To expect a snack when visiting someone's home for a few hours?

[Playdoughy]

Context matters clearly, so I will give some background.
We've been invited to friends' place who live outside of London (90mins car ride) and we agreed to come by over the weekend for a few hours in the early afternoon. The invite was not for an overnight stay but more of a housewarming situation - as in come and see how the place looks like (not for a group of people but just us visiting). They have been living in the flat for 5 months now, I am pregnant so couldn't take a trip during first semester due to sickness - now more up for it.
Anyway we had an early light lunch (luckily) and took off today to arrive after almost a 2 hour drive due to traffic. We had a lovely time chatting and stayed for around 2 hours (I literally had to leave and gave signal to my husband as I was starving to the point of being nauseous).
We got offered a tea upon arrival (drink, not a meal - to avoid any confusion) so I had a cup of tea -no biscuits involved.
I have to admit that on my way to the loo I literally stole a couple of crackers from an open bag sitting on a sideboard near the kitchen and I ate that in the bathroom (yeah...).
After we said goodbyes and went into the car my husband started googling for any nearby pub to have dinner - I advocated against in case they go out later, it would be super awkward if we stumbled upon them. So we grabbed some snacks in an off licence for the car and were on our way.
I mean surely as a host you have some concept of your guests travelling to see you and need to travel back - for us this would be almost 6 hours without a meal and I am pregnant.
I just don't get it. Even a box of digestives would have helped.
Maybe it's a cultural difference thingy, she is american he is scandinavian. Anyway aibu?

No way I go say 3-4 hours without eating something

How do you cope at work?

Surely you go at least 4 hours with no breaks at work so how do you cope?

You were there 2 hours and I wouldn’t think to offer someone food in such a short space of time.
I don’t tend to eat things like biscuits or cakes and so apart from fruit I wouldn’t have many snacks in.
I’d likely only offer to stay for dinner if you were staying longer and have a meal instead of snacks.

Surely if you know you’re someone who has to eat every 3 hours and the journey was 2, why not eat on the journey - that doesn’t make sense.

If you know you need to eat regularly then it’s on you to remember snacks for yourself.
They may have had snacks but it may have been things you don’t like and so you’d still risk being hungry.

What sort of snacks would you be hoping for?

Yabu not to take snacks in your bag and/or for not asking for something. If you are unusually hungry due to pregnancy you need to plan better when you go out. You could have taken a packet of biscuits with you to share. But yes it's not very hospitable of them not to offer something. For a two hour visit food and drink should always be involved.

In the OP's second post she said "Of course we brought something - a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates and a little plant!"

So many miseries on this thread. I don't 'snack'. How dare anyone expect me to think of others? You can practically hear the sniffs of disgust at the word snack, as if a few almonds or biscuits (they can even be homemade if the thought of something ultra processed has you hiding behind the sofa) are responsible for the decline of society.

Yes you are being unreasonable. I don't expect anyone to feed me unless they've invited me for lunch etc. There would have been nothing wrong with going to a local pub for dinner, at all - its not like you said you weren't hungry to avoid eating their dinner! 😂

I can't believe the responses on here. It doesn't matter if someone is in my house for 15 mins or 15 hours, they get offered food. Would have at the very least offered a plate of biscuits with the tea.

The fact that they knew OP would have driven a long time and Is pregnant isn't even relevant to me. I simply cannot imagine having someone in my home and offering them nothing to eat.

Maybe they're just not food obsessed?

To be fair, I don't think I would have expected a snack in the early afternoon either because the people I was visiting would assume, rightly, that I had eaten lunch.

Are the OP's hosts your culture?

Actually, I dont refer to tea as a 'cuppa' either and find it totally cringeworthy- maybe that's the issue here.

They were rude, pregnant or not. In this house you would be offered biscuits and cake by default even if you came from next door.
By the way I don’t think offering biscuits is a particular British thing. I’m not British and always offer biscuits with tea, all my British friends offer tea but not all offer biscuits. I suspect some people eat strictly 3 meals themselves and don’t realize that other people might have a different pattern.

