AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

[MissRaspberryRipples]

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

Yep, I agree with this.

Some of the posts in answer to the OP have been pretty toxic, but then some people are very unaware of their own personality traits.

Think my son would've died of embarrassment if I even took pictures with him never mind matching outfits

When my son had his prom, I had some photos taken with him-a few in the middle of the multitude taken with his friends. His friends offered to take the pictures. They literally did not care that we were having a photo together. Nobody suffered a social death. Shock horror, I even had on a nice summer dress & put on a bit of lipstick for the photo.
And-my son chose a pink suit with matching pink trainers.
OP, if you & your son want to have a few photos together, then do it.

I'm going to show this thread to my own year 11 son so he can see that in fact I'm not the most annoying and embarrassing mum on the planet. My crime is no longer dyeing my hair, so I look more like a Nana. Yours would be excruciating in comparison. Let him enjoy it with his mates.

It’s kind of cute that you want a photo of the two of you but do that at home in private maybe in your garden but nooooooo definitely don’t do it in public he’d never hear the end of it

You’ve done him proud with the suit. Don’t spoil it by overstepping with the dress. Hope he has a lovely time with his friends.

For the love of God and all thst is holy. DO NOT DO THIS!

What 16 year old genuinely wants his Mother to steal the limelight and get a matching outfit? I actually am flabbergasted. He is a young man. Let him go and become a young man. He does not need his mother holding his hand….

Weird +++++ Sorry

OP YANBU!

You have quite clearly stated that most importantly your son is happy to have a photo with you in your purple dress and shoes in the garden before he leaves. As a Mum of a son I would say this is the most important consideration.

You have also quite clearly stated that currently you aren't planning to take him to prom but if plans change and you do then you would change into casual clothing to do so.

I'm not sure why so many posters have felt the need to be so mean and hurtful about your son's choice of jacket and about the fact he isn't currently interested in girls.

My son at that age didn't have a girlfriend. He went to prom with a group of friends, none of whom had girlfriends. Once he started sixth form college that changed. So I think it is entirely normal.

I am not the type of Mum who would have dressed up for a photo with my son before he went to prom. However, I applaud your right to do so when you know you have your son's blessing.

As for your partner's response I wouldn't worry. Hope your son has a brilliant prom in his fabulous jacket and that you have a lovely photo to treasure.

Boy Mom Energy. Just no.

Dear MN people.
How can most of you turn such an innocuous post into something that ends up questioning
*The mother’s relationship with her son , intimating it’s incestuous
*Her son’s lack of a girlfriend - he’s only 16 for God’s sake
*His fashion choices.

There really are some nasty people on here

She ISN’t going to the Prom with him !

She just wants a picture in the garden before he goes off - a lovely memento of a milestone on his life
What the hell is so wrong in that ?

Nothing is wrong with that. I did the same with DS1 and will do the same in a few weeks with DS2. It is the matching outfit that is the problem. Matching outfits are normally for couples that's why it seems creepy. A nice outfit for the photo is fine, a matching outfit is weird.

Mother of two boys. First born probably wouldnt object because he is so kind and wouldn't want to hurt my feelings but my head would never even go there. It was his night and I was very much behind the camera. With younger son strugled to even get a decent picture because he run off to be with his mates and warned that I was embarrassing him by taking pictures of them
If he is accepting this you may want to give him a gentle push to dettach from you.
If you must at least don't take him to the prom or be seen by his friends while wearing the matching dress. He will never hear the end of it

It's definitely none of those it's a nice going out dress that came off shein for less than £15. It's not like I've paid a fortune and it's not something that will be worn once and tossed in the wardrobe gathering dust

It's a bit more than a few, over 5000 out of 5000 and a few more.

I’m sorry but I got secondhand embarrassment from reading this

This, truly, don't do this, itd be a bit much when a child is 5 dressing to match them, but at 16, just please don't, let him be independent and act like the adult he's growing into.

Brilliant. So brilliant.

👏👏

I already feel sorry for your future daughter in law 😭 she’ll be posting on here saying ‘my new MIL wore a white dress to my wedding’

oh edited to add just seen a PP beat me to it!

Absolutely not.

This is his evening, don’t make it about you.

I love your son’s suit! Lots of our sixth form students purposefully wear unusual outfits and they always try and arrive by unusual means. We get a lot of the very expensive hired cars but we’ve also had people come on tractors, fire engines, scooters (the ones you self propel with one foot), mobility scooters, horses, and even been carried in on a litter like royalty.

In terms of your question though, yes, I think it’s really weird. It’s not your day. Anyone in the family who does see the picture will be compelled to tell you they like your dress because it’s obvious you made an effort and I imagine they are polite people. You should not make yourself be cause of notice at all if you can help it, it’s your son’s day and he should be the one to shine.

People clearly don't read especially when they want to make someone else a laughing stock for their own entertainment-rightly pointed out that it's been clearly stated numerous times that I'm going nowhere near his prom as his plan is to go with friends. It's literally a photo before he leaves for prom and his friends won't be here they're all meeting up elsewhere and going together. Honestly however some of these people cook up that a nice photo opportunity indicates that a mum wants some form of incestuous relationship with her son is beyond me-maybe those who have said it need their heads testing as those thoughts aren't normal. Thanks for the supportive input

Truthfully, ask your son what he thinks. Tell him you won't be hurt by whatever answer he gives and let him know you're being honest about that. If he likes it, then do it. If not, then you have your answer.

In the end, you aren't being creepy and your partner isn't being mean. You asked his opinion and he gave it.

It’s his nice I wouldn’t be dressing up with him