AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

[MissRaspberryRipples]

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

There’s absolutely no way I’d make my DS’s prom all about me. When he had his I was his taxi driver and took photos. Parents dropped off, chatted to each other outside then left them to it. Don’t do this. Rocking up in a matching outfit will make him a laughing stock. No teenager needs that.

I’m interested to know whether you’ve changed your mind OP on the basis of the almost unanimous YABU?

Dressing up for what though I don't get it. Just for a photo before he heads out the door. Then what do you do - get changed back to normal.

Very very weird!

My son will be due to have his school prom next year. To dress up, hadn't entered my head, let alone to buy a new outfit or a matching colour!!

Honestly, it sounds all rather over-the-top. You're his Mum, not his prospective date. By all means, have your picture taken with your son (I think a lot of parents do this). Save buying a new outfit/shoes etc, until his wedding day (assuming he wants marriage in the future), when you'll be mother-of-the-groom.

Beyond weird.

Leave the poor boy to enjoy his night.

When my two eldest had their proms we had a photo with them before they met up with their friends but we weren't dressed up. It was their night, all the focus should be on them not on you.

I asked one of my eldest what they thought of it and they replied "cringe".

I don’t intend to dress up for my daughter’s. Might wear a nice top.

My DS would have been mortified! I was told off for smiling too much when we went saw them off at his prom 🤣

My friend (who is lovely but a show off!) dressed up for her son’s prom. It was a bit cringe and felt like she was trying to make it all about her.

Definitely not it's just a nice purple dress that doesn't even match the purple in his suit really

Maybe you could get some purple nails if you want to give a nod to his suit ? Are you ok though? Why would you dress up if you are not going. Is there a backstory here I wonder?

Definitely do not wear coordinated clothes in your son’s prom. It might embarrass him.

It’s definitely more than ‘a few’ that disagree. Can’t you let him enjoy something without making yourself part of it too? I think that’s really telling.

I always try and be kind replying to OP posts, so while it’s a lovely idea to get a photo or two with your son before prom, matching outfits or even dressing up will take the focus off him when it’s his night and not yours. You’ll have anyone who sees it thinking the same things people are saying on here.

it’s my eldest prom soon too and it hadn’t crossed my mind to have a photo together but now I think maybe I will to remember the moment. I’ll be in my normal clothes, maybe sucking my belly in a bit so I look ok 😬 but that’ll be as far as it goes!

It’s pretty tragic to be honest.

You're right, it's utterly irrelevant to the OP. I should have read properly before posting 🫡🤦‍♀️

Surely any self-respecting 16 year old would just be mortified and embarrassed at this? OP, your son will utterly loathe you if you go ahead with this matching nonsense!
And it's just a teenage party, after all, not "his big night".

Does anyone remember that tv show ‘Say Yes to the Dress’? There was an episode where the bride’s mother started to try on wedding dresses. This post made me think of it.

Don't do it OP. It’s not your night.

Why what's wrong with a purple dress honestly? May not be everyone's favourite colour

My son refused to go to his primary school prom as he declared it a load of rubbish (as did I).

They had a high school leavers' dance and most of the boys wore kilts. I don't remember taking photos of any of it as they probably all met up at somebody's house and left from there.

Similar, but I was going to ask if their surname was Bates.
You’re nicer than me though.

The photos for “memories” should be of him and his friends. Wouldn’t occur to me to be in the photos let alone dress up as though I was going to the prom. Super weird.

I cringed so hard, way before I got to the end of the OP. Then I assumed that it must be a joke. Then, when it seemed that it wasn't, I cringed all over again.

@MissRaspberryRipples matching/co-ordinating prom outfits are for couples. You are basically cos-playing his date. Please, PLEASE don't do this. Not even just for a photo. Your husband is absolutely right

Please don’t tar us all with the same brush!

Op if your DS thinks its nice and its not for social media then I dont see the harm at all and I think you must have a lovely relationship with your DS. I think a lot of MNers are used to their teen sons grunting at them and barely acknowledging their existence which is why youre getting catty remarks, just ignore!

Not strange to want to have a photo with him before he goes, but it’s very strange to go and buy a new dress and shoes in coordinating colours for the 10 minutes that the photoshoot will take. I get it. Every picture of me with DD on her first/last day of school, prom etc. I look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards, but that’s normal! It’d be really odd for me to have been anything other than my usual self on those occasions.