To report my ex’s relationship with teacher to the school

[Yasminaschool]

I have changed my user name for obvious reasons.

Ex and I have a very fractious relationship, despite my best efforts to keep things civil for our child’s sake. He has become increasingly nasty in recent weeks and is rubbing his new relationship in my face.

I’ve found out through a third party that the woman he is seeing is a teacher at our child’s primary school. My ex repeatedly denied this when I asked him but at the weekend admitted to this and sent me a string of gloating messages including graphic description of what she lets him do (stuff I was never keen on) and how he feels alive again after many miserable years. He said they both laughed when he told her about our lack of sex life. Really hurtful.

I know I shouldn’t but I really want to retaliate. My friend has suggested that a teacher needs to declare any relationship with a parent and that I should contact the school to raise this.

Is this too petty? Any other suggestions for revenge?

If it's just based on cheap shags and little else what is the problem then?

Do not report her. She has done nothing in this. Your ex sounds nasty and she will no doubt find out. I doubt the sex stuff is true and refuse to believe that she was laughing at lack of sex life. That would be a weird thing to raise and laugh at. She didn't do that, he is being vindictive and pressing your buttons.

Perhaps you need to communicate with him via an app that is purely functional, take away his power not her job. For all you know she does not see this as a relationship yet.

I am slightly concerned that a number of people have said the teacher might be horrible to the children in future if OP causes any trouble...is this common practice? Would it not be very easy to prove the teacher was being vindictive because of past history?

How awful there are teachers out there who will victmise children just because of how their parent/parents acted. There is not a chance I would let that lie!

I would love to be a fly on the wall if you do "report" it as you have nothing to report.

You would get laughed at hard.

There’s nothing illegal or wrong about it. My BiL is a teacher. His child goes to the school he teaches at. Should he report himself for being married to the parent of a student ?

But your relationship is over. It’s none of your business. Move along!!

There is nothing to suggest this teacher has anything to do with the OP's DC. No reason to believe she would behave unprofessionally. People are stirring up shit.

Why do you believe him?
why do you care?

Does she really deserve to potentially lose her job and her career because she is in a relationship with a single man?

Don't be a bitter, pathetic grass.

Don't do it.

She is allowed to have a relationship with a father at the school. She wont lose her job. She just has to declare a relationship and depending on how long / serious they have been together, maybe not yet. And the way op describes it, maybe not at all.

It is non of your business. I doubt the school will care really, she is not your child’s teacher.
Do not be vindictive. I’d consider sending her the bragging sexual messages on socials media.
Did he really say anything about what they get up to while having sex. Seems very off especially in print.

1. what your ex says about what his new partner says (or even does) is not necessarily true. He may be saying it to hurt you.
2. she may have declared the relationship already - and if she doesn’t reach your child, I’m not sure there is too much of an issue (assuming she is a class teacher rather than senior management or something else).

If she is teaching your child I would ask for a meeting purely because of the issues it might cause your child due to the tit for tat you and your ex seem to be engaging in. If not then it’s absolutely nothing to do with you.

If I was her I’d probably be mortified that my sex life was being shared with a parent at the school I worked in, but there is no way you are going to come out of it looking like the bigger person if you say anything so just leave it alone and let her find out for herself what a cretin he is.

@Yasminaschool Why do you want to retaliate on HER? He's the dick- she's innocent.

I am absolutely on the teachers side here, she has done nothing wrong.

I'm just so surprised the amount who have said there's a chance she may do that, insinuating they know teachers who have behaved like that.

Nothing will happen. You'll be looked at as the ex who's trying to cause trouble.

Why don't you get one of the court admissable apps and move all communication with your ex to that, block him everywhere else, and stop the drama?

Ffs, how could you possibly know that? It's true, I think, that some women really hate other women for some reason...

I wouldn’t report her to school, why punish her for his indiscretion.

I would tell her everything he’s told you though, she needs to know how toxic he is and make a decision if she still wants to see him if he’s revealing their intimate details to other people

You can't know how she views the relationship. If I was her having my sex life broadcast would be a deal breaker. You don't even know if he's telling the truth.

I think it depends how good his sex life is 😂
Probably safe to not let anyone know if he's Mr Vanilla but if he does anything that someone else might not be keen on then he better report himself.

You’re going to punish a woman because your ex is a disgusting misogynist?

Why are you engaging with your ex re new relationships! Don’t report him as you are just stooping to his level and not a good reelection on you! If you can’t co-parent amicably I would suggest using a parenting app

Check the school policies on what should be declared. I’d be more concerned about the kids if she is their teacher sbd im need with their dad. Yoh don’t know what kind of trouble they could cause. I’d maybe consider sharing the messages he has sent about her with her - she may not be aware. She has a professional code of conduct to maintain.

i think id just start evidencing their relationship so you can protect yourself. He sounds nasty. I’d grey rock him. . Imagine all emails being reviewed by a court or the head of- make sure you are an emotionless grey rock in writing