To be verbally abused by this dog owner

[moana1234]

This is an extremely honest account of what happened to me this evening and I am still shook up over now. Out walking my dog with my 2 sons age 2 and 6 dog is very friendly & likes to play, we pass a dog with his male owner and 3 sons near some outdoor fitness equipment both his and my dog are off lead so my dog goes over to say hello both dogs are excited and run in a circle around the fitness equipment. I turned my head and in that moment it is alleged my dog ran and knocked over the man’s son who is obviously upset. I ask if that was my dog and if so I’m sorry and hope the boy is okay. To which I am given a torrent of abuse, the man shouts at me to get my dog under control and on lead. I said sorry she is very friendly and wouldn’t have meant to it was an accident and his dog was playing too. He continued screaming and shouting at me telling me to train my dog and if I didn’t he would train it for me... I was so took aback I asked if he was joking then when he continued shouting I asked if he would just stop so I could firstly put my dog on a lead (I really didn’t need to as she had come back & has good recall but I didn’t want to provoke anything) and secondly not shout round the children (my 6 yr
old was visibly distressed) I got the dog on the lead and as I was walking away he shouted arsehole. I am ashamed to say I was so stressed and upset I actually soiled myself and can’t stop shaking and crying about this. Was I in the wrong here??

Take it up with doctors and therapists who work with trauma or with soldiers in combat.

We aren't talking about combat or trauma we're talking about a run in with a dog walker. It should not have such an extreme effect and if it did then help is required to cope with confrontation <and to assist with the alleged incontinence>.

Is it? If that's how he shouts at stranger women god knows what he's like at home

Oh my god would you give it a rest. Can you honestly not understand that threat and intimidation looks and feels different to everyone? Just because you wouldn’t perceive this as a stressful experience it doesn’t mean other people are would feel the same. Anxiety and physical anxiety symptoms can even exist without any presence of threat - that’s why is such a problem for people.

Fight or flight is an evolutionary survival method. Our body’s still react in the same way as a cave man running away from a sabre tooth tiger would. You do not get to say that one persons version of threat is less worthy or the response. It doesn’t work like that.

Victim blaming. The man should not have been such a twat and shouted at a woman to the point he frightened her into soiling herself.
I bet he would not have done that if OP had been a man.

Honestly I’d blow up at you too if your out of control dog knocked over my child. Yes it’s alarming when people get cross at you but you messed up there. Keep your dog on a lead or at the very least don’t let it approach people.

His dog was also off lead and running about with OP's dog. His dog could have hit his own child over.

I didn't say it may not have been stressful I'm pointing out <politely> that the response was absolutely disproportionate and for that reason she needs to seek professional help.

Being incontinent over minor altercations is going to be very unpleasant going forward otherwise.

I would not class a man shouting verbal abuse at a woman as minor.
He should not have done it, yet here you are saying she should not have shit herself.
He can help it. He is the one that needs to go on an anger management course.

If the op has never had an altercation like this and the man was being aggressive and threatening to her then she obviously felt intimidated and in danger. Her response may be different to someone who has a different personality or someone who experiences conflict and confrontation more often.

You think it’s disproportionate. It doesn’t mean it was disproportionate to her. As a one off incident it is not a medical issue, it was a natural response to unusual threat.

You denied it was an evolutionary response that is hard wired. You were wrong about that. Now you are simply arguing to soothe your wounded ego and minimizing the OP’s experience so you can feel good about yourself.

How superior you are that you have no trauma in your life that can be triggered by extreme startle or perceived threat. You have no way of knowing the full story of OPs experience or how aggressive this man was.

Give it a rest. Several people have pointed out that OP says this is the first tme she has ever soiled herself from fright/stress. And you clearly know nothing about incontinence because a one off stress instance in which you involuntarily evacuate your bowels is not incontinence. You even suggested upthread that OP should get incontinence pads, which is ridiculous.

I don't have a wounded ego. You aren't helping the op by suggesting this response is normal or proportionate. She could have undiagnosed ibs, acute anxiety or anything. She needs to see her gp.

Plenty of trauma and life challenges thanks, arguing with dog walkers is not even in the top 10.

His dog could have hit his own child over

Except - and here's the crucial point so try and keep up - it didn't. OP's dog did. As such she is at fault for that accident and he isn't.

He IS responsible for his reaction to it, but that doesn't negate OP's position.

You really are making yourself look very silly. Just admit you were wrong or stop posting. You are repeating the same narrow minded views about it being disproportionate without knowing the op or witnessing the situation. I’m embarrassed for you. Let it go.

Nerves in the lower back if they're eg being compressed by disk problems can affect sensation in bowel and bladder

Stop quoting me then and I'll stop correcting you?
Try to post without the constant insults. I'm not 'silly' and no need to be embarrassed for me.

You’re not correcting me. You are rehashing the same incorrect information based on your own narrow minded views repeatedly. Despite being told by several posters that you are wrong. But you do you.

Oh yes I realise that but I thought maybe you meant something else that might relate to my situation.

She had an episode of involuntary bowel evacuation. Once. In her whole life. That is not incontinence, it’s a fight or flight response.

And once more, I didn’t say it was hilarious. I said it would be hilarious if it wasn’t so insulting. Which it was.

Yeah but she must have been turtle-necking before she evacuated spontaneously. Best to empty the old guts before going on a dog walk really.

People wee themselves when they have a jump scare, or even laugh. It has happened to me, and I do not need to walk about in pads.

He clearly overreacted and was aggressive and scared you. It might be that he’s just an awful man or it may be that it was a panicked reaction to the fear of seeing his child knocked down by a dog, which he may well have thought was an attack by the dog. we can’t know and it was probably a little of both.

Out if interest, what breed is your dog? All have the potential to be dangerous (and all to be lovely) but there’s a real difference between having a cockerpoo jump up and an XL bully.

But dog owners are getting worse. You need to train a dog well and then be responsible for it at all times. Leads on unless safe to be off. Not letting dogs rush up to strangers, etc. etc. It protects other people, other animals, and yourself and your dog.

We hear of so many awful dog attacks nowadays. I suspect many of their owners would have labelled their dogs as ‘friendly’ and ‘playful’, right up until the point they suddenly weren’t.

I live in the countryside, I know of many examples of arrogant owners of badly trained dogs who ignore signs to keep them on leads in fields and such. They know better than the farmers and the signs, and their daring little dog would never do that, and if he does start chasing sheep, he’s ‘just playing’. It’s irresponsible and dangerous. If you want an animal you have to be responsible for it.

That's just a weak pelvic floor though not the fight or flight reaponse which some on here think kicks in having a spat with a dog walker.

Returning to this thread after a few days and seeing people are still arguing about involuntary bowel movements. That’s a strange hill to die on 🤣