A man unlocked a changing room door whilst I was inside. Health club

[GymClassZero]

I went to my gym and used the disabled changing and shower room (it also has a toilet). I have mobility issues and need the aids provided here. The room is between the male and female changing rooms and can be accessed from both sides, so both doors need to be locked from inside.

I locked both doors and was getting ready to shower. While I was inside, I heard men talking on the other side of the door. One tried the handle, it was locked. He said to his friend he wanted to use the room. Another man said ‘there might already be someone in there because the door is locked’. The first man then said words to the effect of, ‘Nah, fuck the women, it’s been left locked. I’m going in there’.

Seconds later, I watched the lock unwind as it was being manipulated from the outside. He opened the door while I was inside in my swimwear. He was surprised to see me in there. I shouted at him to get out, got dressed and reported it immediately.

The gym has investigated. They’ve accepted the member accessed the disabled changing room inappropriately but they are not banning him. They say he has been spoken to and warned not to use that facility again.

They’ve also said they are replacing the locks to something more up to date than the current basic lock, and reviewing the signage on the doors.

I’m glad they’re changing the locks, but I’m angry that this is being partly framed around confusion, signage and lock issues

He was warned someone might be inside. The door was locked.

He could have knocked and waited. Instead, he chose to interfere with a locked private changing room door and enter.

I’m left feeling pretty upset and a bit traumatised by the whole incident. I really don’t want to bump into him again in the gym As he’s quite intimidating. I’ve seen him in the gym, he’s quite loud and has a certain vibe about him.

I also found out there have been previous issues with this changing room setup, which makes me even more concerned.

AIBU to expect stronger action from the gym, and to feel that a warning is not enough in these circumstances?

ideally I’d like to see him banned as it was an accident.

(The gym have confirmed he is not disabled and should not be using the disabled facilities).

So is it a unisex room that can be accessed from both the male and female changing rooms, you have to lock both doors when you go in?

That's a recipe for disaster, is there no way/space for there to be an accessible changing space in both the male/female rooms, I'd push for that if at all possible, although you might end up paired with the baby change.

I do. She reasonably thought that having found the door locked he wouldn’t try it again. He didn’t call out to ask if it was occupied. He then opened it suddenly and unexpectedly.

Let’s not blame the blameless victim eh?

Are you suggesting he didn’t say this? How bizarre.

he was swearing and pacing up and down on the gym
floor. He had finished a weights session and was pumped up. as I said, he had a certain vibe.

in the locker room, i could very clearly hear his voice and he was swearing a lot. He had a rant about the disabled changing room, which amongst other things he said ‘fucking women always leaving it locked’. ‘No no i wanna fucking use it’

he was annoyed it was locked and he blamed the women for locking it. It is a bizzare set up.

Regardless , I was using it legitimately. He seemed to ignore the possibility it was actually in use.

Am I blaming? I’m asking a question.

There are 2 doors, it would be easy to forget to unlock the one you leave by.

It all happened quickly

he tried the door handle and it was locked. Not in a million years did I expect anyone to then manipulate the lock from the outside to open the door! I didn’t have time to think clearly and just grabbed a towel to try and cover up.
by Locking the door, I assumed I had taken reasonable steps to Secure the area and I wasn’t expecting to be in this position.

you could easily say ‘why didn’t he just knock’?

Well he didn’t make the post so how could I ask him?

Thank you! Exactly.
it’s a shame that a locked door isn’t enough to let someone know it was occupied!

Because there are two doors so it’s possible the other door to the women’s side is open and the men’s one locked. It being a disabled loo he seems to have assumed there was nobody in it but should have knocked.

I understand your upset OP. I think the gym should have given him a serious talking to - including the obvious and incredulous ‘why on earth didn’t you knock and call out?’, ‘Why didn’t you think about anyone who might be in there?’ - that everyone here would rightly ask.

Their responsibility is to make the situation safe by changing the locks and set-up.

They do need to address unsafe people too. They should be very aware of any further complaints about this man and act firmly if there’s further evidence he’s a danger.

I think in this case though there was too much room to blame the set-up and no reason to think he was trying to break in on someone deliberately - ‘just’ being wildly inconsiderate and selfish. They’re able to focus on fixing ‘stuff’.

Selfish inconsiderate behaviour can be dangerous in itself though. The concern is that they’re tending towards ‘oh, selfish, aggressive men are just like that, we have to work around them’.

