Boy 'accidentaly' touching my daughter at school

[Starsugar]

My daughter is 11 (Yr 6) and a boy in her year has been repeatedly touching her chest, elbow, leg, bum etc and claims it is an accident. This started about a year ago and I have been in touch with the school several times. It did stop for a long while, so I thought they must have resolved it, but now he has started doing it again and I fear he had just moved on to someone else in that time. My daughter does not like it and feels he is doing it on purpose. She is quite developed for her age, has her period and it makes her feel very uncomfortable. I have no idea whether this child has issues or what his home life is like. In my mind I just assumed the school would deal with it in the best way as they know the child. The school have down played this and have said he didnt mean to do it, but it keeps happening. They said they would split them up but this obviously hasn't happened. If this was happening to me at work it would not be acceptable and I dont want my daughter to experience this. Im not sure what the next step would be here, am I getting worked up over nothing?

I would suggest something in writing to the designated safeguarding lead, setting out everything that has happened so far, including stuff they already know about.

Don’t say chest, say breasts if that’s what’s happened. Lay it out very clearly that you believe this is sexual touching and they are failing in their duty of care to your daughter.

Start with the sentence:

Dear Mrs Xxxx

I am writing to you in your capacity as Designated Safeguarding Lead and asking that you review the school’s actions in dealing with repeated unwanted touching of my daughter by xxxx. My daughter has gone through puberty and has the body of a young woman.

On x date she reported x. I spoke to y. I was told z.

On x date…

And so on.

End with what you want to happen.

Look through their policies on their website. If there isn’t one, refer to the relevant policy on the DFE website - there will be one.

You are a better person than me, i would have demand Police action the second time he touched my daughter, there would never have been a third time.
Do not let your daughter be abused any longer.

You are under reacting I'd have gone absolutely mental at the school if a boy had touched my daughters boob and done nothing.

Honestly I’d bypass the school and ring the police tonight and tell them someone over the age of criminal responsibility is repeatedly sexually assaulting your Dd. Your Dd needs to see you’re protecting her and that she’s allowed boundaries.

Not at all; your daughter gets to choose who touches her body, not this little creep.

exactly

Absolutely this. My DC were told any bullying/hitting to whack them back. This falls into that category. That will put a stop to it.

Then the Police, if not.

The school sounds shite.

Tell her to shout every time he does it. ‘Don’t touch me!’
so that it is brought to the attention of everyone close by.

Unacceptable. Tell the school you WILL be informing the police if your daughter is not protected. Also,look at self defence/martial arts classes, my DGD does this and nobody messes with her

Jesus, if nobody stops him now, he's going to be in prison down the line.
The school, the parents need to teach him about consent. Fast.

I agree with coaching her to be loud and public. Sexual harrassers use our shame against us. "Don't touch me again! You've been told before!" Also escalate, escalate.

My DS is told the same. Hasn't stopped him receiving detentions, isolation and a suspension for defending himself from aggression though. Whilst the other kids are barely punished. Some have different rules. Its crazy.

You're definitely under reacting. I'd be telling the school you will be informing the police and do it.

DD had this and eventually pushed him over and kicked him when he was down on the floor. He was utterly humiliated and she got in trouble but he left her alone after that. It is horrendous that schools allow this and "boys will be boys" is still prevalent. The little shit who targeted DD started the second her DB left for secondary and knew exactly what he was doing.

Totally agree with this, have a look at Krav Maga 'balls nose nose'! I did this on a self defense course and they said to shout loud 'get the F**k away' so there is not doubt in anyones mind that you are not messing about and then a swift kick to the balls followed by two palms into the nose.

It's totally unacceptable and I would make sure the school deal with it or I'd be calling the police.

Another one saying you’ll inform the police if steps are not immediately taken to deal with him - and mean it. Your dd needs to know and understand that nobody touches her body unless she wants them to.

They’re leaving school soon so it’s a bit late but I would have insisted they put her in a different class.

All the things everyone else said. The school need to be keeping your dd safe, even if that means constant supervision of the sex pest boy. I work in a secondary school and have had to follow students on trips to ensure they don't assault another student.

Also cc in the Head and the Board of Governors and stipulate when you want a written response by.

Jesus. Sorry that's now part of your job! How did this all get so bad that you had to do that?

Internet I presume.

How.is she feeling? Is she scared of him? If she feels unsafe i think i would keep my daughter out of school tomorrow write formal emails to school, governors, trust etc tonight and say that she won"t be coming back until they can assure you that she is completely safe from this boy and he has been dealt with and his parents are aware. If they don't respond or their response is not acceptable then it's police.

Complain in writing, this is a safeguarding issue and they have failed to safeguard your child. There is statutory guidance that school should be following for child on child sexual violence and harassment. Pg 112. The school and local authority should have a policy. Look on the school's website under policies.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/68add931969253904d155860/Keeping_children_safe_in_education_from_1_September_2025.pdf

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/69fb1c28d0e316a40f269a5b/Working_together_to_safeguard_children_2026_a_guide_to_multi_agency_working.pdf

I would also report to the police, if he is year 6 he is above the age of criminal responsibility and old enough to know that it is unacceptable behaviour. It will encourage a multi-agency response. Have your timeline ready like @Dolphinnoises suggested for when you speak with them listing what happened when and what you have done so far to try and deal with it. Explain to your daughter that they will likely want to talk with her.

Make sure you have everything in writing. Involve the Safeguarding lead, the Head and the governors. I’m usually loath to get stroppy with school, but this is serious. There is no point us teaching our children, particularly girls, nobody is allowed to touch them without their consent, if the school continues to ignore this kind of behaviour.

Keep on at the school, they are clearly downplaying this because they don’t want the hassle!
And tell your daughter to use her voice…….I know she shouldn’t have to but when he touches her she is quite at liberty to tell him firmly and assertively to keep his hands to himself! Encourage her to practice at home to instil confidence!

This fucking male entitlement to touch a female as they wish starts young.

I would be apoplectic in your shoes OP.

I am sick to death of all of this being played down by society in general.

This boy needs horse whipping. I am so angry on behalf of our daughters having to navigate this. So many secondary schools are now rife with sexual harassment, even assault. It is getting worse too.

OP, take this to the end, inform the police and report the school. They are underplaying it because it suits them to not protect girls.