AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

[MissRaspberryRipples]

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

Apples and oranges.

For one, you’re not actually attending the prom so why would you need to dress up for it?

Secondly, parents in the States do attend their child’s graduation ceremony, then usually will head out for food or do the rounds of grad parties, so dressing up is kinda the norm.

I think where you’ve lost people here is the matching and specifically buying a dress to do so. If you had one already you were going to pop on to get some nice pics, fair enough or even if you’d bought a new dress but not sought to match. At the end of the day, getting a pic with your son before his prom is fine. You’re accusing people of bullying and making it weird/wrong but honestly it’s your thread title and OP. They make it weird and deliberate.

Don't do it. Its not your night. Time to back off

If I wanted to do something that I wanted to do, I wouldn't even give two shits what anyone thought. If your son has chosen a purple steampunk style suit, then it sounds like he doesn't either, and maybe that comes from you.
from knowing

It sounds like a great fun idea to match and have some nice pictures, in terms of embarrassing your son, sounds like he's up for it and from knowing teen boys, then there's a good chance his mates think you're hot lol

To answer your initial question @MissRaspberryRipples , your partner must know you and your son's relationship and tastes, and his comments are dickish to make you feel you need any validation here.

Hope you both have a nice night x

Also, comments on incest and him being gay are really quite grim

It’s literally the title of the thread.

I’m baffled that anyone would think it’s appropriate to insert themselves into an occasion that isn’t theirs.

I'm sorry that you your son is being mocked for his suit. This is mean-spirited. I love kids that have their own style; that takes real confidence.

I posted earlier with the word 'creepy' and now I feel bad. The 'looking nice for a photo with your son' is absolutely fine; it is the wearing a matching outfit that makes it appear like you want to be his date for the night.

There are no pictures of my parents in any of my prom photos. Because it was my night, it was about me, my friends, my journey and my independence.

If my mum had insisted on a ‘nice’ photo with her in it, dressed up in the same colours as me… it’s giving main character. I’m grateful my mum was happy for it to be about me and was happy with all the ‘nice’ photos of me.

At my school the evening starts with a drinks reception which includes parents and the parents tend to wear a suit / nice dress. Think garden party / Ascot. And I expect most have a photo taken with their child as it’s a nice occasion.

I think it’s a sweet idea for OP to want to look nice and grab a photo with her son while he’s dressed up. But maybe not in a purple dress. It could end up looking like double denim.

Weird Mom time imho.
Mum if you want to dress up and dance then find a club where adults go enjoy yourself with other adults.

At the place I work, parents, siblings, friends, people from the community etc. all turn up to watch everyone arrive. Everyone is clapped out of their car by the whole crowd. No one dresses up except for the staff and kids. You would have looked really out of place.

At my son’s school, everyone dressed up, but no one really watched anyone arrive except their own child. They’d pose for family pictures. You would probably fit in.

It's a good opportunity to get some nice photos together but it might be a good idea to have some photos taken maybe in the garden together in private. Then if you are actually taking him to his prom, to see him with his friends, it's probably best to get changed into your usual clothes. From experience they are excited to be with their friends and parents are left looking in from the sidelines.

Ooh I like this, very unique! Reminds me of Prince. We always try to instill in our kids and teenagers that they don't need to follow trends. OP it looks like you've done a grand job of raising a confident Independent thinker. Well done you 👏🏽

OP, think about the optics. In years to come, when you look back at the photo are people going to think you went as well?
The photo for the prom should be your son and whoever he is going with. Not you, but if you insist, then jeans and a t shirt.. not a full on, matchy matchy dress and heels.
Also, you asked the question, people answered. Don't blame them for all thinking the same thing..

You have most people, presumably mums, telling you YABU yet you keep saying you aren’t. You do seem to be making it about you when it really isn’t. The photos should be your ds and shouldn’t, imo, contain you. Obviously you’re going to do this because you believe it’s going to be a nice mother/son photo, so pointless continuing to argue against the posters saying YABU. 🤷‍♀️

If MN was an American website you’d probably get a lot of encouraging comments but this just isn’t our culture in the UK. Americans might be ok with this cringey OTT involvement in your kid’s prom but over here it’s just really cringe. I know your intentions might be good but, even if your son was ok with it, I really think it would make him
a laughing stock when his mates inevitably find out, and of course his date will see. I’d just focus on him and help him to look great on the night

If this wasn’t about your main character syndrome, you’d have just put on the dress and taken the photo. As it is, main character syndrome, you’ve also argued your point all over mumsnet first…

That’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard

Please do not OP he will get teased

OP, ignore the harsh comments - I think it’s a lovely idea. Might I suggest a mother and son slow dance to Purple Rain before he heads off? These milestones go by so fast.

Absolutely love a poster battling against the tide , asking 'AIBU' but getting all sweary and drip feedy when it's obvious that they are.

Matching prom outfit with her son. Yeah, perfectly normal. As people have indicated, future wedding outfits will be VERY interesting.

I’m wondering why you posted . The majority agree with your partner that this is strange yet you keep on defending your position. You haven’t questioned if what you’re doing is actually ok

Do you not think this would be a tad cringey for your son?

Monster in law vibes

Good luck to anyone who marries this kid

Leave him alone to have his day and don’t make it all about you. You say you want photos but why do you have to dress up in a matching outfit? Why can’t you have just ONE photo of you, DH (both dressed in ordinary clothes) with your son in the middle?
I’d expect some massive eye rolls when you show people your photos.
PS I pity any future daughter in law!

Nooooooooo!!!!

lol 😝 I know! I don’t think I have ever said I’ve ’purchased’ something in my life. And I don’t recall anyone I know saying it either. For solicitors’ letters only.