To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

The OP has made it clear she isn't remotely concerned about the friends lifestyle, but finds it 'grating' instead.

And shut down any suggestion of the friend having MH issues or ND by claiming she'd let everyone know if she id because she's such a terrible person and liar that pretended to be injured after an accident which the OP didn't think was serious.

OP has just been vile and vitriolic. Bellitling the friends job among other things even going as far as to calculate how much time she actually works minus breaks.

Edit - and the nasty, uncalled for comment that she hopes the friend doesn't plan to have children.

There's no concern demonstrated. Just plain nastiness and judgement.

Well it’s not full time is it?

She’s also not depressed. Just lazy.

Equally, OP did not approach the discussion with an open mind and try to understand the differences in her friends approach to life. She accused her friend of being lazy. People who judge others and claim their own life choices are superior should be challenged. OP has been challenged and rightly so.

Read my post- it's not the time he gets up that makes him an asshole. It's the sneering at people who don't get up early. Which attitude I have heard from other early risers but not fro late to bed people. The only anger here is coming from you.

How would we know? We can read!

How do I know? Because nothing she says shows any concern at all! It's all judgement, sneering and complaint. The only thing she's concerned about is that the friend doesn't share OP's view of herself as superior.

Ffs. Would you like to buy a bridge?

ETA: She's just denied any suggestion that friend is depressed and says she's just lazy. Come on, you know she's not acting out of concern, stop pretending.

I don't believe you're friend is in bed until 3pm. I think she sees that it's you texting and thinks 'oh, not this insufferable twat, what can I say to make her fuck off?'

I'd imagine this happens a lot- do you find yourself calling on friends and family and there's no answer, but is that feet sticking out from behind the sofa? Acquaintances from work leaping into shop doorways when they see you running?

In guessing your volunteering is with vulnerable people who have no choice but to spend time with you listening to your inane ramblings about strava.

The irony. She’s not the one bitching and whinging on MN about her “friend”.

Sitting on your arse in front of a screen full time is much easier than some part time jobs. You really are quite insufferable OP. I would recommend a bit of travel to widen your life experiences and emotional intelligence.

Try spending 6 hours on the trot looking after babies / toddlers / very small children and see how you do OP

I have heard sneery comments from night owls actually - laughing at others for going to bed early and calling them boring etc But I dont generalise about them all or say that all night owls do that.

I agree that everyone has different body clocks.

This is like the driving threads where people think you can't be an adult unless you drive.

The op would love me. I'm a non driving, night owl.
I'm still in bed now. I'll get up in 5 mins to go to a meeting. I probably will go to the gym for an hour later.
I love my bed, its my favourite place to be in the house.

If you think OP is so vile, then why are you engaging?
It’s clearly either entertaining to you, or you just enjoy judging and being rude to people in the same way you claim OP does. So how exactly are you different?

Away for a run Op, release some of that anger.

Yet here you are on a website bitching about your friend because she has a different attitude to life than you!

I love a long lie at the weekend and a lazy day is even better.

And yet her life has nothing to do with you. At all.

Of course it's entertaining, this whole forum is about engaging.
Read the ops posts and come back and show me where she's shown any concern about her friend.
Also, vile is your word not mine. I think she's a judgemental arse who lacks understanding that not everyone has to be exactly like her to be a worthwhile human being, I don't think she's vile.

But is the gym really what you can honestly call "productive"? So many threads on here where mums get pissed off with dads who slope off to the gym for a self-indulgent session while they battle on with the dc.

I personally find the gym a rather mindless "hobby." If you want to be productive, there are lots of ways to tone your body and up your fitness that don't involve sweating in a room with other people sweating in a room and no real productive outcome. Offer to help someone move house, do housework or gardening for an elderly local, walk people's dogs. Be a useful person.

I know people like you, who get up really early and feel it is some kind of moral achievement. Also people who feel the gym is a kind of badge of "better humanness."

In short, they are not traits that impress me.

People have different circadian rhythms, which is about all it comes down to. You are probably getting tired and crashing in bed when many of us are still sitting up burning the midnight oil on a spreadsheet or similar. Maybe we see that as lazy?

Where I will agree with you is socials are a total waste of time. Like MN which I use to distract myself when swapping between tasks and am trying to stop ... But the bedtime thing is neither here nor there. You sound smug and a bit small-minded tbh.

Op just imagine for a minute that the normal work day was from 12pm til 8pm, then you have evening activities and need to cook a meal etc so the earliest you can go to bed is around 1-2am, just imagine how knackered and out of rhythm you'd be as a morning person, that's how night owls feel every single day of their lives.

Getting up at 10am for a 12 start at work and going to bed at 1 or 2 in the morning would be absolutely spot on for me, I'd probably be about 50% more productive if that was the case. Unfortunately it's not, so I spend the majority of the working day (especially the morning) yawning my head off and longing for my bed. Then by the time 11pm rolls around I'm staring at the ceiling for 3 hours because my body has decided this is the time when my energy levels will be at their peak.

I'm absolutely horrified at the entire nation of Australia being such terrible lazy arses, because the vast majority of them are just 'rotting in bed' whilst I am at work!!

You sound like you really despise her - just because you have different interests.

There are no lazy Nursery assistants. It is a very demanding job mentally and physically. She recognises that she needs to chill and rest on her time off.

OK, so what if she's lazy? We all have our flaws, real or perceived. She's lazy, you're petty, sneery and judgemental. Live your life how you want and maybe don't judge other people when their lifestyle has no impact on your own.

Improved strength, cardiovascular fitness, mobility, bone density and mental health seem like fairly productive outcomes to me.

It's absolutely fine if the gym isn't your thing, but that doesn't make it mindless or self-indulgent any more than reading a novel, gardening or browsing Mumsnet.

But we all have different views on that, don't we.

And there are lots of ways to achieve health outcomes. Gyms are a relatively new invention in the history of humans because we stopped using our bodies productively and now simulate productive use in a purpose-designed location that achieves the health benefits but not the corollary tasks.