If I invite people round, I always offer a piece of cake or some biscuits with a drink, even if they are only here for an hour or so. I try to have home made cake ready as I do a lot of baking or at least some “ nice “ biscuits, I always have gluten free ones available just in case!

I recently had knee replacement surgery and my sister from the US stayed with me for 2 weeks to help out - she was already over here for my son’s wedding. I made sure I had plenty of home made cake in the freezer for her to have and for the extra visitors we had who wanted to see her.

I don’t even drink tea, vile stuff, but I still offer food to visiting guests. So I doubt that the word you use for tea is ‘the issue here’. You just wanted to demonstrate your perceived superiority over the ‘cringeworthy’ PP.

The fact that we are friends also contributed to me not wanting to stay nearby in a pub - I thought if they stumbled upon us it would be clear to them that we were in fact hungry and that they failed as hosts not offering some finger food at least or suggesting we go for a meal...

Or they may have thought you’d gone for dinner afterwards rather than waiting until you got home. It’s a perfectly normal thing to do. I don’t think for a minute that there would have been some flash of lightning “We have failed as hosts!” moment. I think you were being deliberately stubborn at this stage.

I always offer a hot drink and cake or :biscuits to guests. I think it’s off not to be offered at least a couple of biscuits. I often have a snack w me as I need to be careful what I eat and if I go out I often can’t find a suitable snack so maybe take a small pack of biscuits:crackers with you esp if pregnant

It was a joke since I'm clearly at odds with the majority here.

I hate bad hosts, I will always make sure there’s things in for visitors and probably do a big picky lunch if it’s during the afternoon. Most of my friends are the same but I have one set who hardly ever offer anything when you’re at their house! It does make it annoying to go there.

No you don't. You just need to eat slightly more than normal, ie a slightly larger lunch.

Ah, you wanted to demonstrate your superiority to ‘the majority’ then 😉

Whether you're offered proper food usually depends on whether your visit spans a meal time. If you left after lunch, I'm assuming your visit was 3 until 5, so I would take that as not including any substantial food.
I would have expected biscuits or cake to be offered.
I can't believe you sneaked food and ate it in the toilet though. Thats way ruder and more weird than just saying to your friend "Do you have a biscuit, I feel a bit sick if I don't eat at the moment". Also weird not going to the pub in case you saw them. They sound more like people you're rather nervous of than friends.

if I had invited someone round at ‘afternoon tea’ time and it’s not just a casual stop in, ie a long journey to get there not just casually popping round the corner for a cup of tea, I would have made a cake, or at the very very least have bought a cake, to go with the tea. And with you being pregnant I probably would have asked if that worked / you wanted something else / something savoury etc. I like hosting, and if I’ve invited people around I always want to have actively over-catered, “never knowingly under catered” as it were. I guess not everyone likes hosting or considers these things though! I think the fact you had a very long journey each way is what makes the difference and YANBU, even though the invite wasn’t for a meal, when there’s that amount of travel yes I think more than a cup of tea should be on offer.

If someone was travelling 2hoursto visit me, I’d definitely have a cake or biscuits on standby, however, I think if I was being visited around lunchtime, I’d check with them if they wanted lunch when they arrived.

Crazy. You were there two hours for a visit not allocated to food and by your own admission, not at a time where it’s typical to eat (you’d had lunch and there’s more than two hours between lunch and tea time). I’d always ask my guest if there was anything they’d like but I wouldn’t have it waiting to go. Some of you have way too much cake sitting around.

and probably do a big picky lunch if it’s during the afternoon

It simply wouldn't occur to me to offer lunch in the middle of the afternoon. I don't keep biscuits or cake in the house as a rule, but if I have invited someone round I would, but for a mid afternoon snack it would just be biscuits/cake or even scones.

I agree that the OP was making a martyr of herself by not eating at a pub afterwards. That's just silly.

Knowing someone is travelling 2 hours just to see you in your home and not making the effort to have something in to offer is weird. There’s no other way around it.