To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

You do you.

You have no idea how draining it is working with children, especially little ones. The constant clamour and demands for attention, needing to be alert at all times, implementing behaviour management, coping with and providing for SEN children, dealing with entitled parents, following regulations. Try a day in her shoes and then you might understand why she's wiped out and likes to relax at weekends, instead of sneering down your nose at her and writing spiteful posts online.

Actually, scrap that and do her a favour and end the friendship. She deserves nicer people in her life.

I had one parent very much like you up at the crack of dawn doing the gym, hobbies, work and different things his day was completely busy. Drawing curtains back, telling me to get up, washed and dressed and giving me jobs to do or places to go.
My other parent was like your friend lay in bed well beyond a reasonable time, never up, washed and dressed till 3pm in the afternoons etc... Only working part time as well. Just watching TV mainly and staying up late into the night.
I'm very much like you now and tend to make the most of my day. It was very annoying living with my Mum.

A friend of mine has a husband who is a morning person. He is also an asshole when discussing people who are not. I have never heard a night owl talking about morning people as if they are morally deficient, so really don't understand the "holier than thou" attitude of people who naturally wake early. You are just different.

Working with kids is absolutely exhausting, so I don't blame her for resting when not working!
What is your job OP?

Said AIBU because you sound a bit judgmental / intolerant, but it sounds like the friend just gets on your nerves generally

Oh, have a bloody halo, and grow up while you're at it. You sound insufferable.

She shouldn't be ridiculing you, that's not on - but the same goes for you judging her. If she's spending that much time resting (although, newsflash, it's actually no one's business but hers how she spends her downtime) she may well have things going on medically that affect her energy levels, I strongly dispute she'd tell you if she did, if you're as judgemental as you sound.

Being busy and productive doesn't make someone a better human being if they're preaching, halo-polishing and sneering at others while they're at it.

I work in an office - but very mentally draining. Yes kids are hard but it’s part time.

It’s true though. Your language is just like a teenager!!! I thought you were an adult!!!!

Exactly this. Why is the OP completely downplaying her friend’s job! What an awful friend you are OP.

We still haven’t heard what you do as a job? Unless I’ve missed it? I’m guessing it’s also an active job as you claim to be active for over 8 hours a day.

Imagine if the OP comes back and says she has a desk job!

Your friend sounds like a slob but not sure why it grates. Her life, if she wants to waste it laying around, that’s her prerogative.

If she’s pissing you off, maybe end the friendship.

Maybe your friend has some underlying health issues mental or physical? Maybe she needs more rest and recovery because her job is extremely physically and emotionally demanding. She also probably doesn’t earn much as a nursery nurse and therefore doesn’t have loads of extra money for hobbies, gym, etc. I used to have a friend like you - up at crack of dawn, sanctimonious about her busy life of gym, hobbies socialising - diary so full it was hard to ‘fit in a coffee’. Honestly she was utterly exhausting to be around. Someone unable to sit with their thoughts or introspect, who prefers to judge others, it not a good candidate for a friend. Why would you be friends with someone you dislike this much? Just end it.

Ahh here we go. Staggering! So you are sat down all day. Mental fatigue is completely different to physical fatigue. Of course you have energy to go to the gym and run after sitting in an office all day.

So, you met one person who happened to be an arsehole and likes getting up early, therefore everyone who gets up early is automatically a holier than thou arsehole?

And you are angry about people generalising about others based on the time they get up- isnt that exactly what you are doing? 😂

Six hours a day is not part-time when you're working with kids. Putting aside the work they do outside their directed hours, teachers are only in classrooms six hours a day – does that make them part-timers too?

Sitting on your arse, toned though it may be, in an office all day is a breeze by comparison.

You have no idea how mentally draining working with kids is.

YABU. It's none of your business! Let her do what she wants and you carry on with your own life. None of us know for sure other people's circumstances and she could be battling a health condition for all you know. Chill out and bit and stop being so judgmental.

She does work in an office.

Are you at work now?

Physically and mentally- yet the OP completely dismisses it and says she works part time.

I spend a lot of time with kids. No excuse to spend 17+ hours a day in bed!

Be honest OP. This woman is not your friend is she. Friends do not talk about each other in such a way.

Why ? Due to having a long lie on her day's off. The OP's friend sounds like someone who has a hardworking job. She just enjoys her days off in a different way from the OP. OP sounds smug and judgey.

Having worked in an office and in nursing (including childcare as part of that) I can tell you hands down looking after people, especially children, is by far the most exhausting.
However, rather than the two of you winding each other up, perhaps just agree to disagree, shake hands, and go your separate ways.
Sounds like neither of you get on with the other.