A man unlocked a changing room door whilst I was inside. Health club

[GymClassZero]

I went to my gym and used the disabled changing and shower room (it also has a toilet). I have mobility issues and need the aids provided here. The room is between the male and female changing rooms and can be accessed from both sides, so both doors need to be locked from inside.

I locked both doors and was getting ready to shower. While I was inside, I heard men talking on the other side of the door. One tried the handle, it was locked. He said to his friend he wanted to use the room. Another man said ‘there might already be someone in there because the door is locked’. The first man then said words to the effect of, ‘Nah, fuck the women, it’s been left locked. I’m going in there’.

Seconds later, I watched the lock unwind as it was being manipulated from the outside. He opened the door while I was inside in my swimwear. He was surprised to see me in there. I shouted at him to get out, got dressed and reported it immediately.

The gym has investigated. They’ve accepted the member accessed the disabled changing room inappropriately but they are not banning him. They say he has been spoken to and warned not to use that facility again.

They’ve also said they are replacing the locks to something more up to date than the current basic lock, and reviewing the signage on the doors.

I’m glad they’re changing the locks, but I’m angry that this is being partly framed around confusion, signage and lock issues

He was warned someone might be inside. The door was locked.

He could have knocked and waited. Instead, he chose to interfere with a locked private changing room door and enter.

I’m left feeling pretty upset and a bit traumatised by the whole incident. I really don’t want to bump into him again in the gym As he’s quite intimidating. I’ve seen him in the gym, he’s quite loud and has a certain vibe about him.

I also found out there have been previous issues with this changing room setup, which makes me even more concerned.

AIBU to expect stronger action from the gym, and to feel that a warning is not enough in these circumstances?

ideally I’d like to see him banned as it was an accident.

(The gym have confirmed he is not disabled and should not be using the disabled facilities).

A swipe card system could be used. At Centre Parcs (and at a local museum) the Changing Places bathroom can only be accessed by an activated swipe card. I needed to register my little boy's disability (I showed his DLA claim letter) at the museum for our admission card to have access to the Changing Places added.

You're misappropriating the term victim blaming. If he has done something, any discussion of how it could be avoided would be victim.blaming because nothing justifies someone assaulting you. You're not a victim of anything in a misunderstanding where he was surprised to find her and then left.

Its not his fault the door doesnt lock properly, i understand you dont want to be seen naked if indeed you were naked but most people at a pool and gym are semi naked anyway or naked in the changing rooms, to say you are traumatised is over reacting

There is no victim.
There's been no crime.
It's a mistaken walk in.

No one gains by making more of this than it is.

When you heard the man talking on the other side why didn’t you say ‘this is occupied, you need to wait’??? Easy isn’t it……just use your voice.

This happens so often - not just with accessible loos - happened to me this week! The door is very clearly engaged and people still try the door. But I always shout and say "I am in here".

Sometimes if I am feeling really irritable I will say "it says engaged on the door" when I come out.

I think the point here is that he was warned someone might be in there, said f them and tried the door anyway. I don't think that was just rude or stupid, I think that was predatory. He knew damn well that there was likely to be a naked(ish) female in there.

I don't know, I think the fact that he was warned someone was likely to be in there but considered that they didn't matter and swore about it makes it more than just being annoying.

He unlocked a locked door from the outside using a coin or similar. It wasn't a simple mistaken walk in at all.

It locks properly. He overrode the lock (a facility which is there is case of emergencies) having been warned there could be someone in there. He wasn't entitled to use the bathroom anyway. How much more does this man have to dp wrong before you stop making excuses for him.

He thought it was empty. The OP made that clear. He said so, and was surprised to find it occupied.

It was a mistaken walk in.

Theres nothing to be gained by making a victim out of the OP.

Absolutely nothing mistaken about it and not a walk in.

The OP explained "i do have a mild brain injury and so my speech is a little delayed. This, along with not being up for a fight, probably contributed to my lack of words."

Most people don't expect locked doors to be broken into.

Except OP made it clear that the conversation between him and the other man wasn't that there was someone definitely in there, and that the opener was convinced someone had left just one side locked as often happens. You've leaped to it being predatory which makes no sense from him being surprised to find someone in there.

Maybe she's from where you're from where it's a weird thing to show any indication you're using a room - where is that again?

On what evidence have you decided this man walked in knowing the room was occupied?

The OP makes it clear the man thought the room was unoccupied.

And again, what's to be gained by painting the man as a predator and the woman as the victim?

It was a mistaken walk in, thats it.

The Op didn’t do anything wrong but she says he was surprised to see her there.

Again, the lock is the accepted indicator. I'm in Australia. Maybe our locks work better so we don't feel the need to also tell people the locked toilet is occupied. At least I know if I visit the UK to call out 'it's occupied' if someone tries the locked door or they make take it open themselves to force the lock.

Oh goodness.

I don’t get how he was able to open it or why he would say “fuck the women”?

You've never ever had an experience where the door appeared lock but actually was vacant and still slightly caught in place? Or where the occupied indicator isn't entirely visible and you can't tell the door is definitely locked without giving it a little push. I think it's really rude that neither of you would say anything out of courtesy in that situation.

He should have knocked and waited but I would have yelled “I’m in here” if I saw somebody trying to open the door of a bathroom I was in.

I didn't. He was warned the loo may well be occupied. He ignored this and overrode the lock. He wasn't entitled to use the loo anyway as it was a disabled loo and he wasn't disabled. How much more of a predatory fuckwit do you need him to be?

I have lived in Australia and Australian toilet locks can have issues too.
Even over in Australia I have had situations where I had to cal out “I’m in here”. But that was Queensland, NSW and Vic. Maybe toilets are perfect in your specific state.

Fgs she clearly said his mate said it might be occupied and the opener said he thought the women's side door had been left open while they didn't unlock the second door. You're leaping to try and make it that he had accepted someone was in there when that's not clear at all, especially when someone listening to the whole convo of the opposing opinions of the men doesn't say anything or give any sound of someone using the room. We also don't know he has no entitlement to use the room.

The lock does work properly. It locks the door. The door was locked.