AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

[MissRaspberryRipples]

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

No

Oh God
please don’t. This is so horrible. You’ve got to let go at some point, OP.
maybe therapy instead of a purple dress … if you want to do something truly kind for him. Therapy.

Odd that OP wants to twin with her son on his prom. I’d think it even more cringe if OP’s son an “individual” dresser & OP’s gone & copied him to join in with his “individuality”. The whole response to her post is that she’s stepping on his individuality by trying to twin, take the focus from him or worse still look like his date. It is odd!

I’m loving that you’re going to do this anyway. Even though the vast majority of pp are of the same opinion as your dp. I cringe inside but admire your tenacity to go your own way.

Everyone's so dead against this, I've just got to vote YANBU, I can't help it...

😂😂😂

OP, sorry that you are having a hard time on here. I do think that you are being unreasonable however, and I do agree with your partner. Not because I think that you want to be your Ds's date or any such nonsense as that. It's clear that you just want to make an effort to make the evening memorable and have some nice pictures.

However in my experience as a mum of a boy, making that much effort is really not what they want at that age. He might be going along with your idea as he is a kind son but, believe me, he just wants you to be a mum, help him get prepared, and then just stay in the background. It's his night, he should be the one getting all the compliments, you should just be there to facilitate it. It's hard to step back I know, but that's my opinion I'm afraid.

You need to look up boy mom on tiktok and stop being one. This is so odd.

Sorry OP but it's a terrible idea, he'll be mortified. As a compromise can you leave it for prom and then arrange for you all to dress up and get some nice family photos taken some time soon?

Christ, this made my toes curl with secondhand embarrassment.

Is your name Maureen and is your son called David, by any chance?

@MissRaspberryRipples
If you don't know why posters are referring to you as a boy mum:
"While being proud of a son isn't unusual, the “boy mom” stereotype takes it to a level where boundaries start to blur, with moms inserting themselves into their son's relationships, comparing themselves to girlfriends, or oversharing in ways that make others uncomfortable."

As my daughter would say ‘that’s so cringe’

Nope. Don't do it.

You’re going to get dressed up in a matching dress and shoes and pose for photos with your son like you’re his prom date? This is ridiculous and creepy no one does this. Just stand next to him in your jeans and wave him off like a normal parent

Well, it would be a sensible and practical outfit with no risk of upstaging her son and best chance of blurring into background

Hi. I think it is lovely you will be having a photos with your son, great memories. As a mother of boys I would err on the side of caution and not go matchy and wear the same colour. He may not care etc, but he may find himself getting bullied or picked on or the butt of jokes by some of the other boys ( for no good reason other than that is what some kids will do if given a chance ) - you know your son, you know his school etc and what things are like, but I wouldn't risk it. get a lovely photo, just don't go as a matching set.

Pretend you haven't bought a dress and ask DS whether he'd like you to buy a special dress for a pre-prom picture with him.
Let his answer be your guide.

It's giving Vicky Beckham at Brooklyn's wedding!

Why should this 16 year old be burdened with the decision about his DMs attire. It's his prom, he shouldn't have any irrelevant decision to make at that age. The mother is old enough to pull on some smart suitable clothes and be there for her son, simple as that.

I think it sounds odd because your title specifically says you are choosing to match your son. As others have said putting on something nice (but not too dressy) is fine, but buying a specific going out outfit in a matching colour is the odd bit.
Will his dad also be dressing up in a suit for a family photo? I think if you were all dressing up and potentially seeing it as a family photoshoot and getting the whole family involved it would make it seem more normal, I think it's the initial wording that implies it's a mum and son thing that stands out as you being overbearing.

Please tell me this is a joke? Your are not SERIOUSLY going to embarrass your 16 year old teenage boy by dressing up as a cross between Bo Peep and a creepy Mrs Robinson? Do you know how uncool this is? Your son will be apoplectic with rage and you'll be shunned. I hope your partner leaves you and takes the poor young man with him. Outrageous! I think you need to get with the zeitgeist 😂😱😂

I bet you won’t be showing your partner this thread @MissRaspberryRipples !

MissRaspberryRipple Please, please tell me this is a joke? Your are not SERIOUSLY going to embarrass your 16 year old teenage boy by dressing up as a cross between Bo Peep and a creepy Mrs Robinson? Do you know how uncool this is? Your son will be apoplectic with rage and you'll be shunned. I hope your partner leaves you and takes the poor young man with him. Outrageous! I think you need to get with the zeitgeist 😂😱😂

OP, I was thinking about this last night.

You remind me of an ex-boyfriend's mum. When he was 40 she still had a key to his house, would show up without warning whenever she felt like it, bought his pants and socks, and wanted to choose his crockery and kitchen tiles.
Whenever she showed up, mid-day while we were at work she would set about cleaning the whole house 'because it really needed it'. It didn't.
She would demand to come to dinner parties with us. They even had a joint bank account.

That man had a string of broken relationships all about three months long because no sane girlfriend could cope with his weird mum demanding to be the woman in her son's life. It was creepy and desperately unhealthy.

Please don't do that to your child.

I think what people are struggling to undersrand is why you need to be in the photos at all?

Its not your prom its his? If you want a nice photo for the living room for memories why wouldnt it be a photo of your son on his own, that will remind you of his prom night? Why do you want to be looking at a picture with yourself in it too? This night isnt about him spending time with his mum its not a shared memory its a night spent with his friends at an event that doesnt include you.

Surely the time to take some nice mum and son pics would be say, on holiday, when you are making shared memories together?

My son wouldn’t even get into a photo with me at that age.