To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

[Playcomment]

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

*dick

Oh it wasn’t a slur????

What was it then? A term of endearment?

I’ve taken it as a slur, I’ve a different opinion to you!

And the bloke didn’t make a sexual comment, it was a joke? My opinion!

Lol, what would happen if I was in front of you?

And yes, if I was speaking to a hall full of teenagers who were 16+ (as I was not conversing with an individual then, but speaking about the thread in general) I would likely use the term dick-panderer to refer to women and teenage girls who place male validation above being feminist, and excuse misogyny. Trust me, they've heard, and use, far worse on a daily basis.

He seems like quite a happy, friendly bloke. What if he'd decided to make a fuss and get you thrown out instead ....? It's really no big deal at all....

Yes, everyone has an opinion, and people can disagree and have vigorous debate over the disagreement of opinion. If you're looking to have everyone agree with you all the time, then the internet might not be the place for you.

like you’d say that in soft play! Oh you should evict that man and if you don’t your a dick panderer 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Keyboard warrior!

Glad to see it was deleted, slapped wrist for you, like the soft play man! I’m sure you’re not bothered, neither is he. I’m sure he has a good laugh about it later with friends, wife etc.

But they don’t have to throw insults like dick panderer, now do they!

Get on the naughty step with your deleted comment!

Oh yeah, it took so much that he couldn't help himself but crack a 'joke' about a woman's arse.

Please.

Exactly 👍

I would have laughed and just said cheeky, this is the problem in this country nobody is allowed to joke anymore, no wonder everyone is so miserable 🙄

No, I wouldn't be wading into an in-depth discussion about the issue between many different people in softplay, so I wouldn't use it. It wouldn't be an appropriate context; the poor staff member would just be bewildered.

It's a little like how the man should've kept his sexual joke to his friends, instead of putting it onto the OP, unsolicited. There is a time, and a place.

Agree with this, but also I did find it funny when I first read the OP. But your right it was sexualising women and maybe we are so used to these kind of comments that most of us wouldn't even realise the deeper meaning behind it.

It's interesting, the way you think unsolicited sexual jokes are funny and fine, but the term 'dick panderer' has really struck a nerve for you. It really hit home, it seems.

Anyway, cheers! We're just going in circles, so let's agree to disagree.

Guess you off sick the day they dished out the sense of humours. It was a joke. Get over it.

Far too many snowflakes like you around that get offended far too easily nowadays, and no I am not "old" (under 40)

its the hypocrisy not the term.

I can insult women because (presumably) I’m female and they don’t agree with me! But if a man cracks a joke then he’s awful.

pot.kettle.black

Are all the PPs saying ‘I’d have found that funny’ have thought it was as hilarious if it was their DH? Because if my DH said that, I’d be shocked, disappointed and he’d have the bollocking of a lifetime after he’d apologised in person. The bar is in hell

Soft play staff are probably on close to minimum wage. I wouldn't expect them to do any more than they did.

It was an inappropriate comment but that’s why I’d probably find it funny 🤭

What happens if he does something wrong?

Does this mean banging your (male or female) arse in someone's (male or female) face is entirely normal and any indication of amusement/anger/whatever should not be tolerated?

OR.... *the bar is in different places for different people.

91% of people disagree with you and yet you still can't acknowledge or appreciate that perfectly reasonable people might take a different view on this? I can understand that some people wouldn't have appreciated the comment and they would have found it inappropriate. I personally would have found it mildly funny.

In answer to your question, if my DP had said it I'd have been surprised because it's a million miles from anything he would say but I wouldn't care if he said it, any more than I would care if someone said it to me.

The chap should have complained to the staff and called the police for being sexually harassed by the OP (or at least her arse). Was there unsolicited touching involved by said arse?

Well I didn’t find it funny and I am old. I’ll
happily be described as a snowflake though if it means I don’t find unwanted and uninvited sexual comments from men funny.
I have a sense of humour. It just seems to not be the same as yours.

I’m old and found it funny, doesn’t mean I’m right you’re wrong. 🤷‍♀️

Yes, obviously he should have been shown the exit and told never to darken their doors again, followed by immediate flogging and castration.
FFS.