake but they might have thought you were just popping in for ten minutes, in fact if someone was popping in I would just offer a drink.

It’s become performative mumsnetting for many posters to demonstrate how miserly, ill-mannered, weird and miserable they can be.

They think it’s a sign of class. The irony.

I am a feeder, so you would have been offered a lunch. I always offer at least a biscuit, even if its a friend having a chat and cuppa for half an hour. My mother was the kindest and most generous person i ever met and she raised me right. I remember the pregnancy hunger, poor you - i had an insatiable appetite - so i feel for you.😆

You wouldn’t drive 1.5 hours to pop in

Some people are like this, I hate it. Incapable of empathy and they're not hungry so no food offered. And you can't even say look can we have a wine Jesus when pregnant.

Well they offered a drink.

I know that people on MN don’t necessarily understand this but different people have different social rules/customs.

I would not expect to be offered food unless I was there for a meal. I wouldn’t ask for food either.

The OP’s circumstances are for her to manage (without stealing food to eat in the toilet hopefully). Refusing to go for a meal after was just petulance.

You'e not being unreasonable, OP. It's nothing to do with you feeling hungry/nauseous - that's irrelevant. It's just a failure of hosting not to offer at least a biscuit to people who're in your home for several hours.

I'm not seriously suggesting that the hosts' nationalities are really the point here, but from what I know of Americans, I'm very surprised you didn't get anything. They're usually over generous with hospitality. Scandinavians now, I tend to imagine they're more dour, health-conscious and Presbyterian about snacking!!!

Perhaps people should message their hosts in advance with a list of requirements so there’s no misunderstanding

We don’t need to. The norm is to offer something nice with tea. Especially after a long drive!!!!!

It wouldn't occur to me! . I dont buy biscuits generally, what am I meant to give them?

Yes, stealing food when you have your own in the car and sitting on a toilet to eat it, is hardly classy 🤮

It’s very easy to understand the concept of hospitality.

Even unexpected guests are offered a drink round here. Invited guests would be offered savoury and sweet snacks too.

If someone travels any sort of distance to see someone, it’s stingy not to offer a snack. That said meeting “in the early afternoon” is a bit of a weird time. Perhaps they’d just had lunch and assumed you’d have done similar (forgetting how long the journey is). Still, I would always offer some biscuits and cake as it’s just polite.

It’s about consideration for others. Not staying comfy in your own habits, with blinkers on.

Shaming her for being at her wits end, is mean.

A hard stare obviously as you clutch your throat at the impertinence of the very idea.

That’s the spirit

Two things. YANBU.... If you invite someone around you at least offer a biccy/slice of cake with the cup of tea. But also did you not take anything to this "housewarming"?

Exactly this. You’re showing appreciation and to some extent reciprocation of the effort on the part of the guest

They’d said to come and spend the afternoon, knowing the drive was long and that the OP was pregnant.

She did. She took wine, chocolates and a plant.

She wasn't at her wits end.

She only had to step outside to the car or eat a snack in the car before entering the house.

No excuse for stealing food here.

I have to say if someone comes to my house for a couple of hours mid afternoon I don’t expect to feed them, and if I go to someone else’s for the same I take a pack of fancy biscuits or cakes for us all to share whilst I’m there - I would only expect a drink from them. In your situation you could definitely have said that you were feeling a bit sick due to being pregnant, could you have a snack. I also don’t understand why it would have been awkward if you had seen them in a nearby pub afterwards.