To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

I would have put some biscuits out, but how were you starving to the point you felt nauseous and had to rush to a corner shop after 4 hours without food? This sounds a bit dramatic. I’m usually without food for 4+ hours twice per day. Unless my sweet tooth hits, I don’t normally eat between breakfast and lunch, or lunch and dinner.

😆

People who post on AIBU are seeking validation for their generally unreasonable behaviour.

I'd want my friends to tell me what they want or need if I've accidentally not met their needs while they visit. Life would be easier if we could all use words and say how we're feeling rather than expecting everyone to guess. I might occasionally forget to offer food or drink to guests, it's not rude because I'm not doing it on purpose, I am in no way offended if they just ask for some. People please just ask, you're making me paranoid about imperfect hosting which isn't what friendship should be about.

Can I come? I’ll bring my own biscuits.

It’s not the UK. It’s a demographic sub-section of England mostly that lives on MN.

I think you’re correct, if you had visited my family in Scotland, including popping in unannounced, you would have been fed tea, biscuits, sandwiches and probably a wee dram as well, it’s called being a good host 😄

That's how pregnancy nausea works for some of us.

You won't need to, I've always got biscuits and cake.

I'm not pregnant though so feel free to bring wine 😁🍷

I'm English and I would have offered food to guests that I know have driven for a couple of hours to visit.

Also people saying they don't have snacks in the house is irrelevant - if you know people are making the effort to visit then you prepare for it.

You’re one of the good ones!

We get cakes etc for all guests, and they get a meal if they haven’t had anything substantial or it’s near a meal time. Maybe a cultural thing?

So many people are missing the point that whilst this woman was clearly a bad host, the OP has taken no responsibility whatsoever for herself.

She did - she decided to leave.

Do you know that regardless of pregnancy or medical conditions it is actually healthier to eat often and little? I've been like that my whole life, never been on a diet, never been overweight (actually got asked often which diet I follow due to my very slim figure) nor had any medical issues whatsoever (I consider myself very lucky though).
This is not a topic about who can go longer without eating (I certainly would never entertain this, I love food) it is about basic hosting manners when it comes to guests who travelled 3-4 hours round trip just to see you after you insisted 'oh we must spend an afternoon at ours'.

Gosh there’s so many rules. I wouldn’t offer food to someone coming between mealtimes. I don’t eat between mealtimes. Stealing crackers sounds extreme, have you been checked for gestational diabetes?

Exactly. If the OP is pregnant, and she is always hungry (to the point of feeling like she is 'starving' after 2-3 hours with no food,) she should always carry snacks with her. I visit a couple of people who never offer any snacks, despite it often being late morning or lunchtime. One of them even gets her own lunch while I'm there, and doesn't offer me even a biscuit! (I see her on her lunchbreak midday to 1pm, at her house, as she works from home,) and she doesn't offer me anything.

I only see her about 6 times a year, (and if it's at her house - which it is about half the time) I take my own snack. (Usually breakfast biscuits, or a little 3-4 mini pack of biscuits.) I find it odd that she never offers me anything to eat (especially when she's getting herself something,) but apart from this I enjoy seeing her, so I work round it and take something myself. I don't eat much at lunchtime anyway, but an offer of a couple of biscuits would be nice LOL.

‘Little and often’ isn’t good for you though. It promotes insulin resistance. I think you need a blood test op.

I may never have biscuits to offer but I always have wine 🍷

Pregnant or not it’s rude/ bad manners to have people round and no food. I’m due to give birth any day now and I’ve stocked up on biscuits/ cakes etc as I couldn’t imagine having people
round to meet the baby and not offer them tea and a slice of cake!

I would have gone to a pub for dinner, wouldn’t matter if they saw you. I probably would have asked if they had any recommendations before leaving.

As a host it would feel weird not to offer something, and I think most people certainly would offer biscuits or put out crisps and nuts or something like that.

I also don't see the issue with going a few hours without eating. That's pretty normal. I'm quite a greedy person on balance but if I am out for the day and we're not going for lunch, I often won't eat for 4,6 or more hours.

(Pregnancy excluded. When pregnant I had to snack and would take snacks with me).

Apologies if I’ve missed it but has the OP confirmed the exact times they got there and what time they left? If I have guests who come after lunch and go before dinner, I’d not anticipate feeding them.

Completely agree with this.

I don’t keep stuff in specifically for visitors, so if someone dropped in unexpectedly they’d have to put up with whatever I happen to have in - but I’d offer what I have.

For any expected visitors I’d make sure I have in whatever they normally drink and some appropriate snacks if it’s not over a mealtime.

I thought this was just normal. I’m surprised how many people have a different experience.

No she didn't.

Taking responsibility would've been popping some snacks in her bag and eating on the way home.

Not stealing food, eating it on her friend's toilet and then coming out with some weird excuse as to why they can't stop for food on the drive home.

The most surprising thing about this thread to me is that so many people don't understand why op felt sick, when pregnant. On a forum full of mostly women. Genuinely baffling.