It just seems like a ridiculously unworkable arrangement. One cubicle, with entrances from the male side and the female side? So that you have to remember to lock and then unlock the door you don't use every time?

It seems inevitable that people will frequently forget to unlock the door they don't use -- and. therefore, that other people will become more and more likely to suspect that there is an empty cubicle behind a locked door, and will try to enter.

That being the case, it isn't unreasonable to expect anyone inside to shout out that the cubicle is occupied.

It doesn't sound like the man was really at fault. ("Fuck the women" could be just a jocular remark.) I think the OP should complain about the bizarre set-up, not about the man.

Given that its a gym theres bound to be twats like this guy attending. All locks have to be unlockable from the outside- inc the disabled for obvious reasons... system relies on decency and common sense of both parties, nobody should be trying to open a locked door and if they do the person inside should be shouting 'I'm in here!'...
If you'd shouted I'm in here then I agree the guy should be banned. As it is he sounds like a twat but he clearly assumed the room wasn't occupied.
So you are both responsible for this happening.

He's obviously a bit of an arsehole but why is there absolutely zero self awareness from the OP, here?

You stood and listened to a full conversation about how he was going to come in. You stood and watched the lock being turned and you did...nothing. And now you're "traumatised" 🙄

You're a full ass grown up. If you're too intimidated by the world to say "occupied" from behind a closed door, then maybe a public gym with unisex changing areas aren't the place for you.

The OP isn't a "blameless victim" here - she's an adult person who stood by and did precisely nothing to avoid an avoidable, uncomfortable situation. It's clear from the conversation that the OP has relayed that the changing rooms being left locked is common place, hence him assuming it should be unlocked from his side.

You are both equally to blame. He should have knocked and you should have made your presence known. Then there would be no "trauma" for either of you.

Do you mean it would be reasonable to expect people to knock, then for the occupant to shout out WHEN someone knocks?

No-one can anticipate being broken in on.

She's relayed an entire conversation that she listened to about how he was going to open the door. She has told us herself that she expected to be "broken in on".

They don’t mean insert a coin like you do for a trolly or locker that you get back after. It’s more like a bathroom door in a house where there’s a slot in the lock on the outside that you can put a coin into to turn and open it.

So a person goes into the changing room and locks both doors. They finish getting ready then forget to unlock the other door, leaving by the one they came in through.

Although he sounds like an arse, and he should have knocked, he didn’t deserve to be banned. I know you say it happened quickly, but if I’ve been in a toilet cubicle and someone tries the handle, I immediately shout out that I’ll be out in a minute, or occupied. I don’t understand why you didn’t shout that when he tried the handle?

if it happens frequently that the men’s side remains locked when the women have used it, I understand his frustration. But the gym need to sort that! Maybe they need electronic locks like you get on a train where you press the button to lock the door - only this button would lock both doors and light up outside both to say occupied. Then you press the button to exit, which unlocks both doors. This means no need to rely on people remembering to lock and unlock both doors, no need for additional signage, no worries for someone in there that it can be opened from the outside. Obviously there needs to be a failsafe in the event of a power cut/emergency.

I can see how frightening this must of been for you. I’m surprised even tho you had time to look for something to cover up you didn’t think of just shouting out that it was occupied or pretend to cough… anything at all really.

OTOH I can see how frustrating it must be if the door is regularly left locked and you don’t know if it’s occupied or not. If you could hear him ranting and raving but did not make any indication that it was occupied it’s not a wild assumption on his part that the room was infact empty.

The gym has spoken to him, personally, I think this is adequate with the points I’ve made above. Another wrong move and I hope they would discontinue his membership.

I think the gym's response is proportionate. I can see why you're upset but - dick that he is - he clearly wasn't trying to break in on anyone (and it is difficult to understand why you could listen to him preparing to open the door but not say "oi stop".)

She said ‘it all happened in a few seconds, I didn’t have time to think clearly’.

But for all he knew, it was vacant and someone had simply forgotten to unlock the door on that side.

I really don't see what would be hard about shouting out that the room was occupied. The sound of someone trying a locked door isn't that unusual or scary.

Clearly that conversation plus the process of opening the door it was more than a few seconds.

What a crazy set up, the two door thing.

Why did you need to cover up if you were wearing swimwear?

That isn't what happened though.

This doesn't make sense though, I think we've all had a door open with no warning and you manage to garbel "some in here!!!" Right in the moment whereas OP has had them trying the door, listened to a conversation of the man complaining someone's left it locked and then start jimmying the lock and just...stood there?