AIBU to think the relative handled the drunk teenager appropriately?

[Random321]

16 year old supposed to be at a friend's house ends up drinking and calls a relative (not a parent) after midnight to come get her.

She's collected, tipsy but not dangerous, small cut which is cleaned up, given water & toast and give a bed for the night and is supervised for the night to make sure she's ok.

Should the relative have rang parents and brought her to home or did they do the right thing in making sure she's alright and looked after her and brought her home in the morning instead.

I am none of the people in this story but just interested in people's opinions.

Should have brought her home unless there was a good reason not to? Need more information, was the teenager supposed to staying over at their friends house? Why did y they feel uncomfortable ringing their parents rather than a relative?

The relative should have called the parents. Everything else was great, it sounds like the relative took good care of the child and is someone the child trusts to call in an emergency. But, she is still a child so the parents should be aware of where she is.

Relative looked after teen well, but should have messaged parents to let them know where teen was.

Was the 16 year old meant to be staying over at a friends? I can imagine the parents being worried sick if they were expecting their daughter home that evening.

Why did 16 year old not call parents?

It depends on the situation really but I think if I was the relative I would of phoned the parents just to let them know what was going on.

The relative did great but agree that unless the parents were extremely angry/ violent people the teen should have been brought home

Did the right thing

Relative should have called the parents and asked what they wanted to happen.

Parent aged relative... should probably have informed parents, older sibling / cousin, did the right thing. Good the 16 year old has someone to call and who will help.

Not clear from your post whether the relative contacted the teenager's parents to let them know she was safe. That should have been done at a minimum. If I was the parent of that teenager and she had been AWOL overnight I would have been beside myself.

Everything else is all fine. But I can't see why the parents wouldn't have been informed?

Relative did great, if it was me, I would have also just sent a quick text to the parents giving them the heads up on the situation, but reassuring them, and saying I’ll drop them home in the morning.
That way you have given the parents all the information, and if they want to they can come and collect them if they prefer that.

Surely it depends on how far the relative lived from the parents and why the teen phoned the relative instead of their parents?

Parent wasn't expecting them home - they were supposed to be at a friend's for the night.

Relavative's house much nearer than parents house.

Would have been just before 2am.

Sorry for being vague, I am none of the people in the story.

Neither relative nor I have kids but have been told we are "f**king clueless" as a result!

unless a parent is abusive or perhaps has extremely unreasonable (high) expectations about teen behaviour , relative should have taken them home or texted the parents to say where DC was.

Based on the little information provided, unless there is a drip feed, the relative should have called the parents.

With the extra info, would probably have waited until the morning before texting the parent(s).

Only reason I think parents should have been told is child was 16, if she was 18 then it’s fair

If they were supposed to be staying at the friends house why did they call relative to collect them after midnight if they weren’t too drunk and nothing was particularly wrong?

Probably sick or so out of it they needed looking after, or something & host DC or the parents asked them to leave! & probably DC thought based on experience of their parents and their relative they’d be in less trouble with the relative.

The parents should still have been informed.

I think its fine for the teenager to have been put to bed and not taken home but unless the parents are abusive I can’t understand why they wouldn’t have been told?

I am confused about your role here OP: on the one hand you say you are none of the people in the story but you use the word “we” in the context of being told you are “clueless”. So are you actually one of the people?

Did the right thing. Ultimately I would share it with the parents afterwards, but it’s good the young person has relatives they can trust in this situation. The parents couldn’t add much at 2am.

Weird to call a relative but not your parent.

A 16 yr old gets a bit drunk, has some kind of minor injury, and isn’t spending the night where they said - and you’re seriously questioning whether the parents should have been informed? 😳

Yes. Of course the parents should have been told. Not even a question.

I have 16 yr olds and across their peer group I can’t think of any parent who would be fine with their child sleeping elsewhere without their knowledge, let alone if they were a bit drunk. At 16, they’re still a child.

Great that the relative was happy to help but extremely poor that they didn’t tell the parents. Is there a back story here?

If the parents were expecting them to stay elsewhere that night then I think calling them at 2am would have just been generating drama for the sake of it

I think at 2am, not alerting the parents until the morning seemed like the best way to avoid drama. Parents weren't expecting child back, child was safe. I might have sent a message that they would see first thing but can understand why you wouldn't ring. Parents likely response is why the child called relative in the first place.

I think she did fine and did take her home to explain. She probably didn’t want them to turn up at hers at 2am, and she wanted to go back to sleep herself after dealing with the 16 year old.

The sex of the relative is conspicuously unspecified. Has she been left alone in a potentially vulnerable position with a man here and that's why people are "f**king clueless"...?