Boy 'accidentaly' touching my daughter at school

[Starsugar]

My daughter is 11 (Yr 6) and a boy in her year has been repeatedly touching her chest, elbow, leg, bum etc and claims it is an accident. This started about a year ago and I have been in touch with the school several times. It did stop for a long while, so I thought they must have resolved it, but now he has started doing it again and I fear he had just moved on to someone else in that time. My daughter does not like it and feels he is doing it on purpose. She is quite developed for her age, has her period and it makes her feel very uncomfortable. I have no idea whether this child has issues or what his home life is like. In my mind I just assumed the school would deal with it in the best way as they know the child. The school have down played this and have said he didnt mean to do it, but it keeps happening. They said they would split them up but this obviously hasn't happened. If this was happening to me at work it would not be acceptable and I dont want my daughter to experience this. Im not sure what the next step would be here, am I getting worked up over nothing?

School can't ignore and dismiss the police like they have you and your daughter.

Time to report the assaults to the police.

I’ll add to this I also have a DS.

I would be telling him in NO uncertain terms it stops or I’ll be reporting him to the police myself.

once is accidental. Repeatedly is deliberate SA.

Police. At the very least they should be knocking on his parents door and having a word if they don’t know, and if they’re decent people they’ll be horrified at the police being involved in their kid committing sexual assault.

Unless you’re in Scotland 10 is the age of criminal responsibility so police are absolutely appropriate. It’s sexual assault and l would inform the school that you have involved the police because by not taking action on your report they are condoning it.

I’d also take the opportunity to get something positive out of this for your DD. Teach her that her body is her own and no-one gets to touch her if she doesn’t want them to. Tell her to be assertive and not to be afraid to stop him, that it’s fine to make a fuss if he does it again - push him away and shout for him to stop, thereby also letting others know what’s going on.

it sounds to me as though a visit from the local police would do the little shit the world of good - scare the crap out of him.

Like fuck is that accidental. That is deliberate repeated sexual assault. Your poor daughter. It is past time to go nuclear at the school. Email, so it is in writing. Title the email "Repeated sexual assault of my daughter in school". Demand that they inform you of the safeguarding plan that will ensure this never happens again in their care, and state that if there is any repeat you will call the police. And follow through.

Yes, they will totally be thinking they can ride this out till the end of the term and then it's not their problem any more... OP, if you don't get a satisfactory response, then you can contact Ofsted.

We had a similar incident happen although DD was older and in secondary school. There were multiple incidents of touching especially on the bum and chest. School acted like they were talking it seriously but clearly nothing was done.
DD was a brown belt in kickboxing and I told her to use one of her kicks on him next time he touched her. She eventually did because she was fed up.
School tried to punish her but we kicked up a massive fuss said we'd go to the governors, name and shame on social media (the school not the boy) and reminded them how many times DD had told them he was harassing her. They dropped the punishment pretty quickly after that.
Go all out to protect her. If he's allowed (as he feels) to touch her then she's allowed to hit him as hard as she can. Presumably she can claim it's an accident as that's an acceptable excuse. If she doesn't feel able to do that then I think you need to go to the police. In any case ask her if she wants to do some form of martial arts as it might help her feel more confident.

They may be able just to talk to him and tell him why his behaviour is wrong. They msy also inform him of the consequences if he continues, worth a shot, no one else seems to be doing what's needed

I'm with everyone telling you they would call the police. 50% of child sexual abuse is from other children. He is in Year 6 and 10 is the criminal age of responsibility, he knows what he is doing, the school is not doing enough, and you as her parent need to do what she needs you to do. Emailing the school who are doing nothing is clearly getting nowhere. Make an online report and then someone will be in touch, then let the school know and the governers. They are giving this boy a free pass he is old enough now to know right and wrong. Wonder what else he will accidentally do as he gets older if this is not nipped in the bud.

Email the school with the safeguarding team on it.

Write it all out write how the school have continued to fail to protect her from repeated sexual assault on their premises and so on.

Mention the police as well. Make sure you call it that as well as touching someone’s breasts or bottom is exactly that.

paper trail.

Also she doesn’t get moved or miss out to keep her safe no no that’s victim blamey. He is the one moved from things.

I echo everyone else about it not being on and the school should be doing more to protect your child.

Just an FYI they're probably imminently going to be doing their sex education lessons as we're nearing the end of term so you don't want it to escalate.

You find the parents and tell them to get the boy to leave your daughter alone.
it doesn’t matter what might be happening at home etc PROTECT your daughter.

Agree the girl should be protected but this isn't the way to do it. It could escalate, his parents might turn violent , and in the eyes of the school it may turn it into an inter- family squabble, rather than something they are responsible for.

They are unlikely to react well, and he might take it out on her.

Go to the head teacher and say if this does not stop immediately you are going to the police. AND DO SO!!! Also say this boy obviously has few boundaries and should be monitored closely in his interactions with girls.

If he can't keep his hands to himself, she should slap him across the face. Worked a treat for me when I was being harassed, and worked for women in the Seventies. He'll never touch her again.

Brilliant. And I'm guessing he never bothered her again?

Report the assaults to the police.
Report the safeguarding failures to OFSTED.

I'm sorry your daughter and you are having to deal with this.

“demand”? How about request?

OP has been in contact with the school nicely several times and they have done nothing to safeguard her daughter.

Police. One time, possibly, the school could have been left to deal with.

This is so far into unacceptable. And (genuinely without wanting to be unkind or an arse) you are wrong for having allowed this to continue for a year. A YEAR.

Police, maybe not tonight. But tomorrow. Keep her off school. Report it.

In addition to getting it dealt with, the school will be in shit loads of trouble.

In the case of sexual assault I think to demand a meeting with school where it is being allowed to happen is perfectly acceptable.

Shes not in a position to demand anything, that’s just stupid talk

This is 100% a police matter.
Unfortunately in todays world there is no room for doubts.
Your child needs protecting.
That boy could be acting out from viewing porn.
Your child is entitled to be safe.
Hand it over completely to the police.
I'm so sorry.
Your poor little girl.

This is peer on peer abuse, ask to speak to the schools designated safeguarding lead

Tell her to 'accidentally' punch him. Preferably below the belt. I'd go mental at the school for allowing repeated sexual assaults.