To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

Yep just saw that. It all becomes very clear.

I have a physical job. I actually don’t think people who sit in an office all day understand how exhausting being on your feet, being active and talking all day is.

You remind me of my mother. The constant judging of other people and elevating yourself. She acts as if there some award scheme being given out for people who behave like she does (up early, gym, salad eating, reads books, etc etc). The running monologue on how perfect she is versus everyone else... Exhausting to be around. I ll give you an example. I made her lunch last week - salad as I know she likes this. Made her bread, bought humus etc. she waxed lyrical about this how healthy it was. We helped ourselves. Then she started with "wow look at your portion versus mine - you eat at least three times as much as me". I call her on this crap all the time. I said "I wasn't aware it was a competition".

OP life isn't a competition. You are not going to get star of the week for your lifestyle. If you enjoy getting up early etc, then isn't it great that you have a life you enjoy. You'd probably enjoy it even more if you focused on yourself and tried not to be so competitive over trivial nonsense.

If she’s ridiculing you she’s probably self conscious and insecure about her own lifestyle. I’ve found this a lot in life. People who go out of their way to mock you for whatever it may be often wish they were the ones doing that/looked like you or whatever. For example I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and my mum said I’d got too skinny and had no bum, rather than just being nice and saying I looked good as everyone else did. It comes from insecurity and jealousy, nothing else.

Only because you've bought into the notion that we all need to be productive all the time.

If you don't like her, leave her alone.

OP if everyone had your schedule the gym would be too full to do a work out and the pavements/paths would be too full to run!

Embrace the differences! That's what makes us all unique.

Exactly how many hours a day do you spend with kids while doing all your other busy things?

One of the joys about being retired from employed work is that you can do as you wish and keep your own hours. Ive put my 40 plus years of work and taxes into the pot and been a net contributor all my life. So I feel not a shred of guilt at not being up at any particular time. I was up at 6am this morning. Other times I might not go to bed until 4 am and then sleep well into the morning. I do private online tutoring and my students often go home to different time zones so I may have to accommodate Singapore, Malaysia or Taiwan.

Is working with very young children every day wasting your life and lazy? Have you done it? Do we look down on nursery workers or applaud them? Come on the friend is not lying in bed all day. She has a very physical and mentally tiring job.

But the OP is better because she sits on her arse for 8 hours every day. But she goes for to the gym before work for an hour and sews in the evening. So she does more. Would love to compare their step count…

Oh yes: "the office "that definitely trumps care work as more important! So what if she works 6 hours, she is has to look after small people for those 6 hours be responsible for their safety etc etc, .but of courss it is "part time"

You are not friends,friends like each other, she is someone you know.

Having read the OP’s posts I am not entirely sure I believe her. I note there haven’t been any examples given… plus I strongly suspect this might be a deflection given the OP’s tone. Or she’s deliberately winding her up in which case good on her.

If you’re so busy why are you able to waste so much time on this thread?

That's pretty judgemental of you. Why should someone wake up at 8am even on weekends with four hours sleep just because you think it makes them seem like a 'proper adult'.

She shouldn't be ridiculing your hobbies but nor should you about how she spends her free time.

It's not healthy to be sleep deprived. If she stays up til 3am then she's not lazy to need/want 7/8 hours sleep. That's what's recommended as a minimum by most doctors?

How do you fit all this time in with kids?
In amongst all your healthy-lifestyle hobbies?!

I was wondering that too...

You spend a lot of time with kids? When? 😂. You are sat in an office all day and then in the gym or with friends.

Go spend a day in a nursery then come back on here and say she’s lazy.
Only she does that day in day out week after week. So there’s a cumulative tiredness. Of course she needs a bloody rest!

This need to be busy and productive is weird!!! Someone at my work is about to retire and she was constantly being asked what she will doing with her time!! People are telling her she should travel, volunteer, join groups etc. She told them she will wake up without an alarm and sit in her garden (weather permitting!) and drink a cup of tea and then see how the day unfolds!!

She is sat in an office in her mentally draining job.

What sort of judgemental things does she say to you about your lifestyle OP?

🤣🤣🤣

I don’t agree. For me personally, working in an office is a million times more draining than any physical work—we’re all different.

In my late twenties, I had a full-time physical job and studied full-time. I’m not expecting everyone to do the same (it was honestly insane!), but I do think it’s worrying when someone this young has a part-time job in childcare and is so exhausted that they have no life beyond that.

Sounds great. Good for her!

what's the real reason you hate her so much?

Oh yes, I forgot 😂

In between working her draining 8 hour day, spending time with kids, running, going to the gym and sneering, she must be exhausted!

Jealousy.

😂