To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

No, it ouow not have occired to me to offer a snack for someone visiting for two hours.

A drink, yes absolutely and IF I had any biscuits in (i don't tend to buy biscuits and cake much) I would have offered one but nothing else.

Imagine saying "I'm just nipping to the car Barbara to grab something, as I feel a bit sick" 🤷‍♂️

Or even "Just grabbing something from the car" and quickly eating it there.

She'd have eaten it in the same time she sat on the toilet eating her friend's food.

Think you’re being a tad dramatic.

If I was hosting I would offer biscuits. However that doesn’t actually fill a hungry person up - I would also not make a lunch for a 2 hour visit either.

Equally if I was pregnant and got nauseous I I didn’t eat for 2 hours I would probably carry my own snacks. I would just say “hope you don’t mind me having a snack. Pregnancy is causing sickness so it helps massively.” They would then go “oh gosh, of course! Can I get you something?!”.

They literally haven’t considered it, that’s all. Could easily have been rectified in the moment.

desperation and starvation

Isn’t this a tad dramatic in a situation where a woman was 4 hours without food, had snacks in the car and pubs near by?

I'd say it was pouring rain, and the wind was howling, hair do destroyed on return. The loo was dry and warm, great place to have a surreptitious snack. 😊

Not at all. Only a desperate and starving person would cadge crackers for a loo time snack.

They didn’t “pop round”. They were invited and the inviters would have known they had a 90min-2 hr journey to get there. That’s what’s rude and thoughtless. You don’t expect someone to make that degree of effort to come and see you without thinking about what that means in practical terms.

I wouldn't expect or provide food for a short visit seems weird to me to think they would. I wouldn't say it's cultural, just differences. We see SIL every weekend are never offered food, multiple coffees but not food. She's been here once and we did have cake but it was my partners birthday.

Or someone food obsessive.

Or someone with an ED.

Or many other reasons.

They don't have to be 'desperate and starving' and if they were, well there's always the snacks they keep in the car.

How does one go from sitting in the car on the journey with snacks, to being 'desperate and starving' as soon as they enter the house?

I think if I was having the need to eat due to pregnancy I would have asked prior about going for lunch together. Plus you had a long journey. I would have brought snacks in my bag if I needed to keep eating. Having children food is a constant conversation and plan around it accordingly as do my friends.

Also no, because any logic has abandoned this thread unfortunately. (It's not exactly like I stuffed my bag with groceries is it? I was feeling nauseous and saw a bag of open half eaten crisps and took 3 - so hang me)
I already elaborated on everything you need to know to draw your conclusions...
There is clearly a variety of standards and backgrounds on this thread which is fine.

Methinks you doth protest too much. I'm enjoying the ridiculous excuses and strategies enormously, have you any more? 🙄

There's a lot of drama in how all this is phrased. As you are pregnant, I think it would have been fine to ask for a snack. It might've just slipped their minds.

If people are coming to mine between meal times, then biscuits and cakes are offered to tide us all over. Better for visitors not to want them and refuse, rather than leave early due to hunger!

YANBU- they were rude and thoughtless

I always offer something to visitors even if they don’t live far away. For a pregnant visitor I would definitely ask if they were hungry. I usually bake a cake for an afternoon visitor as I enjoy baking but there would always be biscuits at the least!

Not as many as the OP who apparently couldn't even eat on the way home.

But 'desperate and starving' definitely wins the thread 🤣

OP you are completely correct. You haven't popped into your next door neighbour for a couple of hours (although even then, you should be offered a biscuit with your cup of tea/coffee). You have made a long trip especially to see them and the flip side of the coin is that they provide refreshments, not just a cup of tea. I would have done dainty sandwiches, crisps and at least two types of cake for someone visiting from two hours away during the afternoon. Surely it's basic courtesy.
I just don't get some of the comments here. Context is everything. It's not about going two hours "without food". They had INVITED you and you didn't live just around the corner
I wonder if some cultures are just completely the reverse and go to SO much trouble for guests and provide LOTS of food. I know we do in our family!

As a general rule I don't think snacks need to be offered during a two hour visit. We need to move away as a society from the habit of 'grazing' all day. It's more of a friendly, welcoming thing to do than an obligation.

However, if someone is pregnant and might be suffering from nausea or if they're known to be diabetic or to have some other health condition that makes little and often eating better, then it's considerate to offer something.

Im Scottish, you’d have been the talk of the town for not offering at least cake/biscuits. In our parts you’d always have something in the cupboard ready to offer and more likely a full spread if staying for 2 hours.

If you feel a weird sensation tonight, that’s the ghost of my Scottish Granny slapping you

I suspect not offering tea but coffee instead was a cultural thing. They sound a bit blinkered / wrapped up in themselves to be honest.
Normal (British?) social etiquette / manners / kindness is surely to offer at least cake / biscuit - more if a 2 hour journey was involved and a guest is pregnant.
Are they on diets or gluten free or something? I’m guessing they don’t have kids?

I am finding some of these comments defending the hosts bizarre. Not only is it bad manners to not provide visitors with food, one drink / cup of tea in a 2 hour visit is totally unacceptable in my view! was it their idea for you to come after lunch / before tea / dinner? I wouldn't be making that trip again. Doesn't sound much fun.

It's not a moral issue, it just suggests you have issues with food, or with directness. I mean, surreptitiously grabbing crisps from an open bag and eating them on the loo at your friends' house when you could have simply asked for a snack isn't normal behaviour. Nor is refusing, when starving and faint, to eat afterwards at a local pub in case your friends happened to be there too because it would be 'awkward' -- I'm still fascinated by your thought processes around why it would have been 'awkward'.

You know that not everyone has the same hosting rules, right?

It was two hours. Tea was offered and accepted. But at some point the OP has to take responsibility for her own pregnancy needs,

2 hours yes, but they’d also travelled 2 hours. So it was potentially 4 hours they’d not eaten for, so essentially from breakfast to lunchtime.
However, we regularly travel 2 hours to meet family and always have snacks / coffee on the journey. That being said we normally all meet somewhere with food and we are always ready to eat when we arrive even tho we’ve had snacks.
I don’t understand your reasoning behind not going to a pub for food afterwards OP - who cares if you’d bumped into them anyway… you’re entitled to stop off wherever you want for whatever reason you want after you leave theirs?!
Sounds like a strange friendship to me!