To be verbally abused by this dog owner

[moana1234]

This is an extremely honest account of what happened to me this evening and I am still shook up over now. Out walking my dog with my 2 sons age 2 and 6 dog is very friendly & likes to play, we pass a dog with his male owner and 3 sons near some outdoor fitness equipment both his and my dog are off lead so my dog goes over to say hello both dogs are excited and run in a circle around the fitness equipment. I turned my head and in that moment it is alleged my dog ran and knocked over the man’s son who is obviously upset. I ask if that was my dog and if so I’m sorry and hope the boy is okay. To which I am given a torrent of abuse, the man shouts at me to get my dog under control and on lead. I said sorry she is very friendly and wouldn’t have meant to it was an accident and his dog was playing too. He continued screaming and shouting at me telling me to train my dog and if I didn’t he would train it for me... I was so took aback I asked if he was joking then when he continued shouting I asked if he would just stop so I could firstly put my dog on a lead (I really didn’t need to as she had come back & has good recall but I didn’t want to provoke anything) and secondly not shout round the children (my 6 yr
old was visibly distressed) I got the dog on the lead and as I was walking away he shouted arsehole. I am ashamed to say I was so stressed and upset I actually soiled myself and can’t stop shaking and crying about this. Was I in the wrong here??

Keep your dog on a leash.

I think it depends. How old was the kid? He might have got himself in the way and had a gentle fall. Or your dog was running like a complete maniac, really slammed into the kid who fell badly on his head.

First case scenario, the apology should have been enough. Second, he would be absolutely right.

What's confusing is that you don't seem to have seen the accident. We're you not watching? What were you doing? You should always keep an eye on your dog.

dog is very friendly & likes to play

This makes me think your dog regularly jumps up on people to initiate play but you still let them off the lead. If you call your dog, does it return to you first time?

I mean, it sounds like he definitely overreacted shouting at you like that, but if your dog ran into and knocked over a child, it's safer for it to be on lead and saves you these issues. A lot of the time people think because the dog is friendly it's fine, but then the dog approaches people or dogs who don't want to be approached and that's not okay, neither is knocking over children.

OP - I'm sorry this escalated - and the man was totally out of order to be so abusive.

But please, please don't use the excuse of your dog being friendly! It's just the most irritating comment from dog owners whose dog has just jumped at someone, knocked something over, got mud on people or tripped them over.

I've seen quite a few incidents where other people have been either mildly inconvenienced or actually injured by off-the-lead dogs and I can tell you that an owner telling the vicitm that the dog is friendly is just the last straw.

We don't care - just control it! It doesn't help if you've bashed your knees after being tripped over to be told the animal is just being friendly.

@moana1234 100% YABU.

Your dog was not under control. You need to train your dog not to approach other people or dogs, or keep it on a lead in public.

My DS got knocked over by a dog who bounded over to him and he is now very wary of other dogs.

Friendly dog is irrelevant. It needs to be under control.

(And yes I have a dog - trained to not approach other dogs/people unless told to)

That was very frightening, you now need to put it behind you. It's happened, you can't change that. What you can change is having your dogs loose in public areas, just keep them on leads. Very few dog owners have real control over their dogs when loose. Hardly any have enough control to stop their dogs approaching other dogs and people and it's too late to get hold of them after it's happened. It's never right to have dogs allowed to approach other people, children and dogs without clear agreement from the owners in advance. I wish everyone would take this on board and use leads.

@moana1234 Hope you’re okay. It’s frightening when someone gives you this level of abuse. Sometimes (speaking from experience), it’s not what they say, but how they say it. Obviously, if your dog did knock the child over, then the man would be upset and concerned for the if his chid, but that didn’t warrant this level and prolonged abuse.

You should keep your dog on a lead.

It really is that simple.

I love dogs but dog owners need to be responsible when in public spaces.

I think some dog owners confuse having a playful dog with having a well trained dog.

It’s lovely that your dog is friendly but you need to train it to ignore other animals when off lead. Don’t let it play with other dogs because you can’t expect a dog to look where it’s going when it’s running around.

It really isn’t normal to have a bowel movement during stress so you need to make an appointment with your doctor.

Of course your dog is friendly, they all are until they are not.

This would not have happened if your dog had been on its lead as it should have been.

What type of dog is it?

So the dogs were playing with each other? All off lead? And one of his kids got caught out and knocked over. Both of you should have been watching what was going on while both your dogs were playing. Playing dogs don't always pay attention to their surroundings, it isn't out of badness same as excited kids make mistakes sometimes.

He had an overreaction to it, probably because he wasn't paying enough attention either. Then you had an overreaction.

You should have had eyes on your dog if it’s off lead, friendly or not.

Friendly dogs approach people, jump up on people, damage clothing, lick people and also knock people over. They also approach other dogs who don't always like it, especially if they are on a lead because they can't escape. All of that behaviour often results in anger being directed at the owner.

It is quite a stressful responsibility having an off lead dog. The simple solution is to keep your dog on a lead. The dog might be marginally less happy but everyone else, including you, will be calmer and happier.

Perhaps the man was fucking scary??

I'd have got him removed from my property. Horrible man.

Don't worry op I peed myself in front of my entire class because my lovely teacher made me stand up and shouted at me because I drew on a chair. I was 10. Still haunts me to this day and my biggest fear is it happening again

The man was totally out of order to shout aggressively, depending how “in your face” he got this could even be classified as an assault. I can see how being shouted at by an aggressive man could cause you to soil yourself and it’s a shame you’ve received very little empathy for this in the comments.
You really do need to keep your dog on a lead in public areas, especially ones like parks where children can be knocked over by “playful” dogs. This will help you to avoid further confrontations in the future.

The man was just a bully. 2 dogs both off lead, both owners with children. My dogs over friendly so I mainly keep her on lead. However I never get upset when other dogs come over. I'm sorry you were so upset, but there's a lot of unhappy people in the world who are just waiting to vent.

If i shit myself as a result of a pretty minor incident I'd definitely be going to the GP. It can be a sign of something very concerning.

Screaming and shouting at you was possibly disproportionate but I have to say, I’m so fucked off with useless dog owners and their whole ‘he just wants to play / he’s just being friendly’ bollocks. Yes mine would too if I let her just charge around doing whatever she wanted but I can appreciate that isn’t really on. You had no control over your dog, whether that’s because you didn’t want to control it or you couldn’t, but either way that little boy got hurt because you weren’t in control. Don’t blame the man for being angry.

could you please explain that a bit more? I had a stroke last year & have issues on my RHS ( loss of feeling, but constant feeling like severe pins & needles. I have GTPS in my right hip & have had lower back pain since Nov last year. I thought it was unrelated to my post strike nerve issues but are you suggesting it could be linked?

also am not incontinent, but I can't 'hold on' like I could before the stroke.

Exactly this!

I have a dog who is always on his lead as his recall is poor. The amount of off lead dogs that come up with the owners in the distance shouting 'hes friendly' is bloody annoying!

No. There's a lot of unhappy people in this world who are sick of entitled dog owners!

Both of you need to keep your dogs on a lead. I'm fed up of going to the park and having strange dogs running about.