To be verbally abused by this dog owner

[moana1234]

This is an extremely honest account of what happened to me this evening and I am still shook up over now. Out walking my dog with my 2 sons age 2 and 6 dog is very friendly & likes to play, we pass a dog with his male owner and 3 sons near some outdoor fitness equipment both his and my dog are off lead so my dog goes over to say hello both dogs are excited and run in a circle around the fitness equipment. I turned my head and in that moment it is alleged my dog ran and knocked over the man’s son who is obviously upset. I ask if that was my dog and if so I’m sorry and hope the boy is okay. To which I am given a torrent of abuse, the man shouts at me to get my dog under control and on lead. I said sorry she is very friendly and wouldn’t have meant to it was an accident and his dog was playing too. He continued screaming and shouting at me telling me to train my dog and if I didn’t he would train it for me... I was so took aback I asked if he was joking then when he continued shouting I asked if he would just stop so I could firstly put my dog on a lead (I really didn’t need to as she had come back & has good recall but I didn’t want to provoke anything) and secondly not shout round the children (my 6 yr
old was visibly distressed) I got the dog on the lead and as I was walking away he shouted arsehole. I am ashamed to say I was so stressed and upset I actually soiled myself and can’t stop shaking and crying about this. Was I in the wrong here??

That’s not how it works. If it’s a spontaneous evacuation in response to fear or stress, the bowel will contract and expel whatever’s in there. It doesn’t have to be touching cloth for that to happen.

It kicks in due to the sensation of threat or danger. The body can’t differentiate between a spat with a dog owner and being chased by a lion, it just knows that it senses threat and reacts.

Well, in a reasonable, well-balanced person it can differentiate.

Otherwise there’d be mass sharting on rollercoasters, in horror movies, and occasionally while driving.

Exactly! If this happens during a minor issue then obviously a full assessment and treatment is needed.

People shouldn't live wirh such abnormal and extreme bodily reactions when there is help out there.

Poor examples, you know you’re not in genuine danger on a rollercoaster or watching a horror movie. Possibly could happen in the event of a car accident. It’s not the type of thing people would generally broadcast so may well be more common than we realise.

The point is, it’s not the dramatic, medical emergency that one poster is intent on convincing the op (who unsurprisingly seems to have left the thread about 10 pages ago) it is.

A man shouting at you might seem minor, but to other people it might not be.

'The point is, it’s not the dramatic, medical emergency that one poster is intent on convincing the op'

Obviously not a dramatic, medical emergency no.

I've never suggested a&e nor 999. What I have said it is an <obviously> abnormal reaction and rather than listen to some of you who think is all absolutely fine to shit oneself when arguing with someone she should actually see a hcp to manage her anxiety and her bowel control.

It isn’t an abnormal reaction. That’s the point. It isn’t a desirable reaction and if it happened multiple
times I’d agree the op would have an issue, logistical
more than medical. But as a one off I would say it’s a perfectly normal evolutionary response to perceived danger.

Both dogs should have been on a lead. He should have not been aggressive.

A question for good dog owners, is this ok
to happen with a trained dog in public? my dog goes over to say hello. I don’t want any dog coming to ‘say hello’ to me, I am afraid.

Ha.

I wonder if ‘very friendly & likes to play’ is a euphemism for ‘untrained’?

I felt this too.

@moana1234 you didn't see so weren't sure if your dog knocked over child. Best to apologise and straight on lead. Check child ok too. Not the right time to question or minimise.

Maybe keep dog on lead. Many people won't find your dog as lovely and friendly as you do.

The soiling would be worth a mention to doctor.

It was obvious what you meant. You were not mocking mental health problems or incontinence.

As a consultant psychiatrist of several decades, I can say that no NHS service would offer a ‘full assessment’ based on this. Neither gastro or psych services. Though I am sure the private sector would be happy to take the money!

No previous history of incontinence would suggest that this is in no way a GI problem.

And as a one-off, this would not be seen an an anxiety disorder. Obviously if the history shows generalised anxiety or panic attacks over a period of time, adversely affecting quality of life, then a referral for some CBT could be considered, and even SSRIs. But a one-off soiling incident in response to an incident of threat from an aggressor? Even though it would not happen to many of us, it would still come within ‘normal’ parameters, and would not be deemed as requiring treatment in itself.

ETA and we need to be careful of increasingly medicalising ‘normal’ human reactions. Anxiety does not always need immediate treatment.

No. My dog would never do this, and because she can’t be trusted to never approach another person or dog she’s always on lead.

"ETA and we need to be careful of increasingly medicalising ‘normal’ human reactions. Anxiety does not always need immediate treatment'

Well if you are a consultant psychiatrist then you should know this is not a normal reaction.

Of course a GP or nurse prac would sign post appropriate support to prevent a repeat.

Yes we really do need it to become the norm that they're on leads near people, only off in wide open spaces so you can see others approaching and recall.

Agree and I am a dog lover. All my training revolves around keeping mine safe and trying to stop him being a nuisance. He’s getting much better at ignoring people now but he’s iffy with other dogs so I still always put him on the lead if I see other people or dogs approaching! It’s annoying when you put so much effort in to training your dog and others just don’t bother.

No they would not. They would offer reassurance, discuss the fight or flight response and not refer based on this.

My current role is linked with primary care. Our GPs refer to us in the first instance for advice. Even if they referred (which they wouldn’t as they are very good at working with mental illness), we would not accept a referral based on this one-off incident.

Yes. We must not forget that there are many good owners like you around.

Other dog owners never cease to surprise me. Most of us know for example dogs on lead do not like to be approached by dogs off lead no matter how friendly they are. The on lead dog feels threatened. It's not rocket science yet time and time again hapless owners let there's do as they like.

There should be some basic common sense test you have to pass before allowed a dog .

'Even if they referred (which they wouldn’t as they are very good at working with mental illness), we would not accept a referral based on this one-off incident'

Yes agree GPs are generally ok at managing mh and would definitely support the op going forward. Of course they wouldn't refer to a 'psychiatrist' I dont think I ever suggested they would, any old primary based hcp would do.

I'm sure that's exactly what it needs.

A dog approaching you may seem minor, but to other people it might not be.

That is not what happened though.