I don’t know what to do.

[Howisthisok1]

i work as a TA in an inner city primary school. Three weeks ago, the children went on a residential to Wales. I opted not to go. A few days ago, one of the girls told me she’d left her accommodation on one of the nights and slept elsewhere with another group. I reported this. Her parents were called in.

The following day she told me she was angry, because another girl had done the same but would not be getting into trouble. I told her she should report the other girl. She then told me that three of them had gone to the DSL to report it and were told ‘keep this to yourselves, you are too late to report it - stop throwing others under the bus.

AIBU to think this is totally wrong and you never tell children to keep quiet about safeguarding?

Edited to add he did tell the girl she could bring it up at her forthcoming meeting but that he did not wish to be involved.

I told her she should report the other girl.

When you say girls do you mean adults or children?

I hope you don’t mean children if one of them told you something and instead of following the safeguarding procedures, you simply told her to report it herself??

I don’t know any primary aged child that reports things to the DSL.
If a child comes to you with a concern, you follow the safeguarding protocols and report it yourself.
That is your job!

This.

And contact your chair of governors. They're the person to go to if you have concerns about your head.

Speak to your union. If you are part of a trust/academy speak to hr or the senior manager of the trust. Speak to the head governor. Lots you should be doing. You are right it’s never okay.

Did the DSL specifically tell you it's too late and what was their wording to you about it?

Can you not also CPOMS yourself to have a record of it?

Did the girls switch pods or were they in a different pod with boys or people outside the group. Did the girl who reported get asked to move by the other person so theu were with their friends.

I’m failing to see an issue here. I’m picturing a field with glamping pods and the girls left their own to join friends in another for the night. Not ideal but really not the end of the world unless boys and girls mixed and they’re old enough to worry about this? You said primary and I know residentials are typically year 5/6 so they’re 9-11 years old… I think it was likely innocent and this is a mountain molehill situ.

I went on a trip abroad as a teen and I snuck into the boys room one night. Nothing happened like that, I was good friends with one of them and he was gay.

Well, it is a big deal if the risk assessment involved kids not stopping sleeping pods.

I also dislike parking apps.
I use them so rarely that I’m often in a different car to the one registered. Or the bank card they hold has expired. Or the signal is too weak to work.
I much prefer to use card/cash.
Fine if you use the car park regularly but not if you don’t.
Finding somewhere to park in a city centre is bad enough without all the added stress. Plus my local council has decided it hates the working population and has deemed the majority of it’s car parks short stay. It thinks having an awkward to get in /out of multi story located on a one way street and charging £12 to park is the answer.

Posted on the wrong thread.

Surely if the H/T backed the DSL they would have explained to you what has actually occurred on the trip and why they have come to this decision.

If you’re concerned, then you have to know the facts and not just what the child has told you, so you can make an informed decision as to whether to go above the H/T on this. Go back and say you’re uncomfortable, can they explain exactly what happened on the trip.

You will get sacked for this. They always shoot the messenger so make your mind up. What’s more important? Are the children safe? Has anything happened? Is it worth you losing your job over?

LADO immediately
(local authority designated officer)
And contact your union because you are going to need their help when these inadequate adults turn on you

Tell the LADO. All parents should be aware. There is a vulnerability to the set up and when it happens again the unsupervised child could be at risk of accident or worse. Safeguarding plans go west case senarios and a child wandering round and staying with other groups isn’t acceptable.

I would just keep quiet. Of course you are in the right but you weren't on the trip. If you create a fuss then it will be your job at risk. Nobody came to any harm. But it's a sad state of affairs when it comes to this. Maybe ask for the 'event' to be recorded.

Designated safeguarding lead I think

Yes You should 100% report the DSL and HT to the LADO. Firstly the original incident but also their handling of it is very poor.

And yes, join a union if you are not in one already (do it immediately).

YANBU OP. If you’re sure all conversation has been exhausted with HT, get advice from LADO as someone has said above. Go above the HT. It’s also worth letting your union know about the issue in case it gets dramatic 💖

This sounds more like a behaviour issue rather than safeguarding. There is no one to escalate it to as there is no safeguarding action to be taken. They should all have the same consequences for their actions of course.

This is so shocking to me that I almost don’t believe you!
If it’s honestly true, you need to alert governors. It’s completely unacceptable. <I’m a governor>

I’m not sure I believe it either.

A child came up to OP and made a disclosure and OP told her to go and tell the DSL herself??

Anyone working in a school knows that she should have reported it to the sgl herself and not relied on a primary aged child to do if.

I'm sorry but this is ridiculous.
Some young kids on a glamping trip snuck out in the night and you have retrospectively reported it as a safeguarding incident?

And in response some posters are suggesting you report it to the LADO?

Utter pot stirring. This is complaint culture. This is not an actual complaint.

What has happened now is a massive procedural investigation involving all school leaders and outside agencies and thousands of pounds of public money. E xactly the same procedure has to be kickstarted as when a teacher has been seen snogging a student behind the bike shed.

This is why you are being told to leave it.
Because there has never in human history been an overnight school trip at any age where kids have NOT snuck out in the night.

This is not a complaint. It is complaint culture, and it costs everyone involved the opportunity to get on with the real stuff that benefits everyone.

If you MUST report something, you report it ONCE and then leave it at that. You don't go posting online about it, tittle rattling with the kids about it, scandalizing about what has happened, or even discussing further with the DSL.
They are qualified to a far higher level than yourself to investigate, and you are very much out of order to do all this probing. Just do your job ffs.

i think some people are missing my point. I don’t care that one girl got into trouble and one didn’t. I just care that he basically told three girls they were too late to report something and that they should keep quiet and not throw someone under the bus. Supposing they had reported being sexually abused on the residential and he’d told them to keep quiet. He’s one of my bosses and has form for lying after previously covering up another residential safeguarding three years ago. He made the life hell of the person who reported him and she had to leave.

So they were in another of the 5 pods? They hadn’t joined a completely different group?

yes I told the girl who got into trouble that she should also report the other girl but obviously I reported it myself immediately.

it sounds confusing! Basically three girls went to the DSL to report it. He told them to stay quiet. They then told me this and I reported it to the H/T within the hour. I also told the girls to report again.