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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be upset my friend cancelled and left me paying?

229 replies

ItWasCalledYellow · 14/06/2026 15:33

I live near a really nice spa and the cost is about £200 for a day with treatments and lunch. A long time friend who lives over 3 hours drive from me has always wanted to go and had been repeatedly asking could we book to go and she stay at my house after. I have no problem with her staying with me, except I have 3 kids, work full time in a busy role and most weeks are busy with sports and activities, so not always easy to find time or money for days like this with mortgage, childcare cost and general COL. Friend works part time and has older teens and has never had childcare costs and has mortgage paid off due to divorce and living in an area with much lower housing costs.

So after many times of her sending me info on different packages I book and my card is used to hold the booking with 48 hour cancellation policy. The day before we were due to go my friend rang and said she could not come as her DS injured his leg at school and needed to go to a&e, fair enough I would not expect her to travel 3 hours away when that happened. She then contacted me the next day to say sorry that she could not go and that there is a spa half way maybe we could meet at that one in future as it was unfair to expect her to do all the driving. I was really annoyed as it was her that kept asking to come to the one near me, I did not suggest it. I asked how her DS is feeling, she said oh he’s fine didn’t go to a&e and put a bag of frozen veg on his leg.

Due to short notice I still had to pay the full cost, I ended up going myself as none of my friends nearby were free with less than 24 hours notice, friend didn’t offer any money for her part despite knowing I had to pay hers due to late notice. AIBU to be furious with the whole situation and think she is not much of a friend despite knowing each other since school.

OP posts:
Sowhat12345 · 22/06/2026 11:13

TeenLifeMum · 14/06/2026 15:36

Send her a message - spa cost owed for your portion is x, here’s my bank details. Glad ds leg is okay xx

That's a good response

Fionuala · 22/06/2026 14:24

agree with above post
be savvy and business like
and then maybe drop her!
friends treat each other equally and with respect and don't take advantage

Patricia69 · 23/06/2026 20:50

Small claims court for money owed. Drop her ass

AutumnLover1990 · 24/06/2026 10:30

I take it from the lack of update that OP hasn't said a word about the money owed? 😞

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