I don’t know what to do.

[Howisthisok1]

i work as a TA in an inner city primary school. Three weeks ago, the children went on a residential to Wales. I opted not to go. A few days ago, one of the girls told me she’d left her accommodation on one of the nights and slept elsewhere with another group. I reported this. Her parents were called in.

The following day she told me she was angry, because another girl had done the same but would not be getting into trouble. I told her she should report the other girl. She then told me that three of them had gone to the DSL to report it and were told ‘keep this to yourselves, you are too late to report it - stop throwing others under the bus.

AIBU to think this is totally wrong and you never tell children to keep quiet about safeguarding?

Edited to add he did tell the girl she could bring it up at her forthcoming meeting but that he did not wish to be involved.

What's dsl?

You could go to the DSL yourself and explain that you have now heard that other girls were also sleeping in the wrong place. You don't have to say that you know that she already knows BUT if she brushes it off or no action is taken, you should report what you have been told to the H/T who is ultimately responsible for safeguarding within the school.
My advice though, is to notify your union of what you intend to do before you speak to anyone in school. You need someone to have your back.

Designated Safeguarding Lead

Are you sure this is all accurate? I would not expect anyone to be told to keep it to yourself.
I would also expect all those who broke the rules to be given the same consequence.
However is there a chance it was already known about the other girl doing the same and that maybe there was a reason that could not be given to the girl telling on them (though they should have simply responded with a thanks for letting me know).

This is very good advice.

Why would you ask on here and not go and speak to the dsl yourself?

Because I need advice. Isn’t that why most people post? The DSL has told the girls to keep it to thenselves. What would be the point of me speaking to him?

Please excuse me - I am so rusty on using mumsnet. I shoukd edit above that I told the H/T and was told that the DSL was right . It is too late to do anything about it.

Let it go

I don't understand how it can ever be too late to report a safeguarding issue that you've only just uncovered?

It’s not too late to deal with this at all. I don’t know why anyone would respond like that. Also, why is the focus on which child might get into trouble rather than the safeguarding fail of not knowing where primary age children were overnight and not have any idea that they were missing.

I think he responded like that because he was the dsl on the trip. Children were housed in groups of 5 children in glamping pods in a field.

You need to question the DSL as to why this is appropriate action?

Explain, that you would have thought all girls involved would have received the same consequence and you’re unsure of how to reply to the girl who has brought ‘keeping quiet’ to your attention when she’s questioning the unfairness of it all.

Go in as in needing their help to respond to the child, you’ll then find out what’s what.

I haven't read the comments. Call the Lado. This is serious.

So how old are the girls, where did they sleep? If they just moved pod to be with their friends, I don’t think I’d have mentioned it.

This is my point. I think he wants it kept quiet because he was in charge of the trip and was now faced with yet another issue of kids walking round a field unsupervised during the night. I just don’t see how it’s ever ok to tell kids to keep secrets. It goes against all our training. What do I do next. I told H/T and she backed him.

Where did they go? Exactly?

Are you saying that the girls left their pods and went to sleep in designated boys pods?

Well done. I’d be mighty pissed off with the school if my primary school child went wandering without supervision.
You can’t trust anyone.
I was in holiday in April, a group of young lads 11/12 where on some sort of team trip. They were on the beach about 9pm, in man holes they’d dugout.
I asked them to move up the beach as the tide was coming, there wasn’t an adult in sight.

My only worry for you is that they’ll push you out of your job if you force it, morally I understand why you want to highlight the situation.

Where did they sleep?

In this situation, I would speak to the headteacher not the DSL (assuming the head is not also the DSL). A quick call to your union may put your mind at ease about doing this if that would be helpful. Essentially, by reporting this, you are not reporting it as true but you are simply reporting what has been said so it can be looked into. If it helps, frame it in your mind as ‘these students have said this thing, which may or may not be true, and it’s in everyone’s interests for me to pass this on’. As it’s about the DSL, I don’t think you can go to the DSL. That doesn’t mean that you’re dropping the DSL in it if it isn’t true; actually, you’re safeguarding them as well as the students by not placing the burden of dealing with an accusation about them themselves. If you did tell them, what they should do (assuming they are above board and follow procedure) is go to the head/their line manager anyway, as they wouldn’t be able to investigate themself so would have to do this anyway. But you should speak to the headteacher or the DSL’s line manager.

Oh sorry. Just seen that you already spoke to H/T. If you’re still concerned and believe something is being covered up then your next step is the school’s whistleblowing policy which will likely mean speak to the chair of governors if you continue to be concerned after speaking to the H/T. It does depend what is meant by the head ‘backed him’ though - you likely won’t have been told the details but if it was investigated it could mean there was no basis for taking further action.

Am I understanding this correctly?……….Has a DSL stated that it’s too late to follow up on a safeguarding issue? And the head teacher has backed the DSL?
There is something seriously amiss there, no wonder children slip through the net when the adults who are supposed to be responsible for their safety and welfare just turn their backs and pretend nothing’s going on!
Personally, I’d be taking matters further. Why are these people in jobs that they clearly aren’t fit to do?!

This is not acceptable.
Has it formally been reported, or just verbally?
I'd report the DSL and headteacher also.