School not taking note of creepy behaviour

[Savethegirls]

Posting here for traffic and name changed for this question.

At my child’s secondary school, one of boys (15yrs)leaked his friend’s ipad contents. Screenshots of ipad had folders for several girls as young as 12. Its had pictures and text about how his interaction with these girls.

School suspended the boy who found it and circulated the screenshots, saying privacy violations. And all kids had to delete every evidence gathered. Parent of the creepy boy keep telling everyone its his habit to write notes and some of it was just “fantasy “.

Now obviously backlash no one is talking to the boy but the deputy Headmaster is now singled out girls and asking them to not believe these stories and they need to talk to him.

the creepy boy is in Drama tech crew and probably has a stash of pics from last few yrs.

the girls have seen the evidence and not ready to trust the school.

YABU - overthinking this
YANBU- call the Headmaster over this

parents and kids are feeling there might be repercussions at school if they complain. Any advice on how to handle this?

I think you have missed some key details out. What was with the photos on the IPad? What are the stories girls have been asked not to believe?

Its had pictures and text about how his interaction with these girls

What does that mean?

I would stop referring to a 15 year old as creepy boy. Some of his behaviour might be questionable but he is a child too. Clearly some intervention needs to take place.

This reminds me of a strange boy I went to school with back in the 90s. All I remember for certain is that he kept a handwritten ranking of who he considered to be the 'hottest' girls in the school. Some of the other boys knew about it and egged him on. 🙄 He was an odd guy, though as far as I know he's never done anything illegal. He was just a bit off and rather creepy (imo).

I don't completely follow the circumstances outlined in the OP, but whether I'd speak to someone would be determined by the nature of the photos and notes. Regardless of anything else, I don't think it's right for adults to try to force children to be friends with everyone. I get that it's not nice to ostracise someone at school, work, etc, but I wouldn't force my theoretical child to be anything more than civil to someone they personally didn't like for whatever reason.

Also fwiw I wrote some incredibly weird romantic fantasies involving my brother’s friends at that age. I would have been horrified if anyone had found them and it hasn’t made me sexually deviant. Without knowing what he has written it is hard to judge.

Your post is not very clear.

notes on interactions could be anything from

she wants a blue filter on the scene 6

to full on sexual fantasies.

If these pictures were intimate in nature, I'd be calling the police over this, not the headmaster.

Stop calling the boy creepy, he is 15, a child as well. Adding to the drama is not helpful in any situation.

Without knowing what was written or the nature of the photographs (which sound innocent from what has already been said) then we can't really comment. I've never been one to keep a diary but I know friends from school who did that and wrote all manner of fantasies about other kids from our school. It didn't make any of them creepy, it was part of their development. If it was usual teenage stuff then I think overreacting would be unfair on this kid - but as I say, without knowing the content or even further context it's hard to make a call.

This is seriously confusing. What has actually happened to your daughter?

This sounds like a diary. Like his personal interactions and pictures of what the school day or upskirting its very different things. Calling him creepy doesnt help anyone.

Like a diary? A kind of “today I spoke to Lucy In year 9” type thing?

Hard to say, I dont understand the OP.

So he had an online diary about interactions with girls? That's what I'm getting from the post but it isn't all that clear.
No one would bat an eye if a girl was writing about their interactions with boys in a diary. I know it was pretty common amongst girls when I was a teenager. We even wrote 'top 10s' rating boys on their looks.
If it is how it reads, you're overreacting and it seems like adults bullying a child, talking about him being 'creepy' and egging on their children to be mean.

What’s the creepy behaviour?

The kids have labelled it as creepy behaviour because of the language used in the notes. Its not just interaction between with girls its also noting down which girl was in the neighbourhood and how it made him feel.

pics were not intimate but having a folder of 10-15 girls by name and pics saved from school’s media as well ones he clicked with the phone was disturbing for these teenagers

I’m shocked that the school is brushing this incident under the carpet and asking girls to not believe the “rumours “ .

The school threatened all kids with suspension for circulating the screenshots and now say there is no evidence of any wrongdoing.

Yes me too
I’d phone them and ask for their advice and say you aren’t happy how school are handling things.

I very much doubt they were intimate pictures. The boy keeping them and the boy who shared them would both be reported to the police if that was the case.

Because there isnt. If it was a girl who done this would you be up in arms.

Well the girls don't have to interact with anyone they don't want to, but it does sound like he hasn't done anything wrong, some people ruminate things in their minds and others like to write it down. It's definitely an invasion of privacy to have your diary shared by someone else.
I think the sharer is the one to blame for the whole situation

So the pics were not intimate (thank goodness) was the language he used about the girls sexual?

He saved pictures that were readily available on the school website, not sure what is wrong with that. He then wrote (diary style) about how he felt about them, then someone stole his iPad and circulated this around school.

is that right?

My diary from when I was 15, is all about how I felt about various boys.

Well there isn't any evidence of wrong doing. Only from the person who accessed someone else's iPad and shared their info. You say school are saying not to believe rumours too. Is it possible the information shared was edited or written by someone else as a way to humiliate the child and have multiple children and adults join in with bullying him?

I think it is pretty creepy to have an electronic cut and pasted wank bank with pictures of girls he knows, plus annotations.

I don't understand the AIBU though. Why contact the head?

Im pretty sure that girls (including myself) used to log the best looking boys in their diaries. Then compare notes about what it would be like to kiss them etc. Would anyone of deemed that weird and creepy or would they just think its teenage girls fantasies?