To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

Have you tried working in a nursery? Or do you have a superior job too?

It's really hard work being with babies and toddlers for 6 hours a day. While her ridiculing you is really not on, your ridiculing of her is really not on either.

Of course you ABU .
Your friend obviously has a different sleep pattern to you .She sleeps 7-8 hrs and works full time in a physical job.
I dont think it reasonable to say thats lazy.
It seems that you think because her free time isn't spent on exercise that make her lazy.
Why does it "grate" that your friend doesn't seem to do the amount of exercise you do?

Be slow to judge

I don’t find people who sleep in late annoying. What I used to find really really annoying were lazy people at work. People who almost expected to be spoon fed. With zero initiative. Who had no drive and pride. Who did the bare minimum.
Such people I failed to understand. They were paid well, had good terms and conditions and were no way over burdened. At all. They were just fundamentally lazy.

There's an evolutionary reason some people are night owls. They'd have been the ones keeping watch at night when everyone else was asleep. We no longer need to watch out for rival tribes or predators who want to eat us, but that thing is a hangover.

There's also nothing lazy about teenagers sleeping more, growth spurts, hormonal changes, etc, take it out of you. When toddlers have a longer sleep because they're having a growth spurt they don't get called lazy!

I used to manage two members of staff in an office job. One was a 'morning lark' and started at 7:30, and the other was a 'night owl' and started at 10:00. Both did their hours, both worked hard and did a good job (i was a very lucky and grateful manager).

But what really pissed me off was that, for some reason, the one who worked the earlier shift was somehow seen as more virtuous, and the later worker was seen as a bit lazier. Why? They both did exactly the same amount of work (in fact the later worker was a bit more capable of more complicated tasks)! It just came down to their individual metabolisim and natural sleeping patterns, i wanted to play to their strengths by allowing them to work their optimal hours, and it worked really well.

In my current role i used to cycle to work 7 miles and be the first one in the office, but in the last 3 years (since perimeno took over) i've been going in much later on the bus. I didn't get lazy, it's just my natural cycles and metabolism have shifted. I'm not going to fight it or feel bad about myself, i know that things will settle down once my hormones get back into balance. Don't judge OP, bc i can almost guarantee that your current 'virtuous' morning lark sleep cycle won't necessarily always be the way your body operates, and you'll realise that motivation and will power actually have very little to do with it. Hormones are bloody powerful things.

I don’t think YABU on the basis she has the nerve to ridicule you.

Perhaps she’s jealous of your get up and go attitude to life.

Each to their own but her life does sound very boring for someone so young.

People who are evangelical about getting up early to do busy-work (especially ‘going to the gym’ 🙄) are so insufferably dull.

Your friend deserves better.

Big deal, I’m an early bird, I wake up early and I’m up for work. I’m a nurse so I guess ingrained to be up early for work, also did nights so quite liked a lie in on days off.

i tend to get knackered and will sometimes have a wee afternoon snooze 💤 on my days off, on the couch though not in bed. I have no thyroid menopausal etc I couldn’t give a fig what anyone else thinks about that. I’m not lazy I get done what needs to be done. Work hard at work.

You say this is your friend? Some friendship that is. You let her ridicule you, for whatever reason, and you call her lazy so really you’re the same. Either accept you’ve got different lifestyles and energy levels or find other friends,

Being on your feet with kids all day is exhausting.

I think larks are so lazy. Imagine already being in bed by 11pm, when you could still be alert and doing stuff for hours yet. I find lazy larks really grating. Any functional adult should be up until at least 2am.

Do you see how ridiculous you sound?

You don't like her, she doesn't like you. It happens. Time to let the non-friendship die a natural death.

BTW, I am also a gym goer. It makes me healthier. Not morally superior.

Some people have such a weird puritanical streak.

Fucking hell, glad you're not my friend. Are you jealous cos you can't work 6 hours a day?

Nursery work involves an awful lot of bending, stretching, lifting and general running around, non-stop. I'm prepared to bet that your friend gets more of a physical work-out than you do every day of the week, for all your time in the gym or running.

Karma will get her eventually in the form of obesity, arthritis etc. Honestly, just find better friends.

I’m 37, don’t have kids and only work six hours a day - I’m currently bed rotting on a week day too - I wonder what you’d think of me 😂

Physical, but only 5.5 hours a day when you count in lunch breaks. Meanwhile I do 8 hours a day, gym, run, everything else, and she judges me.

I feel this depends more on whether OPs job pays more than her’s.

Lazy, to be honest, and a little embarrassing to be proud of it.

Ordinarily I’d say “let her do her”
but if she’s ridiculing you, that’s not on.

tell her to pipe down, she’s got no right to say anything about what you do when she doesn’t do anything bar scroll/work/sleep.

I agree. Do it today. I doubt she'll miss your "friendship".

I am a person who always has to be in the go. I have lots of hobbies and projects on the go, I can’t sleep in after 7.30am. Sometimes I wish I could be lazy and just relax. I have nothing against those who can just come home from work and relax for the rest of the day/evening, and nothing against those who can stay in bed until 10am…….it’s just not something I can do. I don’t think your friend is lazy, she works hard and wants to spend her spare time relaxing rather than going to the gym or taking part in hobbies. Technically her hobby is relaxing, maybe she games or watches movies?

Why are you friends?
You don't like what she does
She doesn't like what you do
What's the point?

This is all a bit of a stretch. 😂

If the friend has genuine health problems that prevent her from working in future then of course she will be entitled to benefits.

Why do you let her?