AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

[MissRaspberryRipples]

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

M'kay...😆

What is a prom? A promenade? I though t it was American college students who promenaded.

Again-if her son is happy with the idea, who cares?

Victoria Beckham?

Slightly creepy

My DS and I were in a Show together and he was in DJ and bowtie etc. We had some photos taken and he kept laughing saying we looked like he'd turned up at Prom with his Mum because he couldn't get a date. Please don't do this for real. My son was pretty mortified at the photos we've got.

“I’m not intrusive”….you most certainly are if you’re wanting to match your sons colour of suit for HIS prom just to have photos of you “matching” I think your sons trying to save your feelings but if anyone in the school gets wind of this he will most certainly get the piss taken out of him.
”Clearly a few agree with him”…..have you even bothered reading the comments or just taking note of the HUGE difference in votes which proves almost everyone agrees with him. I think you’re delusional if you’re only seeing “a few” agreeing with your hubby, the vast majority agree with him not just a few. Your workmates are likely nodding and agreeing with you to be polite but behind your back at all saying wtf is she at dressing in a matching colour for her sons prom 🫣
I know most of us are being really blunt here but you still don’t seem to be accepting that you should absolutely NOT wear purple to match your sons suit. I REALLY hope you don’t ignore everyone’s advise here and you go ahead and wear it anyway, we are trying to do your son a massive favour here and save him from the endless slagging he will get over this for years 😩
The second hand embarrassment I’m feeling for you even contemplating this ridiculous idea is off the scale 😳😳

Ew. No.

It's like wearing a wedding dress to his wedding. Just don't.

The absolute weirdest thing about all of this is the fact your ignoring 99% of posters telling you how weird/inappropriate/cringe this idea is and just going with it anyway.

You are extremely odd and I feel very sorry for your DS and his future relationships.

That second one is gorgeous! The first one isn't my style, but fair play to the young woman wearing it, she looks like she's enjoying herself.

We don’t know her son is happy do we? We know the mother’s perception. Even if he was happy, would he remain that way if people point out to him that it’s weird? Also, if he is happy, there is a strong suggestion of an over-enmeshed mother and son. That is potentially problematic.

From your description of your own circumstances with your son, there was no weird over-enmeshed dynamic, just a little happy time before your son went off with his mates. Bear in mind, the OP’s husband, the boys father, has told her “this isn’t about you, it’s his night”. He knows more about this situation than we do.

So you decide that because I stated that my son is ok with me dressing for a nice photo that it simply must be that he's really not?or that he's some kind of weird overly attached mummy's boy? Are kids not allowed to be close to a parent without it being perceived as weird? And I guess you didn't see that my partner is exactly that, not a husband and he isn't even my children's father-a partner that doesn't live with us also and has no involvement in decisions about my children whatsoever. It's not an exact match it's a nice dress from shein it's not a prom gown and I'm certainly not even going anywhere near his prom, it's a couple of photos at home before he leaves to meet his friends. My son is happy for me to wear a nice dress he's seen the dress and said it's nice and will look great for a photo together before he goes. It's not being shoved all over social media either, it's photos to share with aunts uncles etc. my partner is overly opinionated and says it's not something he would do for his own kid which is fine too but is it really fair for people here to indicate that a child close to their parent simply must have something sinister going on between them? That's a pretty disturbing mindset to have that you can't have a good relationship with your own child for the fear that someone may think that it's weird or messed up somehow

I never knew people had parent and child photos taken before a prom, never mind colour co-ordinated outfits.

Strange.

MissRaspberryRipples
I really feel for you, you sound a wonderful, caring mum and your son should be super proud of you, as you are of him. However, on prom night it is all about the youngsters. Do not dress up, support and cheer them from the sidelines let them shine. AFTER the prom, why not arrange for a photographer to do a family phot shoot? Tell your son he looked so lovely in his suit that you'd like a family group photo and you could wear your dress for that? It may be a good idea to suggest that he wears the suit that he chose not to wear for the prom (you said you bought two) that way it would be different enough not to be too closely associated. This way your son gets to be the star on his big night and you get to have some beautiful photos to cherish. Give your partner a big hug and say 'thank you' for being honest with you and saving you from a bit of embarrassment. This way everyone is happy.

Not really but some people know me as VB 😂 and I can be spicy.

Oh my God, please don't! This is ridiculous, and you'll embarrass him forever!

I haven’t decided anything. I have said anything is definate. I have simple offered my impression. Bit of a drip feed about your partner isn’t it? He still knows you and the boy and has asked why you want to do this.

As a PP said, why ask this question here then just argue with the 97% who think your decision is weird?

Well I'm in the minority voting YANBU then!

If OP was dressing up to the nines, getting hair and make up done, wearing one of those corsage things, then yes that would be OTT.

Just wearing a dress the same shade as her son (a CHILD) for a photo at home is not in the same league. What should she do, go the exact opposite coloured dress on the colour wheel - yellow if you're interested - to prove a point, or just not be in any photos that day??

Her son might not be 'embarrassed forever' some people value family and like when others do things for them. A nice photo with your mum is not what pp's are making it out to be. (I have four sons myself and haven't done the matching outfits for photo thing, but can appreciate that it's a nice idea).

In theory it sounds like a cute idea.

But then it's your son's prom. Would he really love to match with him mum? Will he be getting ready with friends? Leaving with friends? Might be embarrassing for him. It's his prom, go all out with the pics but the matching dress does seem a bit much.

I know he's your son and you love him but I have to agree with everyone else. It's his night, he should be more interested taking photos with his date or schoolmates, seems a wee bit overbearing to me! I had photos taken with my daughter before she left but I wasn't tarted up for them! It's our kids' night, not ours.

My son went to his prom in a unusual colour suit, and if I wanted to match he'd agree because he loves me and wants me to be happy. But NO way I would... It's just bizarre. A nice dress sure, but why to match him as your title suggests?

I don't think getting a £15 dress from Shein makes this better btw. Child labour, lead, microplastics, wholesale design theft...

There's no way by this point anyone can say 'oh really? I'd never heard that about Shein!'
Even just the prices and location should be an obvious tell.

goodonyou.eco/how-ethical-is-shein/

Yes of course, as long as you don't imply incest, say her son is gay because he hasn't got a girlfriend (srsly), willfully ignore the text in the msg where she says she's posing for photos in the garden and therefore NOT attending the prom with him...or say she's a complete freak and nightmare mum.

Many posters have said all of the above which is why they have been accused of being bullies.

ETA and now people are picking up the fact she's ordered a dress from Shein.

I have no idea about the mentality of some of the posters in MN. This OP is a real person with feelings. I'm sure she gets it, most people think she's BU.

OP, if I were you, I'd disable notifications and not log in for a while... or ask for your thread to be pulled. It'll not be good for your MH to keep reading comments here.

No indeed, it makes it worse.

it's not a drip feed, it literally says this in the OP