To be verbally abused by this dog owner

[moana1234]

This is an extremely honest account of what happened to me this evening and I am still shook up over now. Out walking my dog with my 2 sons age 2 and 6 dog is very friendly & likes to play, we pass a dog with his male owner and 3 sons near some outdoor fitness equipment both his and my dog are off lead so my dog goes over to say hello both dogs are excited and run in a circle around the fitness equipment. I turned my head and in that moment it is alleged my dog ran and knocked over the man’s son who is obviously upset. I ask if that was my dog and if so I’m sorry and hope the boy is okay. To which I am given a torrent of abuse, the man shouts at me to get my dog under control and on lead. I said sorry she is very friendly and wouldn’t have meant to it was an accident and his dog was playing too. He continued screaming and shouting at me telling me to train my dog and if I didn’t he would train it for me... I was so took aback I asked if he was joking then when he continued shouting I asked if he would just stop so I could firstly put my dog on a lead (I really didn’t need to as she had come back & has good recall but I didn’t want to provoke anything) and secondly not shout round the children (my 6 yr
old was visibly distressed) I got the dog on the lead and as I was walking away he shouted arsehole. I am ashamed to say I was so stressed and upset I actually soiled myself and can’t stop shaking and crying about this. Was I in the wrong here??

Maybe, maybe not, but some of the replies certainly are.

You said suggesting someone had mh and continence problems and should seek professional support was insulting and hilarious. It isn't.

We should all be able to stand up for ourselves without such extreme reactions, obviously.

This lady needs strategies to cope with confrontation, advice re bowel control and dog training tips.

Just read @MandingoAteMyBaby‘s comment to @YeOldeGreyhound
Have I just read that right? How totally lacking in empathy or any sort of understanding about how animals can support people going through bereavement. Probably thought it was a witty comment - at a loss to understand why someone would post that.

She often posts on dog threads saying how dog owners are stunted and inferior in some way.

Maybe - and she may not like dogs, ok, but that comment was very harsh and crossed a line
for me.

Well it’s usually more about what a scourge on society dogs are.

Someone finding comfort from their dog after losing their spouse is not a scourge on society, and your comment was totally uncalled for.

Beautiful post @Corgiowner it sounds like you live in a magical place (I’m imagining the Hebrides for some reason). Like you, I can’t imagine my life without a dog.

And you said my bereaved relative must somehow remember her dead spouse when she clutches a poo bag.
You know that is not what I meant when I said her dog brought her comfort, and you know that. You were just being goady and nasty.

Bloody hell, many of the posts in this thread are shameful and plain nasty. Agree with Mark Twains quote “The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog”.

Wow

That’s what I thought @Branleuse
Vile comment.
Argue a point about dogs, fine, but a comment like that, it’s not right.

This is what usually happens on any threads about dogs.
It is fine to not like dogs, but some people take it way too far.

Are you the robot dog poster 🤔 your posting style is familiar. And by familiar I mean mental.

I have always assumed that to be the case.

Still think it’s extremely odd thing to happen, it was an uncomfortable situation but wouldn’t exactly say stressful enough to soil yourself, I’d still get that checked regardless of what Google claims.

Anyway, if your dog is “overly friendly” it’s just one stage down from aggressive dogs IMO. Absolutely winds me up seeing dog owners place that much trust in their dogs just because they’re friendly that they allow them to run excited and wild with other dogs and children around.
Few years ago 2 of my kids were playing on rocks on a beach, gorgeous hot summers day, this little shit of a black terrier type dog was like an absolute lunatic running wild all over the place, running though people’s blankets and towels, running around kids in the water knocking them over, owners were an elderly couple down at the shore with grandkids while parents sat nearby us. Next thing I see the dog run full speed towards the rocks and little pool area my kids were in. She dived straight at my 2 kids knocking 5 year old onto the rocks and tore his whole back top to bottom, he was screaming in fear and agony, bloody running down his back and the sand and salt water stinging it even more. My teen run and got him carried him up and I started roaring who the fucking owns that stupid fucking dog, the nearby family looked away don’t come over, my teen run down to ask who owns it as she had run back to shore, another grandkid of owners run down and told them and they came walking up. The lady apologised the man stood back said nothing, she started making excuses for the dog, she’s only a year old, she’s overly friendly not aggressive blah blah blah, I said does any of that actually fucking matter, just because she’s friendly doesn’t mean she’s safe round kids, she’s a liability because she’s too hyper and you’re allowing her run all over the beach onto people’s belongings and knock over kids it’s not good enough she needs to stay on a lead unless the beach is empty and others are safe from her. All she replied was well those rocks are too sharp anyway, I’m like whatttt you’re blaming natural rocks now instead of taking responsibility for you being a careless owner, she is absolutely not safe around children just because she’s not aggressive doesn’t mean she’s safe around others, she’s irritating people and she’s just injured a young child, keep her on the fucking lead at all times. I just walked away as lifeguards came to clean him up. He was scared for months afterwards.
The man was OTT aggressive towards you and I assume his son was not injured but he’s not wrong in being entitled to say something to you about your lack of control on your “overly friemdly” dog, it’s bloody annoying when people see no wrong in their dogs behaviour just because they’re not aggressive, id they’re at risk of harming a child accidentally then no, they should never be off lead.

