Boy 'accidentaly' touching my daughter at school

[Starsugar]

My daughter is 11 (Yr 6) and a boy in her year has been repeatedly touching her chest, elbow, leg, bum etc and claims it is an accident. This started about a year ago and I have been in touch with the school several times. It did stop for a long while, so I thought they must have resolved it, but now he has started doing it again and I fear he had just moved on to someone else in that time. My daughter does not like it and feels he is doing it on purpose. She is quite developed for her age, has her period and it makes her feel very uncomfortable. I have no idea whether this child has issues or what his home life is like. In my mind I just assumed the school would deal with it in the best way as they know the child. The school have down played this and have said he didnt mean to do it, but it keeps happening. They said they would split them up but this obviously hasn't happened. If this was happening to me at work it would not be acceptable and I dont want my daughter to experience this. Im not sure what the next step would be here, am I getting worked up over nothing?

I hope the poll results reassure you you're not overreacting

You need to email your daughter's DSL (Designated Safeguarding Lead) which will be listed on the school web site. In the email you need to outline what has happened, giving as much factual detail as possible. Ask within the email what steps the school will be taking to ensure your daughter is safe. A one off incident is an accident, repeated incidents are not accidental, they are intentional. You need to request a meeting with the DSL too.

If this happened in the workplace, it would be classed as sexual assault and harassment.

As has been.stated insist on.seeing the head with the schools safeguarding team and her class tutor and give a time period ie within one week and send via email and say if you dont have a meeting within a week you are going to the police, this is disgusting nothing has been done

Tell her to slap him if he does it again, make a fuss and shout leave me alone you pervert. Then walk out of the classroom and go to the heads office.

Also wanted to add that all my kids are boys too and my youngest is 12.

I would be absolutely beside myself if I found out he was doing anything like this. And I would welcome input from any services, including police, who were able to help me deal with it.

The best outcome is that the parents are made aware, a police officer comes out and has a talk with him, and he realises 1) how serious this is and 2) WHY it is unacceptable.

I would hope that's how it ends up rather than it having to be taken any further. But I can't stress enough how much you need proper services involved.
Aside from the risks to your daughter and other children he is around, his situation needs assessing in case there is an underlying reason that he feels this is OK

You tell the school and the chair of governors that you have informed them that your daughter is being sexually assaulted and have not had a satisfactory response. You want a written response which includes a risk assessment. If it happens again you will be informing the police and Ofsted. The boy also better be careful she doesn’t accidentally knee him in the nads or punch him on the nose as an involuntary response to being assaulted.

You are extremely naive if you believe a woman won’t be punished for this.

You can also report to MASH and LADO for safeguarding OP. The school are failing your daughter. Doesn’t matter if this kid has shit going on at home. Your daughter doesn’t want him touching her. Go fucking nuts!

Your poor daughter. I would be contacting the police immediately and going totally zero tolerance on the school.

It’s bloody disgusting, weirdo, at 11 you know what’s right and wrong, and if he has issues, he shouldn’t be in that school then, where will it lead if he’s not stopped

Threaten police involvement - You would probably be doing the boy a favour nipping it in the bud

This. Whatever the school have done so far is not working. Reporting it to the police will mean social services will get involved and the boy will hopefully get whatever help he needs.

The school doing nothing and making excuses isn’t helping anyone. It’s not protecting the victims. And it’s not helping this boy, he will only escalate these sexual assaults as he gets older.

The only thing it’s doing is protecting the teachers from having to deal with difficult issues, unhappy parents and lots of paperwork .

Next time call the police.

It drives me mad how many excuses are made for these boys. You're not overreacting OP.

These boys need to be told this type of thing in unacceptable. I would email the school about it to have a paper trail and escalate it if needed.
Dd had this at secondary when she was around 14. The boy was sitting beside her in class and kept touching her arm or her leg and she pushed his hand away but it was continuing. Teacher aware but not doing anything.
I told her next time shout loudly 'stop touching me' and get up and move. If the teacher isn't happy with her shouting then they could phone me.

Tell the Local Authority Education Department, Governors, and Police with assault charges against the boy and a massive safe-guarding failure against the school. If the child is a normal 11 year old, he knows NOT to do this and, especially since a tell off by the school didn't work, he deserves to be going through young offenders.

If there is something else there, like he has a serious disability which means he doesn't understand what he is doing is wrong, then the school need to be caring for him in a way that includes stopping this behaviour. One slip up, one second where a TA didn't catch him before he did it, ok even those looking after disabled people can slip up, more than one, their care and safeguarding procedures are majorly flawed which is their fault entirely!

she is being sexually assaulted, I agree go ballistic and tell school you will report to police if it happens again. Or report now.

Glad you’re going back to the school, OP. Agree with others that this is sexual assault and you need a face to face with the head immediately.

Make sure you read and refer to their safeguarding policy and ask for a specific plan to keep your DD safe. Ask them to confirm their next steps in writing. Go to the governors, police and LEA if they even hesitate to act.

Why would reporting your DD being repeatedly sexually assaulted to the Police be "taking it to far"? Don't get it. If this continually happened outside school grounda then I'm sure you would! Shouldnt be any difference because it's happening at school.

Contact the Police. Your daughter is being assaulted and schools lax attitude is why it has continued. The school is part of the problem.

She is being sexually assaulted. The school should be protecting her and they like his parents if they have been informed are failing. I’m not sure of all the paths but it needs escalation and possible police involvement.

She shouldn’t have to shout, slap or bring any more attention, what should have happen is he should leave her alone. Please dont put any responsibility on her that she is doing something wrong by not reacting or shouting etc

How would his teacher feel if she was being repeatedly touched, by this child, on her chest, leg or bum?

You have been too passive about this so far, not a good lesson for DD. Find your inner tigress, OP.

“Even in the middle of a lesson” - I’d say ESPECIALLY if in the middle of a lesson. Ought to get their attention

Agree with other posters , I’d tell her to be as loud as she can , yell “ get away from me you little pervert “ and I’d escalate with the school, social work dept and the police