To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

Just wonder what you want from this thread @myothersockis

Loud cheers for OP and round condemnation of the poor “friend”?

I would say that being adult also should mean that you have acquired a wider understanding of how people vary and the possible reasons for that, and that you can show empathy rather than rushing to judgment.

I don’t know your friend but it is possible she has a naturally delayed sleep phase, is neurodiverse or has some other challenge that you would not see, and even she may not fully understand. That doesn’t mean she should be having a go at you about your habits, but maybe she is joking about it as a way of trying to accept it, being defensive rather than really seeing her ways as superior, or perhaps she is reacting to perceived judgment from you. If you try to set aside her having a go at you, there is not much to find ‘grating’.

Her way of life is not superior to yours but it isn’t inferior. The fact that you see your actions as so much better and more productive doesn’t mean they really are. In fact if you hit serious health issues, and to correct your earlier implication all the healthy food and exercise in the world doesn’t mean you won’t, you are at risk of losing self esteem through being unable to perform all these things that you think define superiority.

Since you clearly dislike her 😂, she annoys you, and you probably contribute negatively to her life, letting this relationship end seems a win win. Just as you go forward try to be a bit more open minded, and to also go easy on yourself if you can’t one day do all the things you feel are so tied to a person’s value.

What makes you better than her? Because you fill your whole life with stuff. Do you ever have any downtime?

I go to the gym, I don't see it as something that makes me better than someone who doesn't.

Maybe spend less time filling your spare time with things and then you'd have time to work on that chip on your shoulder.

It's sad that your 'friend' and her life choices have such an impact on you. You sound very angry. She ridicules you - fine, let her. Some of your comments sound like you are actually a little jealous of her cba attitude to life.

Just leave her to crack on. You obviously think your life and life choices are so much better than hers so why are you
a. bothering with her at all and
b. allowing her to make you so mad?

Just let her live her life and you live yours.

You’d fucking hate me. I haven’t worked full time since I had my eldest at 28 (37 now) I haven’t worked at all in 2 years and I often don’t get out of bed until gone 11 on a morning, DH takes eldest to school and me and youngest stay sleeping!

I actually can’t stand morning people who think they’re superior cos they’ve been up and to the gym and eaten avocado on toast by 7am. Go do one and get a McDonald’s

Surprised you have any friends at all with this level of judgement. Mind your own

Up at half five and run everywhere?
Congratulations you're a toddler.

It's also true that the less you do, the less you can do

see all the threads about SOME retired people who have a "busy exhausting" week because they have to go to the post office and have 2 appointments in the week 😂

Same with exercise

but if you both look down at each other, how can you possibly be friends, and why?

You sound very judgemental - it's her life, just let her get on with it. You're both adults with their own priorities and interests. Not sure what you have in common to continue being friends.

Still hours left over for @myothersockis to mumsnet it would seem

Please do your 'friend' a favour and cut her off OP.

With you on this. Recipe for disaster and her parents have done her a disservice by not instilling a good work ethic. Not exactly going to contribute to society and if she has children in the future, she’ll be a shocking role model to them. It’s a sad way of living.

why do you care? If it has no impact on you and your friendship, then genuinely why do you care?

You sound unhappy

She's not your friend OP, or at least, you are not hers.
In fact, you seem to dislike her so much that I doubt she's 'ridiculing' you at all. Whatever your issue with this person, just stop interacting with her. Cannot understand why you haven't already

She works 30 hours a week?

"Atleast I am doing better than her" get off your moral high horse.

Just stop being friends with her you obviously don't like her and by the sounds of it she doesn't like you much either. Move on, she's currently living rent free in your head I've you've managed to shout "she's lazy!" on so many comments. 🙄😂

Couldn't agree more. Why do larks feel so superior to owls as if wanting to stay in bed after 7am is some sort of moral failing? I have tried to change my body clock but it really doesn't work. I do feel that 3pm is far too late, though, and perhaps this young lady could find something more productive to do with her time but this whole post is coming across as very judgmental and that the op feels that she has her life together and that her way is the only way.

Have you actually bothered reading the thread?

She doesn’t have children and she works.

On the weekends she chooses to have a lie in (like OP does).

She’s also an introvert and prefers to stay at home on the weekends, rather than go out socialising.

Christ, op, this is so bloody nasty. Horrible post to read.

Also how do you really know that there are no mental health problems? You have no idea what people are going through regardless if they say they are fine. I have been through periods of behaving like this and turned out to be undiagnosed ADHD and low level depression.

Even my toddlers did not get up at half five. I like my sleep thank you!

She might not be as productive as you but I’d bet she’s a darn sight happier with her life 🙄

Nobody who was happy with their lot would feel the need to be so horrible and judgemental about a so called friend, particularly when it has literally has no impact on your life.

If you are thinking about this as much as it would lead you to write a post on mumsnet, would suggest that you do, in fact have too much time on your hands.