Report any 'nasty bastards'. Your sweeping announcement about MN is ironically nasty in itself. Pot and kettle etc.

I have a dog, she's walked on her lead, only off lead away from people. I don't take her into cafes, shops or with me when I visit people. So many people do though so I can fully understand your attitude tbh.

Ive just walked ours, now she'll be tucked up at home while we pop out yet annoyingly I'll have everyone else's dogs under my feet in coffee shops.

Irresponsible and careless owners really do spoil it for the rest of us!

Both dogs are off-leash, it sounds like a pure accident to me. Only if his is on leash and your is off leash, then it is your problem.

Link to the relevant legislation.

https://www.gov.uk/control-dog-public

Yes if your dog is out of control & injures someone it is an offence & your responsibility

If you 'don't know' whether the child was injured then your dog was not properly under control as being out of your sight is not 'under control'.

Only let it off the lead when you can maintain control & clearly not when you have 2 small children with you.

If you can't even control yourself then definitely keep the dog on a lead!

Wow, there are some unhinged posts on this thread.

OP, I can see wrong on both sides here. For context, I am a dog owner, and our dog is reactive after being attacked twice by off-lead dogs who were not under control.

I would not recommend having your dog off lead while you are also watching your children. An off-lead dog should be monitored all the time, as you have no physical control over it, only verbal, so you need to know if a situation is arising that you need to respond to. You will only know this if you are paying attention.

I would also not recommend having your dog off-lead unless you have faultless, 100% verbal control of your dog. This is the very definition of having your dog under control. If you do not have this, your dog is out of control. Your post implies your dog has good recall, so I would imagine if you had been watching, you would have seen your dog start to approach. At this point, stopping your dog and checking in with the man before allowing your dog to engage would have been the right thing. Yes, his dog was also off lead, but his dog did not approach your dog - it was the other way around. So he may have had his dog under close control, while you didn’t. It was your dog approaching that started the sequence of events that ended so badly.

On his side, he should accept half the responsibility. If he didn’t want your dog to play with his dog, he should have (if he had full verbal control) called his dog away and asked you calmly to recall your dog. He didn’t, so I assume he was happy for your dogs to play together until the point his child was hurt. That means he was equally responsible, and I’m sorry that you were so frightened and intimidated by his reaction. It was out of proportion, considering he was also to blame. Playing dogs are daft, they don’t pay attention to what’s going on around them. That’s why I wouldn’t let dogs play near small children - it’s an accident waiting to happen.

As dog owners, it’s so important that we have full control of our dogs at all times, and we have to take responsibility for our dogs’ actions. It’s always better to be over cautious than under cautious. I hope you are okay, and can take something from this to help you avoid this kind of thing in the future.

Mumsnet as always, showing compassion and kindness to people who are upset.
Was his son definitely knocked over? As in, did you see him on the ground? If not he might be lying, in which case he’s an even bigger knob than you’ve described, or you need to accept you’ve been a bit careless with your dog. But that’s it. Either way, you didn’t deserve to be verbally abused. When something like this happens both people need to deal with it like mature adults. Apology offered, either accepted or not, but both move on with their day. No need for anyone to be abusive and intimidating.
I actually feel really bad for you if you were so frightened you had an accident. I hope you feel better soon and can move on from this.