Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don’t know what to do.

156 replies

Howisthisok1 · 08/06/2026 21:06

i work as a TA in an inner city primary school. Three weeks ago, the children went on a residential to Wales. I opted not to go. A few days ago, one of the girls told me she’d left her accommodation on one of the nights and slept elsewhere with another group. I reported this. Her parents were called in.

The following day she told me she was angry, because another girl had done the same but would not be getting into trouble. I told her she should report the other girl. She then told me that three of them had gone to the DSL to report it and were told ‘keep this to yourselves, you are too late to report it - stop throwing others under the bus.

AIBU to think this is totally wrong and you never tell children to keep quiet about safeguarding?

Edited to add he did tell the girl she could bring it up at her forthcoming meeting but that he did not wish to be involved.

OP posts:
Howisthisok1 · 11/06/2026 17:56

singlepringle12 · 11/06/2026 17:24

Look at your complaints procedure & raise this with whoever you report your HT to - usually governors I believe. At my school we have multiple safeguarding contacts so maybe another one of them?
As a teacher, yes you need to report it. Adding it into whatever online safeguarding system you use (we use CURA) could tick that box, however if your DSL is particularly shit, they could delete your entry…
TAs in my area are like gold dust, do look around & don’t stand for shit & slack procedures, if this is the normal routine, to cover up safeguarding reports, then your school is on a VERY slippery slope that you won’t want to be a part of!
Well done for standing for what’s right, ignore posters on here who have either misunderstood or are saying it’s no big deal. They clearly haven’t ever had any sort of safeguarding training! If my child was at your school, I’d be bloody grateful they gave staff like yourself who follow correct & safe procedures!!

Thank you so much @singlepringle12 I can’t understand why so many posters are almost laughing at me. Telling me I'm
’just a TA’ and that I’m being ridiculous because no child was hurt.

it’s telling children to keep quiet that is the issue and covering up.

For all those saying that ten year olds wondering in a field during the night is ‘kids being kids,’ I would love to know what your reaction would be watching this on the news, where a child was last seen by teachers at 10pm but by morning had vanished with no trace. There would be an outcry of “Where the hell were the staff?”
it’s scary that some of you work in schools and feel the way forward is to forget it.

OP posts:
ButcherFaker · 11/06/2026 19:06

Howisthisok1 · 11/06/2026 17:56

Thank you so much @singlepringle12 I can’t understand why so many posters are almost laughing at me. Telling me I'm
’just a TA’ and that I’m being ridiculous because no child was hurt.

it’s telling children to keep quiet that is the issue and covering up.

For all those saying that ten year olds wondering in a field during the night is ‘kids being kids,’ I would love to know what your reaction would be watching this on the news, where a child was last seen by teachers at 10pm but by morning had vanished with no trace. There would be an outcry of “Where the hell were the staff?”
it’s scary that some of you work in schools and feel the way forward is to forget it.

You really think it is sensible for you to report your HT to the governors over this? Good luck with that then but I seriously doubt it will end well for you.

Howisthisok1 · 11/06/2026 22:35

@captainflash
i replied to your pm but not heard anything back yet.

OP posts:
Howisthisok1 · 12/06/2026 03:41

I really need help!
@captainflash has sent me a pm. I have replied but under my reply it says the selected recipient username is invalid.
My message above it appears to have gone through. Confused!

OP posts:
Basilplants · 12/06/2026 08:01

@Howisthisok1

You’re doing the right thing, 100%

I would be appalled if I were the parent

Thank you for your good judgment and commitment, I’m still shocked by the moronic lack of it on this thread!!!

captainflash · 12/06/2026 08:09

I’ve replied

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread