To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

But that’s your choice. Not everyone wants to run or go to the gym. It sounds like you have more issues than she does. Just end the relationship, no great loss to her or you. You are different people and can’t seem to except that not everyone wants to do what you do.

OP, I get where you're coming from. This annoys me too.

I think a big part of the problem is social media obsession. I work with adults who barely sleep because they're on TikTok and Snapchat all night. Then they go to work exhausted and can't function properly because they're tired.

A lot of them don't seem to have much of a social life either. They sit at home watching Netflix while scrolling through their phones at the same time.

We live in a society where we're supposedly the most connected we've ever been, yet we're also the loneliest. We have more opportunities than any previous generation, yet so many people want to spend their entire lives indoors between four walls.

And then people respond with, "She's working, what's your problem?"

The problem is that there's more to life than just having a job. What concerns me most is the complete lack of interest in anything beyond that routine. No hobbies, no curiosity, no desire to explore, learn new things, meet people, travel, or experience the world. For some people, life seems to be work, scrolling, Netflix, sleep, and repeat.

I don't think we should be handing out medals just because someone can hold down a job and isn't claiming benefits. That's the bare minimum expected of most adults.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying a quiet life, but it's sad to see so many people with no interest in living a fuller one.

She works, so, no, sorry, that doesn't sound annoying to me. I know how hard that job is.

My neighbour doesn't work at all, gets up every day at 2 or 3pm, then all day from there you get Ibiza music blasting until midnight, while she sits at home singing along very loudly. THAT is something to get annoyed at. I WFH and don't expect the world to stop for me, but my partner and I are very quiet, and we expect her to reciprocate.

Yes it's annoying when people make fun of you going to the gym, and I get this too, a bit. "what, you SPIN, are you NUTS? Relax, have a wine instead!" No thanks, wine makes me physically ill. I'd rather work out.

But yes, as your friend works, I can't agree in this situation.

I suspect the OP won’t let the friendship drop as she likes to have someone around who she can feel superior to.

Oh no, a stranger on the internet thinks I’m lazy, my life is over 🙄

You seem Pre occupied by her why do you care what she thinks ? How can you "cut someone off" if you never see her because she lies on her bed on the internet?

She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time

Your friend sounds absolutely awful - why are you still friends with this twat?

I've noticed that lazy people often scoff at or insult those with healthy lifestyles - its cognitive dissonance because they know deep down they'll end up chronically unwell due to their choices but instead of facing it, they like to drag down those who do look after themselves. It's all due to insecurity.

I certainly wouldnt remain friends with someone who ridiculed me. Get rid of her.

The woman does work and plays with. children as part of her work!!

I work but don’t play sports or volunteer. I do clean and cook. I don’t like having an active social life. My only exercise is walking, but as I walk to and from walk, I don’t feel like going for a walk at the weekend unless I’m going somewhere. I live in a city so have chosen not to have a car and mainly walk.

People are different and it doesn’t suit everyone to be “busy” all the time. On a day off I am very content to stay in bed late and read a good book for the rest of the day!!!

This!

When you finish polishing your halo, OP, why don’t you tell your friend to stop commenting on the things you do. And you learn to stop getting so angry. You’ll be much happier when you get past it, I’m sure.

You sound like a busy person. Why are you wasting time complaining about someone you don't really like by the sounds of it? If she makes fun of you, then I wouldn't spend time with her. It doesn't matter what you think of her life and her choices.

She loves it doesn't she!

And interestingly OP you judge me for being lazy - I walk about 9-10 miles a day in the six hours I work - outdoors in all weathers - am I still lazy?

Absolutely unhinged post, this one. The woman works, supports herself, and pays her way. What's the problem, ffs?

You are insufferable!
You do you. Let others be. They’re none of your business.

I’m going to be. Definitely think she has a sense of inferiority as she does literally nothing but work for a short amount of time

Honestly OP sounds like one of those people who gets their kicks out of belittling others.

You both clearly don’t like each other. So move on. You’re going on about being so busy, but she’s living rent free in your head for some reason. She’s not wrong for how she wants to live her life, you’re just not compatible and both weirdly judgey of each other

Yawn. It does not make you morally superior because you’re a morning person. I think there have been studies to say that this can be genetic. She’s on a different schedule that’s all. And her job sounds utterly exhausting. I think best for both of you if you end the “friendship” as you talk about her with such disgust.

You might find you have a happier life if you stop being so judgemental too.

What is your job ?. Do you really think your "friend " negotiated her work hours so she could lie in her bed?

For most of us, the bar is higher than just being able to have a job—most adults do that.

It is concerning to me that I see so many young adults with a social media obsession and very little life beyond it.

There is a big difference between having a quiet life and having no interest in anything at all. Unfortunately, I see the second one more often lately, and it is sad.

This “leave me alone, it’s none of anyone’s business” attitude is exactly how we end up with no community or support systems at all—and the fact that people are increasingly embracing that idea is very worrying.

Sounds like the friend is being just as judgmental by ridiculing and mocking the OP for not laying in bed all day

People who are busy all the time are causing a much greater environmental impact!!!

You don’t live with her so who cares? If my adult children were in bed most of the time I’d be concerned as that’s usually a sign that they’re feeling mentally unwell.

However, you say this woman has no health issues and so let her live how she wants.

its not the way I’d want to live, but I understand the attractiveness of being ‘safe’ in your home.

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here
Yeah, you do.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning
She has a different sleep pattern to you. I also sleep on a similar schedule to her.
She works hard as a nursery assistant.
She shouldn't be ridiculing you for having hobbies. You shouldn't be judging her.
If she wants to spend her spare time in bed scrolling on her phone that's her choice.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends
You obviously don't understand that not everyone is a morning person. Some people work better on a different schedule.

She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness
It's her choice to do that. If she wasn't working that would be a different story but she has a job and has chosen a shift pattern to suit her.

I think you should do her a favour and let this "friendship" slide because you obviously don't like her and her ridiculing you for your lifestyle isn't on either.

I actually don't think you are totally unreasonable. I get that people are "night owls" but I don't think it is healthy to this extent. I think lack of structure can lead to struggles mentally