School not taking note of creepy behaviour

[Savethegirls]

Posting here for traffic and name changed for this question.

At my child’s secondary school, one of boys (15yrs)leaked his friend’s ipad contents. Screenshots of ipad had folders for several girls as young as 12. Its had pictures and text about how his interaction with these girls.

School suspended the boy who found it and circulated the screenshots, saying privacy violations. And all kids had to delete every evidence gathered. Parent of the creepy boy keep telling everyone its his habit to write notes and some of it was just “fantasy “.

Now obviously backlash no one is talking to the boy but the deputy Headmaster is now singled out girls and asking them to not believe these stories and they need to talk to him.

the creepy boy is in Drama tech crew and probably has a stash of pics from last few yrs.

the girls have seen the evidence and not ready to trust the school.

YABU - overthinking this
YANBU- call the Headmaster over this

parents and kids are feeling there might be repercussions at school if they complain. Any advice on how to handle this?

If I was you I would speak to the parents of the other girls and all go to talk to the headteacher. I would also see if it was possible to retrieve the photos that were deleted as the may be in the bin folder and make threats of;

1. pulling all the girls from the school
2. going to the police
3. going to the press If you don't get a satisfactory answer.

The school is putting these girls at risk. Where do people think stalkers and rapists start? Do they just spring out of the ground? No just like serial killers they all start somewhere and it is usually in adolescents. If some of the other teenage boys thought this was bad enough to hack his tablet and share screenshot of the folders it shows you that this is wrong.

Um wow. This is nonsense. Which ‘education department’ are you repeatedly referring to?

I assumed they meant the local authority, but was also a bit confused

Na the school can get fucked. He can't tell tales on girls because they won't talk to him. Creepy af

What Education Dept do you think I mean? Apart from the government theres only one locally and that's in the council. So wow how uninformed are you??

Our council education department deals with school admissions, term dates, transport, and special educational needs. Where exactly would this situation fit?

The other kid had no right leaking another kids private iPad contents. it’s the distribution of the content that’s the problem, not the having of them.

No, they are responsible for much more in law including dealing with criminal behaviour in schools and overseeing the discharge of a schools responsibility under statute. Schools have a responsibility to meet the outcomes of laws governing schools. That's what the local authority Education Dept. Is there to ensure, together withe the transactional stuff you've mentioned.
assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/65ce3721e1bdec001a3221fe/Behaviour_in_schools_-_advice_for_headteachers_and_school_staff_Feb_2024.pdf

I called a guy at my school "creepy".

He wasn't. I didn't know him, and when I got to know him, he was lovely.

You are getting one side of a story here, and second-hand facts.

Both can be a problem. It’s not an either /or situation.

While the behaviour of those who shared the contents is a problem, it's not the only problem. The boy's behaviour is common, but it's not good. Focusing on your colleagues as an unreciprocated romentic/sexual focus is behaviour that needs to redirected, nto accepted as okay. It is creepy. And yes, lots of people of both sexes engage in that sort of thing when they are young and most grow out of it.

But a significant number do not. And when they are focusing on individuals in their social/school/work circles in this way it changes the way they treat them and others of the same sex as their targets. So there are two reasons to not just say - it's okay, it's normal.

One - it's not okay because it affects the atmosphere those girls have to put up with at school. I is particularly common for girls to find school environments treats them as less rounded than their male counterparts and find they are ignored other than for their potential as romantic/sexual partners and this sort of behaviour is part of why that happens.

Two - this is how stalking starts, an unreciprocated focus on others. Obviously, as said before, most teens grow out of it, but by no means all. Not realising that it's unfair on your colleagues to focus on them like this is not surprising in a teen, but to not be told that when it's out in the open and for your targets to not be given validation in their upset at it, gives the message that actually it's fine. It isn't. As I'm sure the female teachers in the school would feel if they found out one of the male teachers was collecting photos on them and making notes about how they felt about seeing them.

In what way is this 15year old boy writing about these girls he has compiled files for in his iPad? From what his parents have said about him writing fantasies about them indicates that he could have been writing sexual fantasies about them with their photographs. If the girls have been made aware of this of course they're not going to want to interact with him at all and the schools head teacher cannot force them to be friendly with him. What has this boy now done with the contents of the iPad? I know you said the kids who came across it all and took screenshots has been suspended for sharing them across school and been made to delete all those screenshots but what consequences has the boy had for his seemingly stalkerish behaviour towards the girls he has been writing about?