Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know you will say I am but here goes.......

282 replies

Kimi · 23/06/2008 20:57

I am the one with the DH1 and the new DP
DH1 and I together 23 years 2 lovely kids then drifted apart.... Still love the the man to bits, just can't be a couple right now, we are however still a family and do a lot together see each other every day and get on so much better now.

I have a new DP who was a friend for a long time to DH1 and I, and who loves me and looks after me and my children and gets on well with DH1 (to whom I am still married)

Any way we did not shout our break up from the roof tops, friends and family know but a lot of people don't.

So DS2 is a beaver and as far as everyone at beavers knows Mr and Mrs Kimi are just that, there is one woman leader who has no concept of personal space and every time she speaks to DH1 she is about half and inch away and has to touch his arm, if you knew my DH1 you would know he does not like this.
So we have seen this woman a few times out side of beavers and she has been all DH1 this and DH1 that and has totally blanked me (I find this rude because as far as she knows I am his wife and we are happy).
She is also married so really should not be so um.... "friendly" with other men.
DH1 finds it uncomforitable and I find it bugs me.
A friend of mine who knows about the split says she is just like that, but I see her like that with DH1 more then any of the other dads.

I am not trying to have my cake and eat it, and I am not throwing my toys out of the pram but to put it bluntly she pisses me off by being so bloody rude, If I see anyone I know when I am out who is with their partner I will always acknowlage the partner too.

Talk some reason in to me please ladies.

OP posts:
Carmenere · 23/06/2008 21:54

Seriously Kimi, I reckon that you have not been as sucessful as you think in avoiding the gossips.

umberella · 23/06/2008 21:54

i don't think this was about the rudeness was it?

dittany · 23/06/2008 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dior · 23/06/2008 21:56

Message withdrawn

Carmenere · 23/06/2008 21:56

I have no idea why umberella seems so personally affronted at your domestic arrangements

ThinWhiteDuchess · 23/06/2008 21:56

Um, why is this woman being rude so important to you?? You probably only see her a couple of times a month. She ignores you. She speaks to your husband. She is a tad rude. But really, in the greater scheme of things what does it matter? Think yourself lucky if this is the only problem you have!

AngelDoll · 23/06/2008 21:57

Um, I would have to say you are overreacting to the rudeness. By the fact you are still going on about it like the last three pages haven't happened.

Original poster
Kimi · 23/06/2008 21:57

I am just trying to defend the fact that even though we are not togeter we can and still do get on.

Another thing if DH wants to see someone it is his life, but a married woman would not be the best choice.

As I said he is very uncomfitable with her and will be speaking to the senior leader, I just don't know why she is so rude, she has been since DS1 was a beaver and DH1 and I were together then.

OP posts:
Thomcat · 23/06/2008 21:57

If you weren't a bit jealous you wouldn't be at all bothered by her. And you are bothered. That's totally normal afaic. Of course it's a case of wanting you cake and eating it too. Totally is. But again, that's fine and I don't blame you. I wouldn't want anyone flirting with my ex DH who I'm still v friendly with and have feelings for esp if she couldn't give a toss about me and was all about my ex DH.

umberella · 23/06/2008 21:58

"Another thing if DH wants to see someone it is his life, but a married woman would not be the best choice."

pot kettle black

Dior · 23/06/2008 21:59

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Kimi · 23/06/2008 22:02

umberella might be a beaver leader on the sly

I have other things to worry about, but I was asking why I find her rudeness pisses me off, and I just don't know.

And can I just say that if I met anyone I know when I am out and they are with someone, partner, friend, sister, work mate, I acknowlage them as well as the person I know.
Well I will put her over friendlyness down to low self worth and her rudness down to low social skills.

Night all.

OP posts:
WallOfSilence · 23/06/2008 22:02

She might be being rude, on the other hand she may just not like you. One can't like everyone we meet in life.

She may just see a woman dangling two men..... having dh1 to look after the kids & 'dp' to satisfy other needs... there ya have it.... she's jealous of you, that's it! She's jealous of the fact you have a great relationship with your dh, that he still hangs on like a little puppy to your every word (Or that's how it comes across)

He even complains to you that she's getting too close... fgs... a grown man should be able to handle a woman touching his arm... it's not as if she has his cock in a vice grip and her mouth poised!

Dior · 23/06/2008 22:03

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Kimi · 23/06/2008 22:03

How is it pot kettle black.
I don't chase married men, and DP was not the reason we split!!!!

I think you have more issues with me then I do with beaver lady..... funny old world

OP posts:
ThinWhiteDuchess · 23/06/2008 22:04

WOS !!!

nzshar · 23/06/2008 22:06

I think you need to get a grip. Your "DH1" needs to get some balls and tell the woman that shes overstepping the mark or shut up. You on the other hand should have no feelings towards this either way. If she wishes to get "in his face" then that is between her and him not you anymore. And yes you want your cake and eat it as you say

umberella · 23/06/2008 22:06

WOS = pmsl!!!!

Kimi, your DP has opted for a married woman - don't you see the irony in your comment!

I'm just finding this hilarious!

DP's mother was a beaver leader in days of yore so perhaps it is all very close to my heart

Dior · 23/06/2008 22:06

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Kimi · 23/06/2008 22:07

DH1 is not the free childcare, he does not follow like a puppy and no one is dangleing, they don't give divorce papers out just like that you know it takes time.

Oh and it is not about getting other needs sorted either, its about meeting someone at 14 and finding out you have grown in to someone else at 35.

OP posts:
Dior · 23/06/2008 22:09

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Kimi · 23/06/2008 22:12

DP did not go after a married woman, he was our friend and he helped us both.

The face we have ended up together is not about anyone going after anyone.

If bever lady is seperated thats her life, nothing to do with me, if she has the hots for DH1 again up to her, the fact he is clearly not happy with how she acts should be enough for her to stop doing it.

And the fact that he tells me he does not like it does not make him weak, I have know the man since he was a school boy and he has never liked people getting a half ince away to speak to him,

DP also thinks she is rude.

OP posts:
Dior · 23/06/2008 22:14

Message withdrawn

umberella · 23/06/2008 22:14

yerks kimi!! no-one has said ANYTHING about ANYONE going after you! the irony lies in the fact that you said it would not be a wise 'choice' given the fact she is married.

Gads. I think this is all v v v confused and confusing!

Original poster
Kimi · 23/06/2008 22:14

DIOR it was not meant to sound like i was being over protective of DH1, I just can't work out why she is so rude.

Thinking about it I have never seen her talk to the mums if the dads were there.

I guess she is just a sad woman looking to feel sexy and nt pushing 45 with kids and a bad dye job

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread