To be shocked my friend is using the food bank?

[thatsmeinthecrunchcorner]

I've name changed as possibly outing and I'm fully prepared to be told that IABU, but just wanted to know if I'm understanding the food bank issue here.
Friend has 3 DC, 2 of whom are primary school age. She's never worked due to childcare cost and her DH had his own business, which he sold as they are trying to emigrate to Australia (her parents emigrated there years ago) and he needs to get some specific qualifications so he studies part time and works part time. She told me recently things have been very tight and that she has been using a food bank weekly for the last year. I was really taken back as they get takeaways, the DC get new up to date sports wear and go on days out to theme parks, where they also buy food. They have 'summered' in Australia every year to visit her parents for the 6 weeks holidays. She was saying a few months ago that flights have really gone up this year so they might not go away. I said I understand, we cannot afford a holiday this year so suggested we could do some day trips together with the DC.
Saw her yesterday and she said she's just booked, it was very expensive but "we can't not go, the DC really wants to go". I assumed maybe her parents paid the tickets (she said it was £3.2k) but then she said she'd built up some savings due to not doing a big shop as she was using the food bank now. I was horrified by this, I donate to the food bank as to me it's a lifeline for those who need to feed their family. It's made me think differently of her but maybe AIBU here? DH said the food bank is there for those who need it, she's not doing anything wrong so to speak, but surely it's not there to help people save money for trips abroad?

In my area we have ‘top up’ shops in local churches where anyone can go and fill a carrier bag for £2. Food comes from charity called fareshare who obtain food from local businesses and sell it to the top up shops.

Top up shops often offer other services such as benefits help health care advice and products from the hygiene bank which provides free hygiene products to charities supporting people in need.

Well OP so far 92% say YANBU.. says more than the comments I think

Some people are disgusting chancers, you now your friend and her DH are chancers.

Remember, the average of five rule. If she's one of your five, better hope your other four are fabulous....

Sounds like she just mislabelled it a food bank when it a community pantry type thing.

There’s a reason actual food banks need a referral! Because there would always be chancers.

Then you just wonder why she’s got in the habit of calling it a food bank not a community pantry.

It bothers me because I feel the concept of the food bank is to help those in need, not those who want to save up for better things. I'm not policing anyone, I haven't said anything to her. I'm asking here as I was very surprised someone felt it's okay to do it and openly admit it. Morally it wouldn't sit right with me to do this. I know people who donate to food banks even though they are hard up themselves، because they want to help those less fortunate. That is my.position, they are for times in need, not a savings device. In saying that I was brought up strictly not to even be 'indebted' to anyone so perhaps I'm over cautious this way.

I don't think it's for you to tell the OP what she should or should not worry about.

Food bank in my church doesn't need a referral. They ask for donations, the food comes from parishioners not businesses. It's given out at request, with no details taken and no questions asked. The priest gave me £80 for my gas and electric once in a bad patch too; that didn't come with a referral either and not too many questions (though he did know me already). It's 100% not a community pantry.

It's odd that so many people think it can't be a food bank without referrals. They existed long before their current set up and some never bothered changing.

Well I'm glad you posted @thatsmeinthecrunchcorner as I've now learnt there are three types of food places. Referred food banks, non referral food banks and community pantries. I've only heard of the first one which are usually held in community places such as churches or halls. I'm struggling financially but not enough for a referral so I'm oiw going to look closer where I am.

Please tell us what you think it's about then.

Again, not all food banks work the same way. Some work on referrals, some are open to anyone in need, without referral or proof of need.

In my retirement role I work with various types of food banks and a community fridge. Outside the Trussell Trust (which does requires a referral and limits how many visits anyone can make) they basically all do their own thing and have their own rules (or lack of)

But I'm talking to the wall on this thread, as the vast majority of people seem to think that the way their foodbank or community larder works is how every other one does. And they're wrong.

I volunteer in a food bank. They have to jump through a lot of hoops and prove they’re skint to be signed up to it. Maybe you don’t know as much about their finances as you think

Totally agree. Most people I know can't afford that sort of holiday/don't have regular days out and don't have all the latest clothes, so why does she say her kids can't go without?

Actually they do do another one where anyone can come but it’s much less on offer. And if it’s open to anyone then it’s open to anyone so no one’s business who uses it. It’s better than the food going to waste (we don’t get through it all every week)

Australia is not a holiday for her though, it's to see her parents.

Director of a Trussell food bank here (they dropped the “Trust” last year). The vast majority of the Trussell network of food banks require a referral made by a professional organisation but not all (we are all independent charities who sit under the Trussell umbrella, so can - to an extent - decide our own rules, policies and criteria).

There used to be a general rule of thumb of 3 referrals in 6 months. That essentially went out of the window during COVID and many have not reimplemented it - although that is now changing as demand continues to be very high and donations are dropping off.

The referral process is hit and miss; some organisation are very thorough at assessing someone as they have the skills and capacity to do so (e.g. Citizens Advice, DWP, local council etc.) and do say no if they feel they don’t qualify, some other organisations simply put a referral through whenever one is requested. This does result in a small but prolific group of households who use the food bank regularly; some of whom are genuinely living in chronic poverty and some who have factored us into their monthly budget.

We ensure all our clients are connected up with as many organisations relevant to their circumstances as possible who can support them out of crisis and help them build some financial resilience, and we insist that those who use us both regularly and for a prolonged period of time engage positively with these organisations before we can support them further.

So whether a client is “pre-qualified” for a food bank referral, or it happens after a referral is received and a parcel provided, we eventually capture the information we need to either ensure a client is provided with all the support available, or discern those who are not in crisis or not actively helping themselves move out of crisis (if they are able to), or if they are in the vanishingly small group of people who are genuinely taking the piss (they don’t have to come to us many times for that to become apparent).

I don’t have an issue with food banks who don’t require a referral, as long as they are connecting their clients up with the appropriate wrap around support. What I don’t like to see is informal food banks who don’t address the root cause of their clients’ hardship and essentially perpetuate the problem (i.e. the sticking plaster approach).

Food pantries, community fridges and community supermarkets also exist, most of which don’t need a referral. Although often open to all, by default they are regularly used by those who need them most so I like to see that they make resources available (some leaflets or even a poster) signposting those using them to further support if needed.

If your friend is genuinely playing the system (i.e. accessing free food reserved for people in financial crisis) to reduce her food bill to allow her to go on an expensive holiday, then yes, she is absolutely in the wrong. To put this into context - we provide approx 5 tonnes in emergency food parcels each month, we receive 4 tonnes in donations. Where does the missing tonne come from? We have to buy it in.