To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

Who says you’re ’doing better’? According to what metric? In 100 years you’ll both be dead and no one will care how many pointless runs round the pavement you went on or how many cushions your cross stitched.

Why does this annoy you so much? She’s obviously saying all this to wind you up. If you’re secure in your choices then what is the issue? It sounds like you have zero in common - she finds you annoyingly sanctimonious and worthy and you find her lazy. I would just zone her out. Maybe tone down the worthy attitude though as it can annoy people.

Well of course being active is better (as a 64 year old I know) and in my 20s, even though I’d describe myself as lazy I was certainly up and about and doing stuff (no internet back then)! Work/scrolling is no life. But you know, live and let live. If she starts moaning that she’s bored or can’t meet a partner then you can remind her that Prince/Princess Charming is not going to find her in her bed…

Why on earth would you care 😂 - unless she’s more than a friend and you want to pursue a relationship with her, I don’t see how she lives her life is any concern of yours 🤷🏼‍♀️

Exactly this. People take life waaaay too seriously. Everyone should just do as they please and not judge others.

This actually made me laugh out loud. So true 🤣

I want to know where the definition of adult came from. The friend IS an adult which is why she can choose to lol about in bed if she wants to.

She’s on her feet for 6 hours a day. OP is sat at a desk 8 hours a day. I wouldn’t say the friend is not active…

She isn't lazy she works Monday to Friday looking after other people's kids for her whole shift. I'm guessing she has no kids of her own if she's staying in bed until 3pm on a weekend and in bed til 10am during the week. Just because she's not up at the crack of dawn like you are doesn't make her lazy. At least she's not laying around in bed waiting for her next benefit handout, she's actually working for her money..What's lazy is these dickheads choosing not to work because it's easier for them to keep getting free money off the government every month when they're actually capable of going out and earning it by working

She runs about after small children for 6 hours a day. By what definition have you decided she's not active?

I'm an adult woman with a responsible job and love a morning lying in bed scrolling on my phone! My DP who I live with is away at the moment, and last Sunday I got up about 9am, fed the cat, got some washing on, then went back to bed with a cup of tea and stayed there (the cat joined me) pottering about online for a couple of hours (obviously got up to make fresh tea). I then got up properly, sorted the washing, showered, and went and did a reformer Pilates class at lunchtime.

I like a late night/late morning ideally - I am usually up at 6.45 for work and bed by midnight but I'd prefer to go to bed later and start work later. I have a friend who is in bed at 9.30 most days, up at 5, I honestly think both are fine - she's a lark, I'm an owl.

I’m lazy. It grates on me sometimes. But then I find my next book or box-set and get over myself.

The fact you both ridicule one another, like some petty competition to see who can be the biggest b*tch...

You both need to grow up. Like I tell my children - Knock it off.

That’s true. I think working with kids sounds like a nightmare, I’d go for my desk job any day.

Is she your only friend, OP? You sound very tightly wound up. Perhaps the odd lie in wouldn’t do you any harm.

And go to work

She works in a nursery looking after other people's kids she's not sitting around doing nothing for her whole shift. She's planning activities and changing wet and shitty nappies. She's feeding these kids too and keeping them all safe so that their parents get their kids looked after in a safe environment whilst they work. She's far from lazy. You say she's judging you but you're judging her for not getting up at 7am on her days off work, she doesn't have to

It's not very nice of your friend to be openly judging how you spend your time but you're judging her back so this sounds like a friendship to gently let go as it sounds like you're not very fond of each other.

I did vote YABU though as you keep saying about being an adult not a teenager. Being a morning person over a night owl doesn't give you any sort of superiority and makes you sound a bit childish, sorry.

Listen, you do you. That's all you have at your disposal.
I will say that you sound a lot like my MIL, who was always up at the crack of dawn and had harsh words for anyone still in their pit by 8 am. It wasn't an endearing character trait. People will do their own thing, and only think badly of you for your unwanted judgement. Drop it.

I’m in bed now. And you sound like a bit of an idiot

I think we are soul mates, ScholesPanda 😆

I suspect what she's mocking you for isn't genuinely the fact that you're 'productive'. She's doing it to wind you up.

You're so smug and superior and so full of yourself about what a sensible, productive grown-up you are that she's very clearly winding you up on purpose in retaliation. Which to be honest, is exactly what I would want to do to someone who is judgemental and uptight.

It's interesting that you think your friend is immature because to me, you sound like a teenage mean girl who wants to start a bitchfest with her mates about a girl she's fallen out with.

You don't like your 'friend' and haven't got a single good word to say about her, and this thread is just unpleasant. Grow up and stop being 'friends' with people you clearly actively dislike. You're not in Year 10.

Why do you care what other people do?! If you were as busy as you make out you’d have neither the time or energy.

Exactly this!! 👏👏

Surely having a happy life is the biggest marker of success.

Why is forcing yourself to do something that you don’t really enjoy something to be proud of, just because someone else has decided that’s what makes them happy.

There will be people looking down their nose at OP because she hasn’t chosen to have children yet and she’s out ‘wasting her time’ on the gym and socialising, instead of being at home cooking and cleaning for a husband and kids.

As long as people are contributing to society and not committing crimes, let them live how they want to.

Maybe she doesn’t want to find Prince Charming right now.

Is that what women should do - do things to only find a man.

She has a busy, active job and prefers her own company during her time off.

If she was looking for a man then she’d be more likely to find one online using a dating app, rather than at the gym or sewing anyway.