To want to move back to england with my 5 children

[tryingtogohome]

Hi sorry if this is all over the place

I live in Poland with my partner who is Polish and we have 5 boys 15 11 5 3 and 10 months and im pregnant again 25 weeks

I keep thinking about leaving him and going back to England but then i think im being stupid because ive been here so long and dont even know where id start anymore.

I dont really have anybody. No family. I grew up in care and havent spoken to anyone from my past for years and years.

Things have got worse between me and my partner. Hes always saying what a real man should be and boys shouldnt cry and things like that. My 15 year old argues with him constanly (constantly) now and the whole house feels tense all the time.

This is going to sound silly but i keep feeling like this baby is a girl and every time i say it he gets annoyed. Not shouting just annoyed and says he doesnt want a daughter and what would he do with a girl and says hopefully im wrong. Maybe im overreacting but it upsets me more than it should.

I dont know if its hormones.

I keep looking at Doncaster and Rotherham and Sheffield on my phone when everyone is asleep and then crying because i dont even know if my children could go to school there after living here all this time or where we would live.

I know people will say leave if youre unhappy but it isnt that easy when youve got this many children and no money and nowhere to go.

Am i being unreasonable wanting to go back to England or does this sound completly mad after 11 years away

I do speak Polish, not perfectly but enough for day to day things and appointments and schools etc. I didnt when i first came here but i do now.

I dont really have any friends though. I had a couple years ago but not anymore. Everyone sort of drifted away and i dont really go anywhere without the children now.
All of the children are his. They were all born in England apart from the baby who is 10 months. He came early at 31 weeks and was in hospital for a while and thats part of whats panicing me this time because im pregnant again and keep worrying the same thing will happen.

I dont know about passports off the top of my head because my head is all over the place today. The older boys definitely have British passports. I think the younger ones do as well but I'd have to check.

Something happened yesterday that i cant stop thinking about. I went out with the baby and when i got back my partner had shaved my 3 year olds hair off. He had lovely little curls and now half his head is basically shaved. He said it was only hair and he was messing about but my little boy was crying and didnt want anyone looking at him.

Maybe that sounds stupid compared to bigger problems but it really upset me. Hes only 3.

OK, you must be right if your one experience is different to other people’s experiences and of course, if my NHS contact is a just M/W they can’t possibly know what’s happening in their own department, especially if the rules say that’s what isn’t supposed to happen.

You win.

A father is an important figure in a child’s life. Is he providing for the family? Does he spend a lot of time with the boys and is involved in their lives? Wouldn’t they miss their dad? It sounds like he is passing on sexist views, but those attitudes unfortunately are still considered fairly normal in many cultures. Have you vocalised your unhappiness and discussed the possibility of separating because of your differences in values? Would he be willing to change his attitude to save the family?

The UK is really crap at knowing the rules and mostly don't bother.

I live in Sweden with DH but we had a holiday in the UK in Cornwall where dd1 got bitten by a mouse (she rescued it from a cat but the mouse was not grateful) - so we schlepped along to minor injuries and queued for almost 2 hours to be told that this was "too big" on an injury for them and sent us off to a health centre. We produced all of our paperwork, insurance, ID cards, European reciprocal health cards etc - but the staff had no idea what to so with them and just waved us into the waiting room without looking at them,

Why would someone come from Poland where your pregnancy was monitored just for a few weeks to give birth in the UK. Travelling close to the due date to unfamiliar hospital, wouldn’t it be very stressful. Just find it strange as healthcare is supposed to be very good in Poland.

I don’t know, probably many reasons, you’d have to ask those who choose to do it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Staying on topic for this thread it seems that OP wants English speaking hcp’s, the comforting feeling of being in her country of origin and easy UK citizenship for her children.

Exactly. Single mum. 6 kids. Oldest already getting into trouble at school and shoplifting. Another with a genetic disorder that still isn't enough to stop OP getting "accidentally" pregnant in the pursuit of a girl. Not exactly a net positive gain for the UK, is it?

Another reason why this country is going down the toilet and nothing is done to stop it

Who do you stay with each time for the births of your babies in UK when not in hospital who looks after your other children at the time of birth? How do you book into a UK hospital for pregnancy but live in Poland? How could you secretly bring 5 children on a flight to UK and be homeless with no support in UJ How could you look after them here? You need to find support in Poland

Benefits of course